Teams That Dress Up For QB5 Get VIP Seating

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The first few rows of seating to QBV will go not to the teams that arrive earliest but to the teams that arrive flashiest. VIP seating this year is being reserved for teams that either dress outlandishly (and yes, I will be the final arbiter of what constitutes “outlandish”) or dress in team uniforms. I saw how just about every single team dressed up for Denver’s Geek Bowl and I refuse for Philadelphia to be outdone by those clowns in the mountains. If you are curious where you can get team uniforms for a fair price, contact Triple Play Sporting Goods at 9th and Christian. (215) 923-5466. They’ve always given me a good rate and you’ll be supporting local business to boot. Also, I’m coming up with more ways to give VIP status to teams that dress up, so I’ll have more details soon. You’ve got plenty of time to pull this together. Now get crackin’!

Johnny Goodtimes to Host Chip Chantry Zero Man Show!!!

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Hey kids, just got a call from Chip, who told me that he is sick as a dog** and he can’t make it to his own show tonight. However, the show must go on, and will therefore be hosted by me (above, being punched in the face as an adolescent). Now, I know what you’re thinking: “This is some sort of put-on by Johnny and Chip and then Chip is going to show up halfway through the show and pretend like he’s sick and yadda yadda yadda.” No, we’ll probably do that next month, but this month it’s for real. So we’re gonna put the Wheel of Terrific off until next month, and in the meantime we’re adding Philadelphia’s Funniest 2008, Kent Haines to the show. That is in addition to Steve Gerben, who was named Philly’s Funniest by Helium Comedy Club in 2007. That’s two of Philly’s funniest for the price of one, and should counter the damage done by me, Johnny Goodtimes, who was named Philadelphia’s Least Funny Man for three years running (2004-2006). So, the story is this: Show starts at 8:30 p.m. sharp. Drinks at the Khyber are ridiculously cheap (I think PBR is like a buck a can.) It’s gonna be a good show, and it’s only $5 to get in. And most importantly, if it goes well, I can tell Chip that he isn’t really needed anymore and I can become the new permanent host of the Chip Chantry One Man Show! I’m drunk with my newfound power. Braw-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

**a chocolate lab

Win $375 Worth of Prizes in the iSportacus Bracket-tacular!

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It’s that time of year again. Time for me to finish in the bottom five of my own bracket-tacular, just like I do every year. And time for some of you to win big. All you got to do is go to the iSportacus Bracket-tacular, click on the link, and start filling out your brackets. The person who scores the highest will win $200 worth of local restaurant gift certificates, and 2nd and third also get sweet prizes. The person who scores the least points gets a $25 gift certificate as well. Get crackin’, kids, and remember that, no matter how poorly you do, you’re probably going to beat me.

FAQs About Quizzo Bowl V!


Alright, kids, just gonna answer a few questions I’ve been getting about Quizzo Bowl V, so you know where we stand as we get ready to head down the homestretch.
WHEN: March 28th. Doors Open at 5:00 p.m., Trivia starts at 6:00 p.m.
WHERE: New Golden Palace. 8th and Washington.
WHAT: The world’s premier quizzo competition, Quizzo Bowl V will determine who will be crowned the Best Team in Quizzo.
PRIZE MONEY: Bumping it up this year. Winning team walks with $800 cash, 2nd place gets $400, 3rd place gets $200.
ENTERTAINMENT: Haulin’ Oats, a Hall and Oates cover band, will perform between rounds. I am working on the halftime show. There is also talk of another Philly music legend making a appearance. More on that next week. Also, before the game begins, we’ll be showing the debut movie trailer to the Quizzo Documentary that was shot last year.
TICKETS: Tickets can be purchased in one of two places. Either by going online and purchasing them here, or by buying them from me at quizzo next week. The tickets are $25 (there is a $1.62 surcharge for ordering online) and that includes not only the show but also beer and wine. They will be $30 at the door.
FOOD: The New Golden Palace will be selling dim sum.
TEAM MAXIMUM: Team maximum is 8 players. Any team with less than 6 players will share a table with another small team or possibly team up. Which is fine, but we just have to maximize space so that as many people can play as want to. I am expecting a sellout, so get your tickets early!

If you have any further questions, please feel free to shoot me an email.

Scoreboard, Brought to You by the Big South Champions (Woo-Hoo!!!)

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O’NEALS

  1. Happy Mar10 Day 104
  2. Hopplhead 90
  3. Why’s John’s Rum Gone 88
  4. How to Treat a Lady 88
  5. Young Old and Restless 86

BARDS

  1. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion 105
  2. Chris Brown’s Greatest Hits 84
  3. Bad Amish 83
  4. You’re What They Call a ‘Practice Girl’ 67
  5. That’s Why You’re Fat 63

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

  1. Quiz All Over Your Face 107
  2. The Jams 98
  3. 1022 90
  4. PBR Pounders 84
  5. Susan’s Peters 83

BLACK SHEEP

  1. Duane’s World 106
  2. Satan’s Minions 99
  3. Sofa Kingdom 98
  4. Unusual Suspects 91
  5. Catdog 87

BARDS

  1. Lambda Lambda Lambda 110
  2. Lacedarius O’Brickashaw 107
  3. L. Ron Hubbard Diabetics 100
  4. Hurtin Bombs 98
  5. Orin Hatch Stimulus 93

Quizzo News and Notes

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First off, no Quizzo at the Good Dog tonight. Ok, so that means no new quiz at Bards (same quiz as Tuesday). I have a million projects going on right now and can use the extra time. As for Quizzo Bowl, a few notes:

  • Tickets are selling well. We’re up around 30 sold in the first few days, and really none of the regulars have bought yet.
  • Please get your team together and then buy tickets! It just makes things much easier for all of us. It’s gonna be packed in tight that night, so I need to maximize the seats we have. I need to make sure to not oversell of undersell, and since I’m a knucklehead, I’ll never figure it out if people keep buying tix two at a time. So try to put the team together and get your money right, if at all possible. Thanks!
  • Yes, the rumors are true. The between round entertainment will be a Hall and Oates cover band. There are also rumors of a Philly music legend also joining us for a short set. I am still working on the halftime act.
  • I will have tickets on me tonight at the Bards. Tickets are also available online.
  • Team maximum is 8 people. If you have a team of less than 6 people, expect to have another team to share your table or team up with you.

How to Totally Rock a First Date

A friend of mine went to check out her match.com account this morning, and this was what was written at the bottom right hand corner of her screen:
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Apparently the message got cut off a little early. But anything it was supposed to say was much less true than what actually came up. Ladies, in case you were curious, that is precisely how you totally rock a first date.