Category: Uncategorized

Hey There Folks! It’s Fastball Pitcher Bob Gutierrez!


Attention local business people. For what it’s worth, anything you advertise featuring Fastball Pitcher Bob Gutierrez I will promote the living s*** out of, regardless if I’m involved or not. There is a Narragansett Cream Ale launch party Thursday at 7 at Bar on 13th and Sansom (I am not involved with this, but am promoting it. See how that works?). Go to it. Tell em Fastball Bob sent ya. Then go to quizzo at the Bards. Bring Fastball Bob.

An Open Letter From Chip Chantry Regarding His Domination of Us

As I write this letter, I am gazing upon the current standings of Johnny Goodtimes’s March Madness Bracket-Tacular. It did not take very long for me to find my name, as it is ON TOP OF THE LIST. That’s right- my bracket (BINGO SUPERNUEVA, named after the Spanish cousin of the world’s greatest comedian) is tied for FIRST PLACE.

Now, I understand that this is not the end of the tournament. I am aware that the standings change as new games are played. And I know that this glory may fade. However, at this very moment, I AM WINNING.

Why am I pointing this out? Am I that boastful? Do I take competition that seriously? Do I pride myself as one of the sharpest sports minds in the city of Philadelphia? NO! Quite the contrary! I know nothing about college basketball! I don’t think I have ever watched a complete game. I mean, I saw Hoosiers when I was ten, and that’s about the extent of it. And that’s about high school basketball! At least I think it is! I don’t know!

So the purpose of this letter is not to tell you how smart or well-versed I am in college basketball. Because I’m obviously not! This letter is to point out how awful and pathetic all of you must be to be losing to me. And quite frankly, I’m an idiot! It took me three minutes to fill out the bracket. And the only reason it took so long was because I was eating a PB&J, and I dripped some jam on my keyboard and had to clean it.

Here’s how little I know about this subject. I picked Syracuse to win it all… SYRACUSE! And that was after that one guy got kicked off the team for stealing another team’s goat mascot, or whatever he did. Actually, I think that was Greg Brady that did that. I don’t even know what happened! AND I’M IN FIRST PLACE!!!

Why did I pick Syracuse? Because I heard some people babbling about it on twitter. So I figured, “Oh, they must be good!” I didn’t even bother to read the content of the tweets! 140 characters was too much for me to read about a topic I care so little about! (By the way, follow me on twitter at @ChipChantry .)

Why did I pick Kansas to go to the Elite 8 (that’s what it’s called, right?)? Because my friend, Ken Carfagno, wore a Kansas jersey all the time in 7th grade. That was in 1990. That’s how up on college basketball I am. Are you starting to realize how terrible your brackets are? Is it sinking in yet? You are losing to an imbecile!

Let’s put this in perspective. Let’s say a local club is having a drag queen night. And there is a prize for the best act. And former Senator Rick Santorum enters the contest, shows up in a sweater vest and slacks, and reads some of his favorite bible verses. And then he wins the contest. Can you imagine how terrible those drag queens must have been to lose out to that maniac? Of course you could imagine! Because YOU are those drag queens, and I AM RICK SANTORUM!

OK, I’d like to retract the part where I compare myself to Rick Santorum. But I think you get the gist of it: I know nothing about NCAA basketball, which means you know even less.

You should all be ashamed of yourselves. All 90+ of you. What a group of pathetic, incompetent losers.

Oh, and one more thing: LONG LIVE STEAK EM UP!!! I can relate to that team. Because just like me, they are winners.

See you all in heck.

Chip Chantry

Famous comedian, current leader of JGT’s Bracket-Tacular.

Animal Quizzo at UA and Bards Tonight

We’ve been rocking lately at these two spots. Let’s keep it going tonight. We start at the Ugly American at 8 p.m. Onto the Bards at 10:15 p.m. Both spots offer $2 Lagers. That’s tough to beat. A very interesting animals quiz. It’s not easy. No 100 point scorers last night, and an 89 won at Black Sheep. Can you crack 100 and get the two bonus points in the JGTSI? We’ll find out tonight. And in case you missed it yesterday, below are a few things going on right now.

You can read my latest for Philly mag here, on Creative Wedding Proposals.

Also wrote a piece on PSH about the greatest gambling scandal in Phillies history. Pretty interesting story.

And be sure to vote in Round Two of Philly’s Most Infuriating.

And be sure to follow me on twitter and facebook.

Skiing Squirrels Tonight at Quizzo!


Ok, so not really, but I wanted to post some funny animal videos to get you in the mood for quizzo tonight. We start at O’Neals at 8 p.m. I honestly don’t think we’ve ever had a stretch at any bar where there’s been this much parity. We’ve had 7 different winners in the past 7 weeks, and 10 different winners in the past 11 weeks. The first prize is a $50 gift cert, so the fact that it’s a total toss up each and every week should be inspiration enough to come on out tonight. On to the City Tap House. Things have been slow lately, meaning that a $100 gift certificate is completely up for grabs. Action starts at 10:15 p.m. in the back. All questions are animal related. Hope to see ya tonight!

Over $150 Worth of Prizes in the 8th Annual JGT Bracket-tacular

It’s about that time, folks. Time for the 8th annual JGT Bracket-tacular. It’s free to enter, and I’ve got over $150 worth of prizes for the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 50th place finishers, from gift certs to concert tickets. Just go here, and if you haven’t already sign up for Yahoo (takes like 2 minutes). Then enter your picks before Thursday at noon, and we’ll be keeping tabs on scores after each round. Oh, and there is a bonus point given whenever you pick a lower seed, so don’t hesitate to pick upsets.

And while we’re talking brackets, be sure to vote for who your least favorite Philly athlete of all-time is. Voting for first round matchups has begun on the Philly Sports History facebook page.

Spring Invitational Begins Tonight

We kick it off at North Star at 7 p.m. Name that Tune for free beers and concert tickets, as well as half-off all mussels and hummus. On to the Sidecar at 9:15 p.m. They had a minor scare yesterday, but everything is A-Ok and we are in business as usual.

Tonight also marks the kickoff of our 2nd Annual Spring Invitational. I’ll be keeping track of points for the next 8 weeks, with a wild card week at the end. The Top 15 teams will qualify for the Invitational. More details coming soon. Also, I will have our annual Bracket-tacular up later this afternoon.

VOTE: Music Round Tonight?



I’ve had a lot of music rounds this past week, and I gotta say…it serves as a pretty good equalizer. Pretty much every quiz has had like 5 or 6 teams within one question heading into the final round. So I’m leaving it up to you guys. Have you had enough music, or are you wanting more? Remember, if you play on Monday, this will affect you too.

As for tonight, we kick it off at Ugly American at 8 p.m. We move to the Bards at 10:15 p.m. Both spots have been rocking lately. Hope to see ya tonight!