O’NEALS

1. We Got Nothin’ 100
2. Turkish Babies Can Fly 93
3. Young Old and Restless 93
4. Are You Calling My Friend Fat…Tuesday? 66
5. 4 teams tied at 64

BARDS

1. Narcotyzing Dysfnktion 111
2. Sofa Kingdom 91
3. Western Omelette 87
4. Laissez Les Bon Temps Rouler 76
5. I’d Rather Have a Bottle in Front of Me…66

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

1. The Jams 104
2. But My Mom Says I’m Cool 83
3. This is Not a Bus 82
4. Dripping Pus 73
5. Puffy Shirts 72

BLACK SHEEP

1. Duane’s World 116
2. The Western Kingdom 96
3. Fine Young Cannibals 95
4. How’s My Sloppy Seconds 89
5. Satan’s Minions 77

GOOD DOG

1. Fort Awesome 100
2. Dork Sided 96
3. Mitt Pulls Out Early 90
4. The Lawn Wranglers 86
5. Sadma 67

BARDS

1. Hurtin Bombs 110
2. Sofa Kingdom 110
3. Call Me Mint Jelly Cause I’m On the Lamb 105
4. Lamda Lamda Lamda 103
5. You Can’t Really Dust For Vomit 101

O’NEALS

1. Dorksided 98
2. Suspicious MInds 83
3. Young Old and Restless 79
4. Cornbread Mafia 78
5. Close Enough For Gov’t Work 75

BARDS

1. Sofa Kingdom 105
2. Western Omelette 100
3. Wayne Enterprises 74
4. Only 2 Players 69
5. Herpagonnasyphilis 42

LOCUST RENDZVOUS

1. This is Not a Bus 100
2. River of Rocks 95
3. The Jams 91
4. Noah Scuse 83
5. Corn Speckled Mud Snakes 77

BLACK SHEEP

1. Catdog 91
2. Duane’s Minions 80
3. Herve Villechaize 80
4. Fine Young Cannibals 76
5. Double Tree Treats 76

GOOD DOG

1. Beauty School Dropout 91
2. Coconut Crunch & Jelly 51
3. Hungry Hungry Hippos 51
4. The Underachievers 51
5. Man Boobs 48

BARDS

1. Western Omelette 106
2. Sofa Kingdom 93
3. The Duke Cycle 92
4. Sun Never Sweats 91
5. Hurtin Bombs 86

O’NEALS

1. Young Old and Restless 90
2. I Got Nothin’ 87
3. Heath Ledger is Dead, WHat Now? 76
4. Too Lazy For Quizzo 68
5. Joseph Stalin 55

BARDS

1. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion 104
2. Sofa Kingdom 99
3. Thanks for Taking One Hand… 83
4. Western Omelette 69

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

1. Autopsy Report: Broke Back (aka Champs) 97
2. The Memoirs of Autobiography 83
3. They’ve Closed the Ledger on Heath 81
4. Project Runaway 60
5. Hoop Hoop 60

BLACK SHEEP

1. Duane’s Satans 100
2. Herve Villechaize 87
3. The Aussie is Down Under 86
4. Batman Killed Heath Ledger 78
5. Weapons of Ass Destruction 70

GOOD DOG

1. Ginger Puts Asses in the Seats 76
2. The Axis of Evil Knieval 72
3. Fort Awesome 65
4. Heavenly Jewish Mother 62
5. Bring Down the Buzzkills 59

BARDS

1. Western Omelette 103
2. We Don’t Like Monday 90
3. Hurtin Bombs 79
4. Sofa Kingdom 79
5. Brain Hammer 77

A weird, wild week on the quizzo circuit, as you see below. No big surprises at O’Neals, but the Bards saw one of our quietest days ever, as only four teams played. Even still, the Kingdom fell to the Funktion. The Champs returned to the Vous, and pulled off an impressive come from behind victory, as the Jams finished third. No big surprises at the Black Sheep, but at the Good Dog, the Axis of Evil Knieval faded in the final round and lost to a team consisting of Steve O. and…well, nobody. Saving the weirdest for last, the Western Omelette only scored 69 points on Tuesday night at the Bards, but on Thursday they scored 55 in the last round to score a blowout victory two days after finishing last. Perennial favorites the Kingdom and the Bombs tied for a distant 3rd. 23 points is considered to be the most the Kingdom has ever lost by. One final note: I think we set a new record on team name topics, as at least 10 teams names had something to do with Heath Ledger.

O’NEALS

1. Young, the Old and the Restless 90
2. Cornbread Mafia 89
3. Does the Speed Round Involve Meth? 88
4. I Got Nothin’ 83
5. Dork Sided 82

BARDS

1. Sofa Kingdom 115
2. Western Omelette 107
3. Hurtin Bombs 95
4. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion 92
5. Obama’s Not Half Bad 86

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

1. The Jams 100
2. This Is Not a Bus 96
3. The Marcie Salad is People 84
4. Oprah’s Book Club 80
5. If She Were a Tub, I’d Caulk Her 79

BLACK SHEEP

1. Duane’s Satans 91
2. Fine Young Cannibals 86
3. Oops I Lost My Kids Again 81
4. Philly Hardcore 77
5. Baron Munchausen 75

GOOD DOG

1. The Axis of Evil Knieval 101
2. Fort Awesome 90
3. Grandma Ashlie 89
4. Crusaders 84
5. The double dot Fa-Chinas 80

BARDS

1. Sofa Kingdom 103
2. Space Toilet 2: Electric Boogaloo 92
3. Hurtin Bombs 88
4. Western Omelette 87
5. Brokeback Mountain 2: The TO and Romo Story 76

After a week full of upsets, the universe returned to normal this week, with the favored teams winning every single quizzo. But we did have some real tight contests, and one of the biggest shootouts in recent memory at the Bards. This is Not a Bus is the first team in a long time to consistently give the Jams fits. Hopefully next week will bring some more surprises. One surprise we had this week was the guy above, the loudest, most obnoxious player we’ve probably ever had to deal with. In the opening rounds, every time his team got one right, he would holler out, “Yeah M***** F******!!!” at the top of his lungs. Fortunately, as the game progressed and his team slipped further and further behind, the yells came at longer intervals.

O’NEALS

1. Young, the Old and the Restless 107
2. History’s Greatest Monster 99
3. Dork Sided 76
4. I Got Nothin’ 74
5. Cornbread Mafia 67

BARDS

1. Gang Bang Mechanics 104
2. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion 103
3. Hurtin Bombs 102
4. Sofa Kingdom 97
5. But Why is the Rum Gone 94

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

1. Anchors Away! (aka the Jams) 110
2. River of Rocks 102
3. 1022 101
4. Ms. Thangs 97
5. Snuffaluphagus Mindf*** 92

BLACK SHEEP

1. A Map of Hawaii 102
2. Duane’s World 99
3. Weapons of Ass Destruction 97
4. Naptown Hustlers 95
5. Baron Munchausen 94

GOOD DOG

1. Fort Awesome 79
2. No Talent Ass Clowns 71
3. L. Ron Hubbard’s Diabetics 70
4. Sarcastics 68
5. My Girlfriend Can’t Wrestle 68

BARDS

1. Sofa Kingdom 104
2. Hurtin Bombs 95
3. Ginger Kids 77
4. Nigel Tufnel’s Clam Caravan 76
5. Gay Divorcees 69

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

1. This is Not a Bus 112
2. People:The San Francisco Treat (aka the Jams) 99
3. Les Quizerables 97
4. Struttin’ Your Mummer 91
5. 1022 82

BLACK SHEEP

1. Herve Villechaize 101
2. Cracked Eggheads 89
3. Serenity Now 87
4. Darsh 86
5. Always Bet on Black 85

GOOD DOG

1. The Lawn Wranglers 79
2. I’lll Have the Soup and the Quiche 78
3. The Beagles 70
4. 3 1/2 Jews 69
5. Devin Does Dallas 61

BARDS

1. Chuck Norris is a Viable Running Mate 106
2. Sofa Kingdom 95
3. Chin Omelette 93
4. My Mom Made Me an Ugly Quilt 88
5. I Caucus WIth My Pants Around My Ankles 85

O’NEALS

1. Altar Boys 95
2. 8 Maids a MIlkin’ 87
3. Guiness Snout 85
4. Cornbread Mafia 85
5. Young Old and Restless 80

BARDS

1. The Hurtin Bombs 112
2. Sofa Kingdom 92
3. Western Omelette 91
4. Alycia Lane is a Prostitute 75
5. Prince Papa of Peace 72

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

1. Zooey 101 Flunked Sex Ed 101 (aka Jams) 95
2. Bzzz Beep Boop Bop 94
3. 1022 84
4. Crazy NOS 81
5. Leather Cheerios 66

BLACK SHEEP

1. Duane’s World 111
2. Santa’s MInions 107
3. What’s With the Crowd 101
4. 3:21 101
5. Zoey 102: Sex Ed For Blondes 89
6. But My Mom Says I’m Cool 89

GOOD DOG

1. L. Ron Hubbard’s Diabetics 95
2. MAGMA 94
3. Ask Google 77
4. If God Gives You Lemons, Get a New God 67
5. Papy Chulo 62

BARDS

1. Christmas Ape Goes to Summer Camp 90
2. Third Times the Charm 87
3. Sand From the Beach 79
4. 4 Heebs & a Clueless Catholic 72
5. Black Eyed Dyke Cops 65

O’NEALS

1. Bob Lablaw Law Blog 102
2. Young, the Old, the Restless 77
3. Double Guatanamo 76
4. We Heart Porn 65
5. I Got Nothin’ 63

BARDS

1. Sofa Kingdom 99
2. Hurtin Bombs 98
3. What Happened to that Girl From Small Wonder? 96
4. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion 94
5. Chin Omelette 88

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

1. River of Rocks 103
2. Jams (aka Ike Turner-Rolling on the River Styx) 99
3. A.S.S. 83
4. Dave’s Apartment 65
5. Team Patrino 57

BLACK SHEEP

1. BBD 108
2. This Is Not a Bus 99
3. Baron Munchausen and his Amazing Periodic Table 92
4. Fine Young Cannibals 81
5. The Monroe Doctrine 79

GOOD DOG

1. Guantanamo 72
2. Axis of Evil Knieval 71
3. Bring PB & J Back 70
4. Terms of Endearment vs. Mystic Pizza 52
5. Nasty Weiners 50

BARDS

1. *Western Omelette 84
2. *Sofa Kingdom 84
3. Hurtin Bombs 81
4. Thump and Bump 65
5. Team Fun! 64

*Went to tie breaker question: “In what year was Warren Moon born?” Kingdom guessed 1960, Omelette guessed 1957. The correct answer was 1956. Omelette pulled off the upset.

O’NEALS

1. Dork Sided 90
2. Team Syzlak 80
3. Cornbread Mafia 79
4. Pierre’s Organized Crime 79
5. Young, Old, and Restless 73

BARDS

1. Sofa Kingdom 104
2. Radically Inactive 99
3. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion 91
4. Lou Diamond Phillips 71
5. Poetry in a Pint 44

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

1. The Jams 100
2. Team Name 94
3. G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S 83
4. 1022 78
5. John Ashcroft’s Waterboarders 75

BLACK SHEEP

1. Duane’s World 106
2. Where is Katherine? 94
3. But My Mom Says I’m Kool 87
4. Your Parents Must Be Proud 87
5. Catdog 84

GOOD DOG

1. No Talent Ass Clowns 79
2. Tallstones 69
3. Approaching Alarm 65
4. You’re Crumbelivable 63
5. Team Jared 62

BARDS

1. Sofa Kingdom 104*
2. Hurtin Bombs 104*
3. Sea of Bad Poetry and Retarded Sexuality 93
4. Tony Romo? Tony Homo 86
5. No Means Yes, Yes Means Twice 82

*Sofa Kingdom won in overtime. Question was, “In what year was Clark Gable born?’ Bombs said 1903, Kingdom said 1902. The answer was 1901.