It’s been a fun Olympics, from watching Phelps swim to Bolt run to American swimmers in brawls at gas stations. But there are ways to make it even better. And a big part of that is getting rid of a bunch of worthless shit events in the Olympics and replacing them with things that are cool. I mean, seriously, an some 60 year old hedge fund manager from London who can make his sailboat go fast gets the same medal that Bolt and Phelps get? Ridiculous. Somebody who makes a horse stand still gets a gold medal? Absurd. Here then, are some sports, that should be taken out and what they should be replaced with.
TAKE OUT-Sailing. Nobody cares. Seriously.
PUT IN-Breakdancing. Have you ever been to Battery Park and not seen a crowd gather around the breakdancers? People love breakdancing, and those dudes are sure as hell athletes (unlike sailors. Sailors!) This came to me when watching the floor routine the other night. Some moves very similar to breakdancing, but breakdancing has much better music.
TAKE OUT-Dressage. Good Lord. Nothing more captivating on TV than watching a horse not move.
PUT IN- Horse diving. Who wouldn’t watch this?
TAKE OUT- Golf. I mean, seriously, why did they add this? “Gee whiz, what could we do to make the Olympics more boring? Oh I know, we’ll add golf!”
PUT IN- American Football. Now we can settle it once and for all: who’s better at football, us or Equatorial Guinea?
I am pretty sure that 100% of you agree with all of those points above. Because they’re right.
Great new shirt at Shibe I think some of you guys will be interested in. The new Franklin Field shirt just got released yesterday and it’s terrific. The design was done by Philly artist Jon Billett. As with all order on the site, you can get free shipping by using the code “quizzo”.
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Alright, none of our typical twice-a-weekers played earlier this week, and I gotta start preparing for Sunday, so only one quiz this week. It’s a good one. Action starts at Lo Spiedo at 5:30 p.m., as Carl B Sure hosts on what is a rare decent day outside in this swampy summer. On to the Vous at 6:15 p.m. You know what it is. Hope to see ya tonight!
UPDATE: Gotta cancel at Founding Fathers tonight. Their electric is out. Bummer. Hope you guys can play tmrw at Industry (or if you arrive early, the Bards).
We got a wild card team in last night. Can your team join the mix tonight? Action starts at O’Neals at 8 p.m., where I’ll be hosting. Carl B Sure hosts at Alla Spina at 8 p.m. as well. On to City Tap House at 10:15, where we’ll be under the stars. Some great opportunities to get a win and, with it, an invite. Hope to see ya tonight!
Action starts at Sidecar tonight at 9:30. Jitney will not be there tonight, so it’s anybody’s ballgame. If you are on the outside looking in, this is a great shot of getting a win. Hope to see ya tonight!
This is it, folks. If your team is on the outside looking in, I would highly encourage you to get out tonight. Your best bet for a win is gonna be at Industry at 6:30 p.m. You know the routine: great food, great service, happy hour drinks. On to Bards at 9:15. It’s packed almost every week, so you might wanna get there early. Carl will be hosting tonight.
As for the Invitational, I will be sending out invites on Sunday. If you need a few points, you can earn some on facebook by posting a pic of you in the water or on a boat. Or you can come out tonight and earn a win. Next week will be wild card week, where teams that win will earn an automatic invite to the Big Event, held on the 21st at Alla Spina at 5:30.
Expect a few questions inspired by the Olympics, (though not many actual Olympics questions).
Quizzo tonight begins at the Comcast Center, the tallest and most luxurious building in the city. BYO Bottle Service will make every guest at the quiz feel like a VIP (Vogue Intellectual Passionate). Between rounds, DJs from Miami and Ibiza will be spinning all of the latest club jams. Johnny Goodtimes’s contacts in the dance club scene are going to really pay off here.
On to Alla Spina, where DJ Carl B Sure will be asking questions that are TOOTO (totally out of the ordinary). Carl B is a young quizzo impresario who is looking to transform Philadelphia’s quizzo scene. 8 p.m. until sunrise.
Johnny returns to O’Neals, where you may notice just how crystal clear his voice will be as he asks questions; it’s no wonder, his speakers were made by Finnish soundsmiths. That starts at 8 p.m. and goes until you think you can’t possibly dance to a another Skrillex song; at which point Johnny will put on another Skrillex song and you’ll find a second gear you never knew you had.
AFTERPARTY! You heard me, girls. What’s a party without an afterparty? We’ll be at the City Tap House at 10:15, and we’ll be outdoors. Thanks to Johnny’s high level contacts in the quizzo world, there are going to be some of the most carefully cultivated questions you’ve ever heard in your life. But hey: that’s all part of the TOOTO experience.
Wait, how do we know this is going to work? I can’t explain that due to nondisclosure agreements, but trust you me, tonight’s quiz will have the LATEST and the GREATEST of everything. It’s going to be phenomenal.
We’re back in business tonight, with quizzes at Industry (6:30) and Bards (9:15), with intermission being me getting tacos at my favorite food truck in the city, Tacos el Rodeo at 10th and Washington (8:40). This quiz played fairly easy last night, so I expect some high scores tonight.
