Fox is going to have a new reality show called “Who’s Your Daddy?” For more details of this awful show, read here. Sadly, it doesn’t involve Big Daddy Kane (Johnny’s favorite lyricist of the 1980’s, by the way.) Nor does it involve Robert Young. (Fans of mid 1950s television are laughing their heads off right now.)

This is an article by someone who apparently thinks that Bob Jones University has gotten a little too liberal. (BJU is the school where, when W spoke there in 2000, still did not allow interracial dating.) Check out #5, “Worldliness promoted.” I really can’t tell if this person is being a smart-ass or is completely out of their mind (i.e. eye shadow, Shakespeare, and opera are all evil).

What precedent was set by Emilio Marcos Palma’s birth on January 7, 1978?

Ken Jennings is Our B**** was able to come away with a victory at Doc’s on Monday. The team, which has been accused of kidnapping Ken Jennings shortly after his historic streak ended, locking him in their basement and making him, well, their b****, has denied all charges. “Did we put a gag ball in his mouth shortly after he lost to Nancy Zerg?” asked team member Brent “Switchblade” Sampson. “Yes. The photographs prove it. But we let him go shortly after that. Do you really think I could keep a guy with that cute of a smile in my basement for days on end, subsisting on nothing but water and scraps, begging for mercy as we mentally, physically, and spiritually abused him, after he costed us big money by not winning 75 in a row? I think not.”

Here’s the standings including the contests played from 12/5-12/9. (Stories about this week’s contests forthcoming.)

Rank	Team	Bar	Wins
1	Team Hater	O’Neals	22
2	The Goats	The Bards	21
3	Western Omelette	Bards	20
4	S2	O’Neals	19
5	Missing Heads	Black Sheep	17
6	Losers Get Lucky	Doc’s	13
7	Broad Street Bullies	Locust Rendezvous	12
T-8	WTF	Black Sheep	12
T-8	Jams	Locust	12
10	Yo-Ern	Locust	9

Barry Bonds’s minor league baseball card. This should dispel any steroid rumors.

Finally, your chance to learn more about Tony! Toni! Tone!

Why do we use the word “dude”? A linguist explains.

After beating Ken Jennings on Jeopardy on November 30th, how much money did Nancy Zerg finish with in her first defense of her title on December 1st?

When Johnny’s camera crapped out on Monday night, he had to borrow one from a foreigner who told Johnny he would e-mail the photo to Johnny. It has still not been received. There are some who might say that this foreigner was as cold as ice, and indeed this behavior got Johnny hot-blooded. It was urgent that he send Johnny the photo, but that didn’t happen. This had never happened before. It felt like the first time. Oh well, one of the guys that was on the Doc’s team also won at the Dog, so you can look at that photo.