Special Ed Ed was barely able to hold off defending champs Vandolay Industries at Doc Watson’s Pub on Monday. Ed had a 16 point lead going into the last round, but the Industries were able to fight off a fierce buzz and fell by only by a point, 90-89. The Dildogs pulled off an almost impossible feat in Round Three, getting nine wrong-IN THE TRUE/FALSE ROUND! According to my calculations, the odds aginst that happening are 512-1.

The Atari Monkeys pulled past the Nation of Quizlam to win at Nick’s Roast Beef on Wednesday night. Two of the team’s players tested positive for steroids, but Johnny’s steroid policy was inspired by Major League Baseball’s. “Everybody is concentrating on the negative. I’m impressed that 50% of the winning team isn’t on steroids. Why isn’t anyone talking about that?” said Johnny.

The Bloody Noses, a team of local doctors “tying one on” to relieve the stress of having to perform open heart surgery in a few hours, were able to stagger to a 98-93 win over Special Ed Ed in the first ever Quizzo at Doc Watson’s. “You know,” said Dr. Chuckie Needlebump (in photo, top right) “This is my first ever heart surgery. So to go into it with not only a buzz, but also a win, gives me the relaxation and confidence I’ll need to perform so delicate a procedure.”

Livin’ Feelin’ stayed alive on Wednesday at Nick’s, blowing out the competiton, making the Nation of Quizlam look more like a Banana Republic of morons. Actually, the Nation was able to finish second, edging out Fo’ Quizzel My Nizzel and overcoming a pathetic display by the defending champion Monkey Test-EZ, who couldn’t even crack 70. I will have an absolutely crazy story about last weeks quizzo on the website in a few days, so stay tuned.

The Monkey Test-EZ were able to hold off the Thundercats-Hoe, The Nation of Quizlam, and Fo’ Quizzel My Nizzel to win the Johnny Goodtimes Quizzo Spectacular at the place it all began, Nick’s Roast Beef. The Monkeys were able to win despite having “Extra Baggage” Bagley (pictured at far right), who has an IQ that hovers around 30.

Murda Was the Case at Nick’s Roast Beef Wednesday night, as Fo’ Quizzel My Nizzel killed Money For Nothing in Round Four, scoring a miraculous come from behind victory. It was a win that Fo’ Quizzel fans will cherish forever as their team scored fifty points in round five. A new standard was set, as they became the first team to ever go from worst to first in the final round, overcoming 50-38 lead held by Money for Nothing. But Money for Nothing choked in the final round, and don’t think Fo’ Quizzel sharpshooter Reggie Miller let them forget it. The Nation of Quizlam finished third with 84, O’Neals champion Team Hater finished a disappointing fourth with 81, and Happy Mommy was fifth with 80.

The Jams became the first team to three-peat, holding off Special Ed Ed and Satan’s Penis (The Johnny Goodtimes Ethics Committee is still deciding whether to impose sanctions on Satan’s Penis for poor taste). The Jams have been all but unbeatable for the last two months, winning five of the last six contests.

The summer was warm for most people in Philly, but not for Hi Ho Silver, who were on a cold streak of Siberian proportions. That ended last night, as they were able to hold off the Nation of Quizlam by a 72-67 score. The Nation had finished last a week before, but made some roster changes and should be a force to reckon with in the future.

One member of Deweey Cheatum and Howe (whose name I won’t mention-you’ll never guess) screamed and moaned when I announced that the second round would be baseball, then her team got a perfect score that round. But that was not enough to hold off the Jams, who came from behind to knock off DC and H, 88-85. This was the Jams second straight win, and fourth in the last five. The cute girls who played last week were no-shows, leaving Johnny bitter and disillusioned.

The Blow Monkeys looked all but dead trailing Easy Money 43-20 early in the evening. But then the Monkeys hit their stride and spanked the field on their way to 73 points.