This is absolutely brutal. Is she drunk?
Quizzo Tonight
Two blowouts on Tuesday, two nailbiters yesterday. It’ll be interesting to see what happens tonight.
We kick off at the Good Dog at 8 p.m., where the winning score is usually like a 47, so if you want to win JGT quizzo, this is the place to play.
Rumor has it that the Sofa Kingdom may not be making it to the Bards tonight, so it looks like the field is wide open for a new winner. Action starts at 10:15. Hope to see you tonight.
Toughest Questions from last week
- We think of them as things in a department store. In England, its what they call the show “Trading Spaces.”
- Jimi Hendrix began his career playing backup for what rock n roll legend, a legend who still performs to this day?
- What members of the family lampyridae produce a chemical called luciferin?
- Who wrote the 1992 novel Rising Sun?
- This pitcher threw a perfect game for 12 innings, but after giving up a hit in the 13th lost the game. Who was he?
a) Warren Spahn b) Harvey Haddix c) Early Wynn d) Don Newcombe - In what extremely popular 1982 game would the title character try to avoid Pooka and Fygar?
- What company has a stock symbol of KO?
- The bloodiest single day battle in American history took place on September 17, 1862. It resulted in 23,000 casualties, including over 3500 deaths. What battle was it?
- This sexy siren, born Betty Joan Perske starred in The Big Sleep and How to Marry a Millionaire, and costarred with John Wayne in his last film, The Shootist. Who is she?
- In what arcade gaem did Mario make his first appearance?
The Best Thing to Happen to Philly Since Milton Street
This saga between FOX29 and Wilson Goode, Jr. is the gift that just keeps on giving. First the whole Latrice Bryant’s homeade KKK sign drama, then Dolemite shows up and starts crashing into a FOX29 reporter. (Video well worth watching. It’s amazing.) We cannot wait to see what happens next. It is times like this that I really, really love this city. (Amazing Latrice photo from Philebrity who took it from Latrice’s Myspace page.)
Latest in the Metro
Here’s my latest about my bad prophesying skills. Case in point: a few weeks ago, after the Phils lost two of three to the Nationals, I sent out a text saying, “Season over. A bunch of underachieving chokers.” I was reminded of that by three different people within minutes of The Phils win over the Braves on Monday.
Round Three of the Alf Landon Bad Writing Contest
Alright, we’re going to determine our finalists at the conclusion of this round. Voting ends at 6:30 p.m. on Friday.
- Brian-Teetering on the edge of insanity, Alf Landon departed from the morning fog of Topeka, Kansas to find his true identity. He could not believe the “senseless ramblings” of the local populace, nor stand the persistent verbal assaults. You see, it was well known throughout the greater Topeka region that Alf Landon was the illegitimate love child of TV’s Michael Landon and Alf from Melmac.
- Skip-“JEEWWWWWWSSS!” exclaimed a visibly intoxicated Alf Landon, as he realized he was out of Cocoa Puffs.
- Mike-Lou Gehrig can tell people he was the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, but he wasn’t the one being tag-team blown by Alf Landon and Howard Hughes in a broom closet.
- Matt-Jane Fonda was working as a goat cheese dairy farmer, and Alf Landon was in town for a little payola from the CIA. He noticed her as he bumped a waiter preparing Cherries Jubilee, causing a fire.
- Steve-O-It had been a completely ordinary day at IKEA, until suddenly from the ball pit emerged a naked Alf Landon and a Miracle Whip-coated Sporty Spice.
- David-My mother always warned me about guys like Alf Landon.
- Hunter-The speedy spaceship snaps, crackles and pops around us, our long journey now almost over, as we skid to a stuttering stop on this big blue orb and breathe a sigh of oxygenated relief as finally, at long last, me and Alf land on Earth.
Round Two Complete, We Have a Tie!
After Day 1, it looked like Bill had it wrapped up. But William made a startling comeback to pull off an incredible 149-149 tie in Round Two of the Alf Landon Bad Writing Competition. So both men advance to the finals! In fact, I have decided that the top 5 finishers overall will advance to the finals, so I will be adding a wild card. As of right now, Julie is in position to advance, unless two competitors in our final round get more than 14 votes. Voting for the final round will begin shortly.
Read Some Fitzgerald on his birthday
The greatest American writer of the 20th century and possibly ever is celebrating his 112th birthday today, so why no celebrate by reading a couple of his classic short stories. Here are a few of my favorites:
- The Ice Palace.
- The Cut Glass Bowl.
- Bernice Bobs Her Hair.
- Or maybe just take a few minutes to read the first chapter of the great american novel, The Great Gatsby.
Perhaps the most Worthless 24 hours of my life
OK, so a little background. Chip and I decided to enter a 24 hour film festival over the past weekend. We also invited local comedian Kent Haines to be a part of the program. Here was the deal: they sent you a topic and a prop at 10 p.m. on Friday night, and you had to turn in a three and a half minute movie on Saturday night at 10 p.m. We got the email at 10 p.m. The topic was bullies and the prop was a rose. We were going to do like a Karate Kid type film except with robots, but then decided against it. Then, we decided to do a documentary, but after shooting for most of the morning, had nothing good. So then we just decided to make a short film about a bully and a nerd. It turned out pretty awful, as you can see here.
So at 7:15 p.m., with less than three hours remaining in the contest, we decided to start from scratch. We did a one shot film, but although that one was better, we thought it might offend some people. So after working for 24 hours we decided not to enter at all. Despondent after our latest failure and $85 poorer, Chip and I did what anyone would have done under the circumstances: we got a late night dinner at Johnny Rockets.
You Make the Quiz Week!
For a man of leisure, I’ve been doing way too much work lately, so I’ve decided to do the first ever You Make the Quiz week! It’s as simple as it sounds. You send me questions (and answers, preferably right answers) by this coming Monday, I ask ’em at next weeks quizzo. And yes, I will give you credit if I use your question. In fact, if you attend one of the quizzos next week, you are welcome to ask your own question. Just send your questions to johnnygoodtimes@hotmail.com, and I will use the best ones next week. You are welcome to send me one question, or as many as you like. Also feel free also to send me ideas for a 50/50 round or a wild card round. Please get your questions in by Monday, September 29th at 11:59 p.m..