And the Band for Quizzo Bowl Is…


WELCOME TO MY FACE! That’s right, the city’s premiere hair metal cover band that set the world on fire in the early 1980s before being torn apart by drugs and alcohol and out of control egos is back together to tear the roof off of World Cafe Live on February 23rd at Quizzo Bowl IX. All of your favorite hits of the 1980s, from RATT to Poison to Def Leppard are going to come to life on February 23rd between rounds of America’s oldest and most prestigious Quizzo Bowl event. Look what the quiz dragged in!

JGT Power Rankings


Here are the power rankings as we head into 2013.

1. Steak Em Up (Bards). Still number 1, but they did finish 4th at the Bards on Thursday, as L. Ron crushed them. Great way to end the year.
2. Duane’s World (Black Sheep). Almost lost the number 2 spot, but they came from 12 down to win at the Sheep last Wednesday.
3. The Jams (Rendezvous). Darth Ern! Pete! Joe! Justin! The old Frank Clement’s crew played together last week and pulled off a big win at the Vous.
4. Why Can’t Us (Ugly American). A rapid climb up the charts, with two wins and a 2nd place finish in the past three weeks.
5. L. Ron Hubbard’s Diabetics (Bards). About time. They finally break out of their funk, missing only one question at a rousing defeat of Steak Em Up on Thursday night.
6. Bears Are Scared of Jazz Hands (O’Neals, UA). Two wins and a 2nd place finish in the past 3 weeks. This is the hottest this team has ever been. Can they keep it up?
7. Sidecardigans (Sidecar). Finally broke out of their funk a couple of weeks ago with a huge win at the Sidecar. Will they take their act on the road this week?
8. Madame Butterface (Rendezvous). A huge win for this franchise at the Christmas quiz a couple of weeks ago.
9. It’s Not Creepy if You Say it Right (Black Sheep). Always a contender at North Star, and looked to have a win locked up at the Sheep last week before a 4th round meltdown. Can they rebound from such a devastating loss?
10. 5 Finger Assprint (Sidecar). Sidecar regulars will need to take their act on the road to stay in the Top 10.

The rest of the Top 20.
11. Clown Question Bro
12. Flick My Bic
13. Interim Team Name
14. Happy Birthday to the Ground
15. Mysterious Mr. Mapother
16. Jitney Spears
17. StillManiacs
18. Hooter and Chuff
19. FFSF
20. Underground Bard

 

Stu Bykofsky Defends Blackface


Another Mummers Parade has come and gone, leaving those of us with a modicum of common sense and common decency both bewildered and embarrassed (I wrote a piece defending the Mummers a few years ago. I made some fair points, but after what I saw yesterday, I was wrong.)  The Mummers decided to really amp up the racism this year, and the result was embarrassing for the city. But Daily News writer Stu Bykofsky thinks we just lack a sense of humor if we don’t find blackface or mockery of Native Americans funny.

Out there in the twitverse – that’s not a typo – some donkey sees blackface in the Mummers Parade and – kazaam! – as many as nine people on a couple of different “platforms” are finding other forms of “racism” in the parade, drawing insipid conclusions from their aggressive ignorance.

In other words, Stu Bykofsky thinks it’s not only perfectly acceptable in 2013 to have a float called “Bringin’ Back Those Minstrel Days” in a downtown parade in one of America’s largest cities, complete with giant wooden depictions of blackface (seen below), but that those of us who don’t “get it” are ignorant. He continues.

If you’re offended, here’s a buck. Try to buy a sense of humor.

See, here’s the problem with your simple logic, Stu: there is a very hard and fast rule in comedy…if you’re going to say or do something making fun of a race that isn’t your own, IT BETTER BE FUNNY. That’s the social contract that anyone doing comedy has with their audience. You can say whatever you want when it comes to race, but it better be funny or the crowd will probably turn on you and you’re going to look like a total jackass. I’ve seen comedians walk both sides of that line, and it is remarkable to see the people who are good at it pull it off, to the degree that the people they’re making fun of are laughing their heads off. It is an amazing skill, one that very few comics are capable of. And it is cringeworthy when the others can’t make it work, and the crowd turns, and the comic is up there all alone, twisting in the wind because their joke was some idiotic, simple lampooning of race.

In other words, race and culture and class and America’s history of racial and social conflict are all on the table for comedy and satire in the Mummers Parade. All of it. But here is what is truly so offensive about the Mummers: they’re not funny. Mocking call centers in India, then confusing Native Americans with Indians…not funny. Mocking people by posting giant wooden caricatures of blackface…pathetic and simple. Why can’t the clowns be funny? Why can’t a string group as obviously talented as the Ferko’s (Who have finished in the top 5 a whopping 83 times) express themselves creatively without “bringin’ back” to life something the country pretty much agreed was overtly racist over 100 years ago? That doesn’t mean that these groups need to appeal to my personal aesthetic, or even anything close to it, but for the love of God is it too much to ask that they stop trying to appeal to Mississippi rednecks of the 1950s?

And don’t come after me for not appreciating Philly’s history and tradition. I love this city’s history and tradition. I run a freaking website about Philly’s history. But appreciating history doesn’t mean we have to keep repeating it. Blackface was wrong. There’s a reason it stopped being socially acceptable. And if a Mummers troupe in 2013 isn’t creative enough to do a production without incorporating it, then they shouldn’t be in a major parade in one of America’s great cities. It’s really that simple.

If you find blackface funny, or that skit above funny, you are quite simply anti-social. That humor is not funny. It’s simple and it’s lame. If you want to know why blackface isn’t funny, pick up a U.S. history book. If you still want to defend it, Stu, go right ahead. But just be aware that you’re on the other side of that line, the one where no one is laughing. You’re just twisting in the wind, joking about blackface in a room of people who think that you just don’t have a clue.

Johnny’s 12 Best Columns of 2012

Since this website is all about me you guys, I thought I should post some of the best things I’ve written this year for YOUR amusement. I’m such a giver. You’re welcome. In no particular order, here are my twelve best from 2012.

1. The Bizarre Case of the Ben Franklin Bust. How a $3 million Ben Franklin bust ended up in a dumpster in West Philly.

2. How Philly Comedians Handle Hecklers. Pretty fascinating interview with several Philly comedians after the Daniel Tosh heckler incident.

3. When Scoop Jardine Stood Me Up at the City Line Hilton. I have had more people tell me that they enjoyed this piece than anything else I have written in the past several years.

4. Whiskey Cures Asthmatic Canaries. Some of the hilarious things I found in an 1890s Philadelphia Almanac.

5. Five Plans that Could Have Changed Philadelphia Forever. What if we had gotten the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame? What if the Eagles had moved to Arizona? 5 things that came remarkably close to happening in Philly that would have changed the city forever.

6. Six Creative Marriage Proposals. Pretty self explanatory. The one at the end, involving dead bees, is pretty mindblowing.

7. Ridiculous Fantasies (and Practical Ideas) for Philly’s Abandoned Buildings. I spoke with a couple of architecture bloggers about what cool things could be done with the Divine Lorraine, USS United States, etc.

8. Interview with a North Korean Tourist. A very fascinating look at North Korea from a guy who’s been there several times. This was the most fascinating interview I did all year, but then again I’m pretty mesmerized by North Korea.

9. The Double Life and Strange Death of Phils Manager Arthur Irwin. This is one of the wildest stories you will ever read. When former Phillies manager Arthur Irwin committed suicide by jumping off a boat, his family in Boston discovered that he also had a family in New York, and vice versa.

10. The 1965 Proposals for a New Stadium, and Dome Proposals for the Vet. If you’re an architecture junkie, you’ll dig this one. There were some very interesting proposals for new stadiums in Philly that never got realized.

11. When Connie Mack had a Heckler Arrested. You think Philly fans are bad now? They were way worse in the 20s.

12. Searching for the Enemy. Don’t read this one unless you’re in the mood for a good cry. Seriously, I think it’s a pretty good piece but I can’t even read it because it will make me too sad.

 

Motown New Year’s Eve Party

Hey gang, just a heads up that Carl of Specific Jawns fame, Chip Chantry of  Chip Chantry fame, and myself are hosting the best New Year’s Eve party in Philadephia. We’ve got a lineup of honestly the best comedians in Philadelphia (including Phillies Funniest winners Doogie Horner and Tommy Pope and Jimmy Kimmel staff writer Luke Cunningham). Then after the comedy portion of the evening, we’ll be getting down to the sounds of Motown, as DJ HonkyTron will be spinning Motown hits until 1:30 a.m.

$50 covers the show, the music, food, and a 4-hour open bar. Our goal was to keep it cheap and fun, and it’s gonna be both. For more info check it out on facebook. We’re only selling tix beforehand, not at the door, and we’re only going to sell a limited number to keep this fairly intimate. We’re not looking to blow it out. We’re just looking to have a very cool crowd, cover our costs, and have a great time. So be sure to order your tix online. Ticket info is on the facebook invite. We did a NYE party last year and it was tremendous, and this year promises to be even better. Hope you can make it! If you have any questions feel free to shoot me a line at johnny (at) johnnygoodtimes.com.

The Final Quiz of 2012

It’s tonight! The final quiz of the year. If one of your New Year’s Resolutions was to play at least one JGT Quizzo in 2012, this is your last chance to achieve your goals. Goals are so important. You really need to do this for your own peace of mind. Furthermore, I’m giving away free french fries. Ugly American at 8 p.m. Bards at 10:15 p.m.

It’s an interesting quiz. The first round is a picture round, then a great 50/50 round, and I’ll tell you right now that the wild card round is a 2012 Year in Review round. And I know that Duane’s World won last night only because one guy on the team (Anthony) studied and it got him an answer they wouldn’t otherwise have gotten. Just throwing that out there. Oh, and no question of the week this week. Hope to see you tonight!