Sexy Time!

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  • Don’t you hate it when you’re doing blow with three transvestite hookers, and all of a sudden things get weird?
  • The Jimi Hendrix sex tape has been released, and it has people wondering: how will this affect his career?
  • The BBC asks, Does sex addiction exist? Absolutely. Why, just the other day, I was thinking to myself, “Man, I really need to stop having all of this sex. It is completely out of control how much nonstop sex I am having all of the time. I must be some sort of addict. Alas, I guess this is the price I must pay for being so damn irresistable.” (Sigh).

Why No Love?

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Apparently tickets are selling poorly to tomorrow night’s Game 6 against the Pistons. What? I mean tickets aren’t that expensive, the team, although blown out in the last two games, has taken this series deeper than anyone thought they would, and they are a fun team to watch. Philly.com is giving away almost 100 tickets, and WIP is giving away tickets as well. That means that nobody is buying, and they don’t want the arena to look empty for a Game 6 in the playoffs. Playoffs, people! I went last Friday and it was a blast. If I didn’t have to work manana, I’d be there again. Crowd energy is such a big part of playoff basketball (thus the huge home court advantage), and it’s really lame if we’re the only city that can’t bring any.

This town is so ridiculous. We’ve got two teams in the playoffs, the baseball team is hot, and I’ll bet you dollars to donuts that if you turn on WIP today, they’re talking about the NFL draft and what to do with Lito Sheppard. Well, I don’t care if they drop Lito Sheppard into the goddamm river with cement shoes on, we have two teams in the playoffs so screw the Eagles.

Mussolini

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It was on this date in 1945 that Mussolini, 5 of his guards, and his mistress were executed. There has been a strange cover up with the love letters between Mussolini and his mistress, Clara Petacci. Time magazine reported on their letters in 1952, as the letters were taken over by Italian authorities despite a legal fight by Petacci’s relatives to reclaim them. Many of those letters were stolen while in the custody of the Italian government. Another interesting conspiracy theory: that Mussolini was killed by undercover British agents. Oh, and one more interesting thing about Mussolini: Like Hitler, he fancied himself an artist.

Scoreboard, Brought to You By Ern Mania!

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O’NEALS

  1. Jonesin’ For Sam 105
  2. This Is Not a Bus 103
  3. Young Old and Restless 97
  4. We Got Nothin’ 92
  5. Suck IT Super Tuesday 85

BARDS (Tuesday)

  1. Sofa Kingdom 115
  2. Just the Tip 91
  3. Narkotyzing 88
  4. Hillary’s Downstairs 73
  5. Girls Gone Oscar Wilde 59

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

  1. But My Mom Says I’m Cool 85
  2. The Jams 81
  3. 1022 76
  4. Susan’s Peters 76
  5. Tom & Kathleen 72

BLACK SHEEP

  1. The Axis of Evil Knieval 97
  2. Duane’s World 88
  3. CatDog 86
  4. Surrender Hillary 76
  5. Queef Latina 75

GOOD DOG

  1. Oakwood Revisited 89
  2. I Did Blow With Barack 88
  3. Tallstones 81
  4. Ku-nu 80
  5. We’Re Not Bank Tellers 79

BARDS (Thursday)

  1. Hurtin’ Bombs 102
  2. Sofa Kingdom 101
  3. Anal Bum Covers 98
  4. Don’t Sit in Front 94
  5. Western Omelette 92

Around the Horn, brought to you by Andre Igoudala (Video NSFW due to Cussing)

  • Check out my latest post on Kerri Lee’s blog. This one’s about strange festivals in May.
  • Quick note to Chet Bumstead: If I am flirting with a couple of cute girls after quizzo at the Bards, please don’t don’t grab my ass and scream “Come on honey, I’m ovulating.” It really hurts my already very, very weak game.
  • First the questionable goal, then the questionable penalty call. Did the Flyers get hosed last night?
  • Let’s Go Sixers! I’m actually gonna be at the game tonight (My first ever NBA playoff game). Look for me on tv. I’ll be the guy whose seat is about 200 yards from the court. Still, it should be a blast.

Happy B-Day Ginger!

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Johnny’s good friend and occasional co-host (as well as Philly’s official Queen of Beer) the Lovely Ginger turns 30 today. That’s right 30. Girl, you’ll be a woman soon! Anyways, if you wanna wish Ginger (aka Suzanne Woods) a Happy Birthday, hit her up at Myspace. And if you wanna wish her a happy b-day in person, she’ll be holding court at Jose Pistollas between 6-8 p.m.