3 Philly Funny Folks You Absolutely, Positively Should Be Following on Twitter, Part 2

Yesterday I gave you the twitter accounts of three of the funniest guys in Philly. Today I’ll give you three more. Well, two more guys, technically, and one girl. Here goes.

Luke Cunningham. I dunno where this guy is these days. New York, Philly, LA. He seems to be all over the place looking for comedy work. A guy working hard to make it happen. He’s from Philly, he performs here regularly, and he’s damn funny. A member of the hilarious Bird Text crew, best known for their Real Househusbands of Philadelphia skit. Here’s a few funny things he’s posted in the past few days.

Casey Anthony is the Michael Vick of babies. Only way I’d ever root for her again is if she was electrifying in the open field.

Busch Gardens Europe is so realistic. My girlfriend spent a semester there and came back a pretentious lesbian.

I’m hilarious as long as we spend less than an hour together and don’t see each other again for at least 3 years.

Mary Radzinski. This Philadelphia funnywoman is as clever on twitter as she is doing standup. She hosts a comedy open mic at Urban Saloon every Monday at 8 p.m.

My grandfather talking about a transgendered woman at his church, “she’s got a hell of a handshake”. #notsurehegetsit

Someone was ripe at the nail salon. And not with anticipation.

There are people who say, “if you can think it, you can do it”. I wish those people would think about piping down.

Mike Rainey. If you like warped, twisted senses of humor, this is the dude for you. He’s the kind of guy that you find yourself laughing at hysterically while simultaneously feeling a slight twinge of guilt for laughing. Here’s a sample:

A surprise party for Nelson Mandela in theory would have been a great idea. But blindfolding him and leading him to an unknown location..bad taste.

I hope Kenny G is the loudmouthed, drunken racist I imagine him to be.

You should be able to exchange a negative pregnancy test for a 4 pack of Mike’s Hard Lemonade.

3 more funny folks coming tomorrow! If you want to follow me on twitter, click here. And also be sure to follow our Philly Sports History twitter account as well. Also, I’ll be doing standup on Friday, July 29th at the Shubin Theater. Details forthcoming.

JGTSI Scores Are Up; New Physical Challenge Posted

Here are the scores after 6 weeks. Things are getting interesting. The top of the leaderboard is littered with teams who are taking this physical challenge stuff seriously. After that, we’ve got our usual suspects (Steak Em Up, the Jams, and Duane’s World). I think our Top 10 teams are all but settled. That leaves a lot of teams vying for our final 5 spots. You wanna get a leg up on earning one of those spots? There’s a new physical challenge on facebook. Extremely simple, and should be pretty funny to see photos of you guys as kids.

Now, before you decide whether to do a physical challenge and get your team out to quizzo the next few weeks in the hopes of earning a spot, keep this in mind: you are not only vying for fabulous cash and prizes, you are vying to be a part of history. The Top 15 teams not only get an invite to the JGTSI, they will be representing Philadelphia against Denver, Albuquerque, and Austin in a City vs. Smackdown at 7 p.m. on Sunday, August 7th at the National Mechanics. We’ll have live music, drink and food specials, and a lot of fun. And the city whose top 10 teams have the best average scores? They get to name the Cup that will be presented to the winning city at either Geek Bowl if it’s one of their cities or at Quizzo Bowl if it’s Philly. I really want Dicker, the head of Geeks Who Drink, to have to walk on stage and present me with that trophy.

There is some hope if you don’t finish in the Top 15 and want to be a part of this historic event. You can earn a wild card spot by winning first place at a quiz on the last week or performing a series of extremely difficult physical challenges. But you can make things a heck of a lot easier on yourself by getting your ass in gear the next two weeks. Between finishing Top 3 at the quizzes and getting physical challnge points, there is no reason any team can’t shoot to the top 15 in the next two weeks.

But there’s no time to waste. Your best shot to earn points? Right now it’s playing at City Tap House, Ugly American, and the Bards. They’re the easiest bars to score a win in right now. And furthermore, I’ll have physical challenge points to give out at actual quizzos this week. So be there! Hope to see ya this week!

3 Philly Funnymen You Absolutely, Positively Should Be Following on Twitter

It seems like the people whose tweets I enjoy the most also have the fewest people enjoying their tweets. It goes to show what a s**tshow twitter is. Whereas 8.3 million people are apparently fascinated by Kim Kardashian (latest tweet: “I learned so much about couture today!”), most of the funniest, most talented standups in Philly only have a couple hundred followers, if that. Well putting them on this site ain’t exactly gonna make them famous, but that’s not the point. The point is that if you are a fan of my quizzes and my sense of humor, then I think you’ll get a kick out of picking up what these guys are putting down. So each day this week I’ll post 3 new people who write my favorite accounts. And if you’ve got any recommendations for people I should be following, please post on facebook or in the comments. Oh, and if you wanna follow me on twitter, just click here. For day 1, I’ve got 3 of the funniest guys on twitter.

John Kensil. Completely off-key and hilarious. He once told me, “Never go for the first joke that comes to mind. Always go with the second one.” Thus his strange and zany twitter account, where his jokes never tend to end where you think they will. Here’s a sample:

I broke my nose watching womens soccer. The phone rang and my pants were around my ankles.

It’s so hot this morning I just saw a kid making tar angels in the street. Oh wait a minute. Breakdancing? No scratch that. It’s a seizure.

The Octomom had a flash mob in her uterus.

Jim Grammond. Edgy, hilarious, and clever. A former member of MAGMA from back in the day turned very funny comedian.

A lot of people forget that desegregation halved business for a lot of hardworking, honest water fountain makers.

These Tropical Starburst make me feel I’m relaxing in an island paradise that’s littered with Starburst wrappers and contains my work desk.

Going to Wildwood for the day because I want to dodge roving packs of trashy kids on wooden planks rather than sidewalks.

Chip Chantry. Just as hilarious online as he is in person. But don’t tell him I said that. I don’t want him to know that I think he’s funny.

Fireworks are like pornography: Professional ones are prettier, but amateur ones are way more fun.

Justin Timberlake & partners just purchased MySpace for $35 million. In a related story, Joey Fatone bought a futon off of craigslist.

Tone Loc pleads not guilty to domestic violence charge, stating “That’s what happens when bodies start slappin'”.

I’ll be back tomorrow with 3 more Philly funnymen.

Let’s Relive Our Childhoods Next Week

The Denver style quiz was weird. There were some things I liked about it and some things I didn’t. I liked the fact that you could blow it on one topic and still have a chance to win, and I liked the audio rounds. Those of you who didn’t play Thursday (and that was most of you. Where the hell was everybody on Thursday?) missed a damn good music round. Here’s a sample of what you missed. What did you think of the Denver style quiz? Vote here.

Next week we’re going to start acting like adults, with our “Cartoons, Comics, and Kid’s Stuff” week. There will be plenty of questions about the things that you were into when you were a kid, whether you were a child of the 60s, 70s, 80s, or 90s. Video games, board games, cereals, Saturday morning cartoons, Barbie dolls, etc.

We’ll also have an “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader” style round, with my mom writing questions she’s asked her 4th graders through the years. And of course child stars. Lots and lots of child stars. This is gonna be a good one. Oh, and speaking of cartoons, Koob and Kristy will be hosting an all-Simpsons quiz on Monday at Chenango.

There are rumors that I’ll be hosting a regular quiz in the Art Museum/Fairmount area in the near future. Are they true?

And JGTSI scores coming Monday. There are two weeks left to get your team in the mix and represent Philly in the City vs. City Smackdown. Otherwise, you’ll have to take your chances on Wild Card Week, where to earn an invite you’ll either have to win that week or perform some damn hard physical challenges. You’ve got until Monday to earn 6 points via a very easy physical challenge. If you wanna earn an invite to the most important quizzo in Philadelphia’s history, 6 quick points can get you right in the thick of things.

 

All New Denver Style Quiz Tonight for French Fry Thursday

After two days, I have to say the thing I like most about the Denver quiz is that I’ve only got to host it for one more night. Don’t get me wrong. I get the impression that people like playing it. But hosting it is another matter. Grading 8 rounds? Writing 64 questions? When did quizzo become hard labor? I might as well get a real job.

A few things to note. First off, I think tonight’s quiz will be slightly easier than the earlier quiz. That McDonald’s round turned out almost impossible. But the music round will still be hard, since it has to be, since Denver has joker rules that don’t make any damn sense.

We start at Ugly American at 8 p.m. $1 corn dogs, $3 Lagers. On to the Bards at 10:15 p.m. UA was bumpin last week, but Bards was kind of quiet. If you are hoping to get on the JGTSI scoreboard, I think you should probably get the squad together tonight. We’re coming up on crunch time, and you don’t want to take your chances on Wild Card Week (to be explained soon). Also, I went to Spike’s today to look at trophies. The City vs. City Smackdwon Trophy is gonna be sweet. I’m also thinking about getting one for next Sunday’s sports quiz (July 24th). That’s gonna be at City Tap House. Details coming soon.