Randy Watson and Sexual Chocolate won at Doc Watson’s on Monday night, defeating the Village Idiots, 86-78. Watson et al then used the opportunity to campaign for their favorite candidate in the upcoming election, Alf Landon. “Listen, this Roosevelt character is running the country right into the ground,” said Randy. “Alf is a guy we can trust to get the job done.” Added Sexual Chocolate, “Yeah, Fireside Chats are for hosebags. And what’s the deal with this ‘New Deal’? It’ll never work.”

Beaker serves as lab assissant for what scientist?

Three points short last week. Three teams scored 100, one scored 99, and one 98. I’m going to give you guys one more week to make me look like Ric Flair. Five 100 point games total required over the course of the week.

The Decrepid Monkey Skeleton (above, below) was able to cook the Cook the MCs Like a Pound of Bacon like a pound of bacon, 98-84 at Doc Watson’s on Monday.

This short story master, who wrote The Devil’s Dictionary, disappeared in Mexico in 1913.

After coming from behind to win quizzo at Doc Watson’s on Monday night, the Nuns were dealt a swift blow, when an unidentified man threw a chair and hit them in the nose. No one is sure who this man is, but rumor has it he plays baseball. Well, the good news is, he’s certainly not brazen enough to strike again, not with heightened security at all JGT events.

Sorry gang, but my photoshop guy got a real job, so it’s hard to get these done properly on Friday. I’ll try to learn photoshop, but keep in mind, i’m really dumb.

Here’s a real strange site dedicated to Martha Stewart.

Johnny will be performing stand up at the Laff House on Friday, September 17th at 6:00 p.m. The Laff House is located at 221 South Street. Tickets are $10 cheap, and 30 cents out of every dollar you spend goes towards the “Johnny’s Kids Foundation”, a charity Johnny set up to help Gavril Princip’s great-grandchildren overcome the ostracism felt at school because their great-grandad killed Franz Ferdinand*.

*A quick review of the records shows that no such Foundation exists

What’s your pirate name?