Sports Shorts

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Taser haikus!

A hearty debate in the iSportacus comment section over whether or not the taser should have been used on that kid Monday night. I say yes, Palestra Jon, BMT, Parsnip, et al. disagree. We’re still not sure exactly where Bob T. stands. He sort of plays the fence on this one.

I’ve started doing some writing for Comcast. Here’s my column for today: Best 5 Mexican American athletes of all time. I also heartily recommend the NFL Draft All-Name team, featuring Selvish Capers and Roddrick Muckelroy.

I’ve also begun doing quizzes for them. Here’s one: NFL First Rounder or Not Drafted at all.

$135 on the Line at Quizzo Tonight

It’s Big Money Tuesday, the richest night of the week in quizzo circles. At O’Neals, the prize package is up to $50 and $25, and at Bards it is still a hefty $40 and $20. Got what it takes to take down the top teams at either bar (Savage Ear at O’Neals and Steak Em Up at Bards)? Test your mettle tonight. O’Neals starts at 8 p.m., and Bards at 10:15 p.m. Cheap margaritas at O’Neals and $2.50 Miller Lites and Lagers at Bards. Hope to see you tonight!

JGT Power Rankings

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How to rank them this week, with a Superteam running amok at Bards last week? The JGTPR computer came back with some interesting results.

  1. L. Ron Hubbard’s Diabetics. Knock off a packed house at Ugly American last week. Their 6th straight win raises the Bounty to $25 this Thursday. Last week: #2
  2. Steak Em Up. They barely win on Thursday to hold onto their top spot, but their refusal to participate in a postgame chug-off drops them from the top spot.  Last week #1.
  3. The Savage Ear. Continue to be the class of O’Neals. But with a higher purse bound to attract larger crowds, can they hold onto their power? Last week: #5
  4. The Jams. Miss a perfect score by one question in the first round by not listening to Darth Ern and finish with a 118. But can they pull away from a tough pack at our most challenging bar? Last week: #7
  5. Duane’s World: A nice win at the Westbury over Group W, but two losses by less than one question at Black Sheep and Ugly American. Last week: #4
  6. Catdog: Rocket up the charts with a big win at Black Sheep. Last week: #10
  7. Lambda: Take a week off and, due to some impressive performances elsewhere, plummet in the standings. Last week: #3
  8. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion: If 2nd Place was the new black, the Dysfunktion would be the sexiest team in quizzo. Last week: #6
  9. Inglorious Barristers. Four 2nd place finishes and three 3rd Place finishes in the last ten weeks without ever pulling off a single win. Gotta award consistency. Last week: NR
  10. Look Up Look Down Now I’m a Horse. Take Steak Em Up to the brink on Thursday night, then challenged the Steak to a Chug off for all the marbles. (Steak Em Up declined.) Moxie is always rewarded in the power rankings. Last week: NR

Others receiving votes: Where’s John’s Rum; Dalembert Report; 1022; Phillie RNs; Magnus ver Magnusson; Plastic Paddies

What Brought You Here?

alanIt’s always a hoot to see how people landed on my page. The things that they type in and somehow end up on my site is ridiculous. The top search is usually the Houston 500, a gangbang that took place like 8 years ago and I wrote like one sentence about in 2004. Here are some more of my favorite search terms that brought people to the site in the past month:

Detroit Hookers where can I find

WNBA porn

paging Mr. Herman

funny facts about William McKinley

cabbage

reptilians among us

busty infomercial

alan thicke speedo

and when there was no meat we ate fowl

emotional blowjob

destroymom.com

Gary Hogeboom salary

fun facts about dysentery

johnny be good time kennel

Quizzo Tonight at the Westbury

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Another good quiz at the Westbury last week. Tonight  the action continues at 10:30 p.m. Feel free to swing by the Westbury earlier to catch the Phils game, as the quiz will start as soon as it’s over. Here’s a few words from Mike Minion about tonight’s quiz:

 

Once again, there was spirited competition at The Westbury last week.  When the dust settled, Duane’s World won and the last place team chose “1980’s music” for tonight’s theme round.  This topic leaves the door open for a new team to come in and take over the top spot.  The action there kicks off tonight at 10:30 (as usual) and we expect a big crowd.  In addition to the popularity of the theme, Monday’s keg special will be Great Lakes Burning River for $3. This is a pale ale that is rated 5 stars. The featured brewery is Victory and bottles of all Victory beers are specially priced. 

 

We are working out some new specials and ideas with the folks at Ugly American, so we are going to take a week’s hiatus.  We’ll be back with the revamped quizzo next Monday. Hope to see you tonight! 

Bounty Bowl Tonight!

frenchfry1The best quizzo in Philly rolls on tonight at the Ugly American at 8 p.m. L. Ron Hubbard’s Diabetics look to win their 6th straight, but any team that can stop them and take first place gets $15 cash in addition to their $30 prize. All drafts a dollar off during quizzo. We then move to the Bards at 10:15 p.m., where in addition to  the $40 first place money, all Miller Lites and Lagers are $2.50 during quizzo. Also, there is still time to tell me what 50/50 or Wild Card round you want to see tonight. Just join Johnny Goodtimes Quizzo over on facebook and let me know by posting a comment. Keep in mind that it is French Fry Thursday! Somebody’s going home with a brand new basket of fries! And of course, I have more roller tix to give away and more great last place prizes. Hope to see you tonight!