Remember in Middle School, when you heard that Guns ‘N’ Roses were coming out with a new album, Chinese Democracy, and you just knew it was going to kick ass? And remember how now you are in your 30s and it’s been 10 years since you drank six shots of whiskey in a half hour while listening to Use Your Illusion II? Yeah, well anyways, now that you’re old and have children and thought that the latest Kenny G album was “satisfactory, if a little overproduced”, I have news: Guns n’ Roses is coming out with a new album called Chinese Democracy.
Ken Jennings Rocks
Ken Jennings is listing his favorite bands in each state, and I gotta admit, I’m amazed at how many good bands Ken Jennings knows. In Pennsylvania it’s the Roots, and in New York he throws out Public Enemy but gives it to Velevet Underground. Then he makes a call that really makes me think that he and I are two peas in a pod: Virginia: Okay, I’ll be damned if I’m going to put Phish and Dave Matthews Band right in a row. Screw you, jam bands. Does the Carter Family count? Fine, GWAR then. GWAR could chew Dave Matthews up and spit him out. Now, I don’t really like GWAR, but the fact that he gave it to a somewhat obscure heavy metal band over the dreadful DMB gets MAJOR props from me. He also gave Connecticut to Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, who I think are a bit overrated but still think it’s amazing that a Mormon from the middle of nowhere has heard of them.
In Florida, I disagree (Skynard over Tom Petty in my book), but am impressed that he trashes the garbage from there. Florida is clearly the First State of Sucky Bands. Creed, Matchbox Twenty, Limp Bizkit…and that’s before I even get to the boy bands.
In Hawaii, he goes with Pepper, which is wow. I am amazed that he’s heard of them. They are from Kona (the town I lived in), and I saw them live once with about 25 other people. This is like seeing your buddies high school band getting props from Ken Jennings.
In Maryland he goes with Good Charlotte, but is quick to point out that they are the only group from Maryland he’s ever heard of.
All in all, a pretty impressive list. (Stumbled onto via D-Mac.)
Today in the Metro
Today’s column is on one of the most fascinating (and underrated) people of the 20th century, Paul Robeson. Hard to do him justice in 350 words, so I heartily suggest you do some more reading about him.
12,000 People Playing Trivia Marathon in Wisconsin
JohnniE pointed this 54 hour trivia event out to me last night, and I did a little research on it today. Pretty interesting. It’s been going on since 1969, and I still haven’t completely figured out how it works, but apparently, people play in teams of like 25, there are 450 teams, and the radio station asks questions on-air. The teams then figure it out, and get points awarded on some convoluted scale depending on how many teams there are. It’s going down this weekend. The video above is the trailer for a movie they did about it a few years ago. Here’s some more info:
- Here’s the basics of it. Here are some sample questions from 1987-1995, and they are downright impossible.
- If you are a complete and total trivia nerd (and you are) you can listen to this years contest via live streaming.
- Here is the official website.
- Finally, I think we should do a trivia marathon. Like the 24 hours of Le Mans, except with trivia. Don’t ya think?
Am I the only one…
…that didn’t realize that Alan THicke had a son who is a singer? I just found this out. This song is downright awful, but kind of hilarious because I just pretend that Alan Thicke is singing it.
The Art of Awful
Today I was in the Old City area so I decided to check out a movie called the Art of Travel. A film about a 19 year old who finds out that his fiancee (yeah, he’s getting married at 19) is cheating on him with his brother. So at his wedding, he puts envelopes with a pic of his brother and his bride in bed together. (Because if you’re going to cheat on your husband with his brother, you’re going to take photos to commemorate the occasion.) It only gets dumber from there. He flies to Managua, and instantly meets up with two ridiculously hot girls from the Netherlands and has a three way with them. Because that’s what happens to 19 year olds when they go to Managua. He then meets a couple who convince him to go hiking through the woods with them and some of their friends (one of whom happens to be a ridiculously hot Panamanian girl). They hack through the jungle with machetes for months on end, for no good reason. Just to do it.
The dialogue was amazing, with such gems as: “I’ve learned more here in the last 9 months than I did in all of high school. About myself, anyway.” By 45 minutes in, our unflappable 19 year old star had a) jilted his wife at the altar b) had all of his money stolen c) been mugged at knifepoint for his watch d) banged two of the hottest women ever e) met a jungle tribe f) saved the life of one of his cohorts by courageously pulling him out of an out of control jeep g) beaten everyone in the camp at chess and h) almost been bitten by the world’s most dangerous snake. All of this, mind you, without ever getting at all excitable or emotional or even breaking a sweat, just accepting that these things happen. This moviewas what Indiana Jones would be if Indiana Jones sucked.
Quizzo Tonight
Start off at the Locust Rendezvous at 6:15 p.m., where the question must be answered: Can anyone knock off the Jams?
On to the Black Sheep at 8 p.m., which is probably the current quizzo spot with the most parity. Hope to see you tonight!
EXCLUSIVE: Mayor Nutter Apologizes to Joey Vento!
A day after Joey Vento demanded an apology from Mayor Nutter, he got one (below). And hey Joey, congratulations on your cheesesteaks finishing 35th in the city! Might wanna spend a little less time in front of the cameras with that turd eating grin on your face and a little bit more time in the kitchen, since people in Philly are giving your steaks about as much respect as they give a Steak ‘Um. Just kidding. 35th is pretty good. I think you get a trophy for that.
RELATED: Ya Slippin’ by BDP.
Look Out Chuck Norris!
There is a kid in South Jersey who is going to take you out. This hit list of his was obviously not a joke, but a real terroristic threat, and I’m sure the newscasters are giving their “serious solemn faces” when giving this report, even though it includes Chuck Norris. I remember in the 8th grade when I said something smart-ass to a girl in my Latin class named Karen R. She stood up, looked me dead in the eye, and said, “I’ve put together a hit list, and your name is next.” Then she dramatically stormed out of the room. Everybody in class did that “oooooooh” thing, but nobody thought to call the cops.
UPDATE: The terrorist kid in South Jersey and a bunch of his buddies recently took on Chuck Norris in a fight. Here is some exclusive video of what happened next.
Hey Mets fans…
…bummer about the last ever home opener in Shea. Hate to see that happen. Oh well, I’m sure you’ll do better tommorrow. No way you’re gonna lose TEN straight to the Phillies. Right?