This video may very well change your life. The insanity begins at around the 2 minute mark, and builds to a crescendo in the final minute that included drinking, humping, and moonwalking.

There was a great article on Pat Robertson’s website that I think you might enjoy. In fact, I know you will enjoy it. It is awesome. Kimberly Daniels reports:

The danger of Halloween is not in the scary things we see but in the secret, wicked, cruel activities that go on behind the scenes. These activities include:

• Sex with demons
• Orgies between animals and humans
• Animal and human sacrifices
• Sacrificing babies to shed innocent blood
• Rape and molestation of adults, children and babies
• Revel nights
• Conjuring of demons and casting of spells
• Release of “time-released” curses against the innocent and the ignorant.
• Another abomination that goes on behind the scenes of Halloween is necromancy, or communication with the dead. Séances and contacting spirit guides are very popular on Halloween, so there is a lot of darkness lurking in the air.

Those of you (and you know who you are!) who are sacrificing babies to shed innocent blood to celebrate Halloween need to come to your senses! What you are doing is flat out wrong, I don’t care what the holiday is. As for the orgies between animals between humans and animals, well, let me just say I was at one of those parties last year, and I felt uncomfortable nearly the entire time. If you are going to be hosting animal/human orgies to celebrate the holiday, it should specifically stated on the evite (I’m looking at you, Steve-O). As for the sex with demons, well, we broke up, so that’s no longer an issue. But Kim Daniels isn’t quite done yet! It gets worse! There is something else you should be aware of: your candy is being possessed by witches.

For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches. I do not buy candy during the Halloween season. Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store.

So I also have a message for all of you witches in the greater Hershey, PA, area. Stay away from the candy factory! Let our children eat un-possessed candy this year. Otherwise I will unleash a “time- released” curse on all of you.

RELATED: The Huffington Post has some of the more evil candies that have been prayed over by witches.

Yep, it’s that time again. Time for the 7th Annual Halloween Spooktacular. All questions this week will be about ghosts, goblins, serial killers, scary songs, and other devilish delights. The schedule has been adjusted to accomodate the Phils-Yankees World Series. Here is our lineup:
TUESDAY:
O’Neals 8 p.m.
Bards 10:15 p.m.
WEDNESDAY
Locust Rendezvous 6 p.m. SHARP!
Black Sheep Cancelled
THURSDAY
Ugly American 6 p.m.
Bards Cancelled

I’m not a huge Marilyn Manson fan, but this is a pretty badass version of “This is Halloween.” Panic! at the Disco recorded one too, but it’s not as good. Halloween Spooktacular this week. More details forthcoming.

Only one Bounty Bowl on the schedule this week. It is tonight at Ugly American, as L. Ron Hubbard’s Diabetics are the team to beat. Anyone who beats them wins not only the $30 gift certificate but $20 extra in cash.

In conjunction with the city, the Philadelphia Library runs a number of excellent literacy programs. Mike Minion of Duane’s World has long been a volunteer in the Mayor’s Commission on Literacy, and asked if I’d help raise funds for a book donation for the program. I said yes, so I am asking that anyone who can afford it to please donate a dollar towards buying new books for the Mayor’s Commission on Literacy, which focuses on teaching adults to learn how to read to improve their lives, be better parents, get a GED, and advance in the workplace. They are always looking for volunteers as well, so if you’d like to help an adult learn to read, call 215-686-5256 to register for tutoring training, or you can email haywoodl@freelibrary.org.

For more info on the program, click here.

It was on this date in 1803 that the Louisiana Purchase was ratified. Of course, the fun thing about history is that it doesn’t occur in a vacuum . It’s not like Napoleon just woke up one morning and said (in French) “What the hell? Why don’t I just give the damn thing away?” The background to the Purchase is in fact fairly fascinating.

Napoleon’s ambitions in Louisiana involved the creation of a new empire centered on the Caribbean sugar trade. By terms of the Treaty of Ameins of 1800, Great Britain returned ownership of the islands of Martinique and Guadaloupe to the French. Napoleon looked upon Louisiana as a depot for these sugar islands, and as a buffer to U.S. settlement. In October of 1801 he sent a large military force to retake the important island of Santo Domingo, lost in a slave revolt in the 1790s…Meanwhile, Napoeleon’s plans in the Caribbean were being frustrated by Toussaint L’Ouverture, his army of former slaves, and yellow fever. During ten months of fierce fighting on Santo Domingo, France lost over 40,000 soldiers. Without Santo Domingo Napoleon’s colonial ambitions for a French empire were foiled in North America. Louisiana would be useless as a granary without sugar islanders to feed. Napoleon also considered the temper of the United States, where sentiment was growing against France and stronger ties with Great Britain were being considered. Spain’s refusal to sell Florida was the last straw, and Napoleon turned his attention once more to Europe; the sale of the now-useless Louisiana would supply needed funds to wage war there. Napoleon directed his ministers, Talleyrand and Barbe-Marbois, to offer the entire Louisiana territory to the United States – and quickly.

Hey kids, just a quick heads up that Quizzo at the Black Sheep has been cancelled for Wednesday due to the Phils game. However, there will be quizzo at the Rendezvous. It will be starting at 6 p.m. sharp! Need to get done by 7:30 before it turns into a madhouse. All other quizzos are on as scheduled this week. Hope to see some of you Black Sheep regs at a new bar this week. Go Phils!