Just working on some archival stuff and came across this dandy of a photo. Hadn’t thought about that Satanic rock concert for a while. I need to see another one. Maybe an adventure for me and Ginger could be Satan rock.

Started to do this story for the Metro, but it didn’t really fit the feel of my column, so I scrapped for another one. But I thought you guys might still be interested, so I’m gonna post it on here.

There has been a firestorm of controversy surrounding Nadya Suleman, the out of work mother who recently gave birth to octuplets. But this isn’t the first controversy surrounding multiple births.

The Dionne septuplets were born in Ontario in 1934, and were the first quintuplets to survive infancy. At the ago of four months, they were made wards of the State, as the local government realized that they were worth a fortune. The state built them a house with a playground surrounded by a one way screen, so that tourists could see the five girls playing three times a day. About 6,000 people came daily to the observation gallery at Quintland, and watched the girls play as if they were monkeys in a zoo. Over 8 years, the quintuplets brought in about $51 million of tourist revenue to Ontario*, and attracted more visitors than the Canadian side of Niagara Falls. Their fame also made them popular spokepeople for various products, such as Karo Corn Syrup (Because who among us hasn’t wondered, as we scarfed down some pancakes, what brand of syrup quintuplets would use?)

Their parents, who had made a fortune off of the girls by selling souvenirs, regained custody when the girls were ten. They took them on tour, and regularly had them all dress the same, even when they were in their teens. When the girls turned 18, they left the family home and rarely spoke with their parents again.

In 1998, the surviving three Dionnes, who were living near poverty, sued Ontario for million in the tourism revenues they generated (and saw very little of) in the 1930s and 1940s and were awarded $4 million dollars.

• RELATED: You can find lots more info on the Quints here.
• RELATED: Story about them written in the New York Times in 1998.

*The city is looking for ways to reduce the deficit. How about a quintuplet playground?

The Saint Paul Saints, a minor league baseball team I read about recently in an excellent book called Slouching Toward Fargo, had a special promotion last week in honor of National Tap Dance Day. It was bobblefoot day, a not so subtle reference to something that happened at the nearby Minneapolis airport. The team said that the it was a “tribute to all their toe-tapping friends and fans from around the nation who may ever have set foot in Minneapolis-St. Paul… even for just a change of planes.” This is not to be confused with the Larry Craig Action figure.

This was pointed out by alert reader Phil: someone changed the movie that Mark Linn-Baker starred in with Peter O’Toole on Linn-Bakers wiki page, apparently in an effort for some teams to get it wrong! According to the wikihistory, first they posted the movie as Super Fuzz, then Hot Fuzz, and now Carbon Copy (none of which are correct). This is one of the most devious (yet somewhat admirable) attempts I have ever seen to gain 5 points over your enemies. These changes were made today, so this was no accident. Is Super Fuzz, followed by Hot Fuzz, followed by Carbon Copy, some sort of code to mankind? What will the Johnny Goodtimes Ethics Committee have to say about this? Will the culprit reveal themselves at quizzo, or are they in the lab, preparing more diabolical stunts to ensure victory and a $25 gift certificate?Stay tuned.

• The guillotine was invented because it was supposedly the most humane way to kill people. However, there are many people who believe that the mind stays alive for about about 30 seconds after it leaves the body, and that during the French Revolution, people would tell their friends that they would blink after their head came off if they were still conscious, and then did so. They can’t talk, of course, because they have no vocal cords.
• A doctor in Cleveland (typical) performed a head transplant on a monkey a few years ago, and wants to do the same to humans. He is going to start by trading my head with George Clooneys. Now I bet you’re sorry you blew me off this weekend, girl!
• Speaking of chicks, have you heard the story of Mike the Headless Chicken? If not, it is well worth reading. A guy cut a chicken’s head off but the chicken lived for another year and a half. And the Mike the Headless Chicken Festival was just this past weekend! It was probably fun, but I doubt it was an Intercourse Rhubarb Festival Bake off Extravaganza (photos and story coming manana.)

Courtesy of the BBC. And no, we WON’T “grow up”.

On Saturday, the Philly City League is hosting a Rock Paper Scissors Tourney at Campbell’s Field in Camden Saturday at 3 p.m. Here are more details. Free beer from 4-6 p.m. Baseball, beer, and rock paper scissors. Doesn’t get much better than that.

Speaking of beer, the annual goat races at Sly Fox are this weekend. I went last year, and it was a blast. I highly suggest it. Also, does anyone know where I can get a goat to be a competitor? No, seriously. Does anyone know where I can get a goat?

• Don’t you hate it when you’re doing blow with three transvestite hookers, and all of a sudden things get weird?
• The Jimi Hendrix sex tape has been released, and it has people wondering: how will this affect his career?
• The BBC asks, Does sex addiction exist? Absolutely. Why, just the other day, I was thinking to myself, “Man, I really need to stop having all of this sex. It is completely out of control how much nonstop sex I am having all of the time. I must be some sort of addict. Alas, I guess this is the price I must pay for being so damn irresistable.” (Sigh).