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Today’s column is about my bitterness towards Trivia Art, and how I am above shameless pandering. It was inspired when Art sent me an email telling me to eat a free cupcake above the fridge that he had gotten for free. I suddenly realized I was the person you give hand-me-down cupcakes to, which is a tough pill to swallow, even for “America’s Guest”. This column is very big of me, and an opportunity for you to appreciate how much integrity I have.
Today’s Quiz: Saved by the Bell

I scored an 8 out of 15, which is pretty good considering I watched like 2 episodes of that dumbass show. But people seem to like it, so let’s see how well you know the show Saved by the Bell. Post your score in the comments below.
Happy Birthday Tommy James
http://www.youtube.com/v/3C4HQQSz-K8
Crimson and Clover, by birthday boy Tommy James, has always been one of my favorite songs. James was the lead singer of the Shondells, who also had a hit with the song “I Think We’re Alone Now” (pre Tiffany). Funny story. When I was living in Hawaii, me and my friends used to always go to the restaurant where my girlfriend waited tables (Durty Jakes) for karaoke night. Me and a buddy of mine would sometimes do a duet of “I Think We’re Alone Now”, complete with us tumbling to ground and doing a Kid ‘n’ Play dance. Well, one night after we performed it, an older gentleman walked up to us and said, “I was in the band that did that song, and I have never seen it performed like that in my life.” The guy had been a member of the Shondells in the early days of the band. I asked him, “Did you do Crimson and Clover?” Sadly, no. He said that he had left the band before Crimson and Clover came out. It was the highlight of my music career until Eve said that “White boy got skills” after I dropped a few bars at an open mic at the 5 Spot about 6 years ago (true story.)
Government Alerting Public With “Old-Fashioned” PSAs
The government is going retro, trying to alert people to the dangers of swine flu in old fashioned PSAs like the one you see above, narrated by the same guy that narrated those films we had to watch in Driver’s Ed class about drinking and driving. “Dottie had a heart condition and she died” is one of my favorite lines ever uttered in a Public Service Announcement. Oh, and remember to get duct tape and plastic to guard against dirty bombs, and a gas mask to protect you from SARS.
Wednesday’s Quiz
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Today’s quiz is on plastic wrestling figures of the 1980s. I am ashamed to say that I only scored a 9 out of 14, including missing one that I freaking owned. A damn shame. Let me know how you do below in the comments.
