Ken Jennings is Our B**** Wins at Doc’s

Ken Jennings is Our B**** was able to come away with a victory at Doc’s on Monday. The team, which has been accused of kidnapping Ken Jennings shortly after his historic streak ended, locking him in their basement and making him, well, their b****, has denied all charges. “Did we put a gag ball in his mouth shortly after he lost to Nancy Zerg?” asked team member Brent “Switchblade” Sampson. “Yes. The photographs prove it. But we let him go shortly after that. Do you really think I could keep a guy with that cute of a smile in my basement for days on end, subsisting on nothing but water and scraps, begging for mercy as we mentally, physically, and spiritually abused him, after he costed us big money by not winning 75 in a row? I think not.”