Around the Horn, Brought to you by Cowboy Curtis

Oh boy, Smackdown just sent me this exciting Pee Wee info. Start getting excited, America. Laurence Fishburn better be making an appearance.
In a parallel universe, quizmasters are worshipped as living deities. So if this does turn out to be an alternate universe, I am totally going.
You know how those new cell phones can show your friends where you are, so now they can stalk you at all hours of the day and night? Well, guess who else might be using those cell phones to stalk you? The federal government.
Dunno if you missed this over Thanksgiving, but Bill Conlin is caught up in a bit of a firestorm after he said that Hitler should have eliminated bloggers in an email to a blogger which the blogger then published. Had Hitler eliminated bloggers, would that have made him benevolent?

Ryugyong Hotel Gets Screwed Over by Esquire!

Esquire Magazine recently did a “7 Wonders of the Totalitarian World“, and guess what got nary a mention? The most amazing hotel on Earth. Esquire, I don’t know who did your “fact checking”, but anyone who thinks some crappy ass statue of some dude from the Congo is more impressive than a 105 story hotel without windows is out of their mind. Are you serious? This is an outrage to those of us who appreciate totalitarian wonders. I expect a front page apology in your next episode, or I will be canceling my subscription.

Is this front page anti-semitic?

There are some people who are outraged that this appeared on the cover of Philadelphia Weekly last week. The money line: “Where did your art director receive her training?” wrote Solomon Moses in an angry letter he sent to PW and then forwarded to the Exponent. “At the Heinrich Himmler Academy of Design?”

MyQuizzo.com, ship up or shape out

When they first came out, it was a great thing. The good people at Myquizzo.com were gonna give everyone in Philly a source to go to to know when and where to find a quizzo that night. Even better, they were gonna do reviews of the various quizzos and bios of the various quizmasters. It was a great set up. And then, nothing. Under news, they have made one entry in the past year and a half. The site is covered with ads for porn and various annoying pop-ups. The Dive, which hasn’t hosted quizzo in over a year, is still listed, while the Rendezvous and the Black Sheep are not. Come on, guys. Either do it right or shut it down. You’re the first thing that comes up on google when you type in quizzo, and your half-ass site is giving the game a bad name.

Around the Horn

Quizmaster Chris reports that some corporate quizzo entity is trying to make it’s way into Philly. That doesn’t bother me so much as the fact that, as Chris points out, this corporate entities website doesn’t mention Philly in it’s history of pub trivia in the US, but does mention New York. Which, um, has virtually no quizzo. That’s like talking about the United Nations and mentioning Philly but not New York. Except this is worse, because people care about quizzo, and nobody cares about the United Nations.
Why can’t we limit guns in this city? Because idiots in rural PA need them to shoot rare animals. I so hope that bears raid one of these redneck towns and eat all the villagers. That would be awesome.
Cataldi’s column this week was much better. He actually veered off his McNabb/Reid dead horse diatribes and wrote about how cheap Phillies ownership is. Since this is something that drives me clinically insane, I’m glad someone is writing about it. This ownership is, instead of trying to build a champion around it’s three superstars, trying to take advantage of them to get people in the park while keeping payroll low.

MVP! MVP!

Philly Sports Shorts

Point spread for the Eagles-Patriots game? 23 points. That is simply unbelievable. I am quite sure it is the first time a 5-5 team has ever been a 23 point underdog. And keep in mind that Super Bowl III is considered the biggest upset in NFL history, and the Jets were only an 18 point underdog. Even still, would you take the Eagles and the points? Honestly?
The Phillies tried to score Mike Lowell over the weekend, and even offered a better deal than the Red Sox, but he stayed in Boston. Jerk.
Good news for Lancaster native and Barnstormer fan Chill Rob A. Von “5 for 1” Hayes has just been signed as their manager.
Announcement in about half an hour to let us know if J-Roll won MVP.

Question of the week

Who wrote a poem called “The Courtship of Miles Standish”?

Review of Spaceballs

You guys really blew it on this one. Terrible choice. I’m sorry, but I saw every single joke in this movie coming from a mile away. I may have laughed three or four times, but there was never a part of the movie that I can say I thoroughly enjoyed. Darth Helmet was the only moderately funny character. I love John Candy, and my disappointment in what a terrible character he played cannot be overstated. I’m sure I would have liked this movie when I was 12, and I have a feeling that that’s why you guys like it so much, but trust me, this one doesn’t hold up. Or perhaps if I had done some deadly marijuana and then watched it at the deadliest time of the day it would have been funnier. However, that would have also led down a road to death and despair. I suspect this is the worst movie I will see in the Classic Movie Experiment. D-

PREVIOUSLY: JGT reviews North By Northwest.
PREVIOUSLY: JGT reviews Dr. Strangelove.

Goodtimes Changes Endorsement, Going WIth Huckabee

In a startling announcement today, Philadelphia quizmaster Johnny Goodtimes changed his endorsement from Ron Paul to Mike Huckabee. Why? Simple. Johnny’s boyhood idol has come out in support of Huckabee, and Johnny is now doing the same. “I understand why Mike Huckabee is being endorsed by Ric Flair. Mike reminds Flair of a young Tully Blanchard,” says Goodtimes. “Mike Huckabee is now the man to beat. And to be the man, you gotta beat the man. WOOOOOOOOOOO!”

P.S. The first comment under this story states: “YO SERIOUSLY CNN – YOU’RE STARTING TO PISS ME OFF. RON PAUL HAS A FEW WRESTLERS HIMSELF THAT SUPPORT HIM – WHY NOT COVER THAT? HE HAS BOTH KANE AND VAL VENIS. JUSTICE PLEASE.”
These people are insane.