Just a quick reminder that even if you haven’t scored any points yet, you still have an opportunity to play in the JGTSI/City vs. City Smackdown. But you need to get on the ball. Get a photo of you as a child posted on the Johnny Goodtimes Quizzo Page by Monday at Noon to get your team in the mix. Alright, it was just too damn hot to post pics and scores today, but I’ll have them up Saturday morning.
The Best 10 Words You Will Read All Day
From People magazine, January 1997. The best part is highlighted, though the whole paragraph is pretty tremendous.
Clerk Robert Waller was working the late shift at the Wal-Mart in Fredericton, N. B., when Elmo-mania hit him. Literally. It was after midnight on Dec. 14, and a crowd of about 300 had gathered to get their hands on the store’s latest shipment of Tickle Me Elmo, that vibrating, giggling, must-have toy of the holiday season. Waller, 27, was holding an Elmo when the crowd spotted him—and stampeded. “I was pulled under, trampled—the crotch was yanked out of my brand-new jeans,” says Waller, who suffered a pulled hamstring, injuries to his back, jaw and knee, a broken rib and a concussion. “I was kicked with a white Adidas before I became unconscious.”
Just think about that. It’s not bad enough you’re being run over by dozens of people. It’s not bad enough that they give you a concussion, a broken rib, and a pulled hamsting. It’s not bad enough that they “yanked” the crotch out of your jeans and left you lying there, unconscious and crotchless. But what really seemed to bother Robert was that these jeans were BRAND NEW. That’s just going over the line. I mean, if you’re going to give a guy concussion over a stuffed animal, that’s one thing, but don’t rip the crotch out of some jeans that he just bought. Now you’re just being inconsiderate.
Five Cool Things We Learned This Week
After cleaning himself up, Todd Bridges saved a woman from drowning.
- Barbie dolls were based on an “adult” gag gift in Germany known as a Bild Lilli doll. “Early fashions are noted for their particular seductive design. Originally this doll had been produced as an advertisement gag for adults.” In 1956, an American woman named Ruth Handler, whose husband was one half of the Mattel ownership team, went to Germany on vacation. She came across the Bild Lilli doll, purchased three, and gave one to her daughter, whose name was Barbie. Her daughter loved the toy, and Mattel decided to take a chance on the first adult doll for kids. Needless to say, it paid off handsomely.
- The Etch a Sketch was invented by a Frenchman in 1959, who originally called it L’Ecran Magique. Here’s how an Etch-a-Sketch works.
- The first video game to reach mainstream popularity was PONG, released in 1972. Here is a really cool history of video games, and you can play PONG online by clicking here. 39 years later, and it’s still a pretty damn fun game.
Kristy and Koob Hosting Hair Metal Quiz Tonight
What better way to celebrate the 24th anniversary of Appetite for Destruction being released than to play a little hair metal quizzo? Koob and Kristy host tonight at Drinkers Old City. Action starts at 8 p.m. If you like Cinderella, KISS, and Stryper, prepare to rock out tonight.
All New Kids Quiz Tonight
The van’s been a-rockin all week, and let’s hope it continues tonight, where in addition to free French Fries, I’m gonna be giving away bonus JGTSI points. That’s right, if you want a chance to get your team in the mix for the JGTSI, you couldn’t pick a better night than tonight. First of all, there is no clearcut favorite at Ugly American at 8 p.m. $1 corn dogs and $3 Stoudts and Kenzingers. Could be a great chance to earn JGTSI points. On to the Bards at 10:15 p.m. $3 Lagers. A chance to knock off the legendary Steak Em Up crew and become quizzo immortals. Hope to see you tonight!
Rumors of Me Rapping at Quizzo Tonight Are Completely False
I won’t be rapping at quizzo tonight. Period. You can take that to the bank, bub, because it won’t be happening. All questions about toys, games, cartoons, children’s literature, and the like. We had a lot of fun with it last night. You’re gonna like this quiz. Locust Rendezvous at 6:15 p.m. Black Sheep at 8 p.m. See ya tonight.
3 Philly Funnymen You Should Be Following on Twitter, Part 3
On Monday we brought you part one, on Tuesday we brought you part two, and today we bring you part three of our funniest Philly folks to follow on twitter. First, I must give credit where credit is due. I got the idea from Larry Mendte, who I steal all my great ideas from. Some of his suggestions for funniest were spot on with mine (Chip Chantry, Blake Wexler, Mary Radzinski, Paul Triggiani) and some were a bit off the mark (No names, but some of the ones on his list were pretty bad). But Larry also included some people with like 40,000 followers, where my goal is m0re to show off people that not a lot of people follow, but should be following. So here are our next 3.
Blake Wexler. He’s young, he’s dumb, and he’s full of fun. And I was just kidding about the dumb part. He’s pretty smart. He goes to some fancy pants college up north. I won’t bother to look up which one, but I think it’s one for smart people. And he’s funny. Here’s a small sample.
Going to see Harry Porter tonight, where I plan on making a HUGE deal about bringing my own 3D glasses.
My ex treated her body like a temple. And by that, I mean every Friday night she’d fill it with Jews.
At a bar. Just walked up to a married women, sensually removed her wedding ring, and swallowed it. #nowwhat
Doogie Horner. A brilliantly quirky local comedian and master of the flowchart, though he is best known by suburbanites for appearing on America’s Got Talent. As great as he was on AGT, he’s even funnier when non-idiot audiences let him actually tell his jokes. Go see him live. He is also damn funny on twitter.
A lot of people ask me how I write my jokes. Let me tell you: I write them at the piano in an empty house, tears streaming down my face.
If someone is about to beat you up, but stops and says, “You’re not worth it,” what they mean is, “only valuable people deserve beatings.”
How many brazen, up-and-coming pan flute novices have challenged Zamfir for his title?
Christian Alsis. One half of the laugh-out-loud Feeko Brothers, perhaps my favorite sketch duo in Philly. If you ever get a chance to see these guys, DO IT. Seriously, they never disappoint.
Amish people are just hippies without the shitty jam band music.
Buying a bran muffin is like paying $1.75 to poop at work.
The way that nomadic tribes move from place to place is unsettling.
I’ll be back tomorrow with 3 more funny folks.
Reliving Your Childhood Quizzo Starts on Big Money Tuesday (Plus Phils Tix to Give Away)
Going to be a very fun quiz this week. Designed to take you back to your childhood, whether you were a child of the 1950s, 60s, 70s, 80s, or 90s. All questions will be about toys, kids tunes, video games, and other childhood delights.
We start at O’Neals at 8 p.m., where we have a new winner pretty much every week. It’s parity run amok. $3.50 Mexican beers.
On to the City Tap House, where in addition to great specials (personal pizza and a beer for $10, $3 Sly Foxes) and huge prizes ($100 gift certificate for first, $50 for 2nd), I’m going to be giving away a pair of Phillies tickets for this Friday’s game. It’s been quiet there lately, so it’s a great spot to earn a few JGTSI points as well. Action starts at 10:15 p.m.
Question of the Week
The band Sugar Ray originally named themselves after a toy created by a Wisconsin mom named Kathryn Bloomberg in 1973, before a lawsuit forced them to change it to Sugar Ray. What toy is it?
JGT Super Sports Quiz on July 31st
The JGT Super Sports Quizzo Spectacular is being pushed back a week. We are working on getting some totally bitchin’ prizes, so we’re gonna need a little extra time. So here’s the deal: the quiz will take place at 7 p.m. on Sunday, July 31st. The winner is gonna get an awesome prize. We’re still working on specifics, but it should be badass. So mark your calendars. All sports questions, with an emphasis on football, baseball, and basketball. Lots of great giveaways and specials. And yes, it will count in the JGTSI.