Demonic Witches from Hell are Responsible for Halloween Candy? Just as I Figured

evil_needs_candy_tooThere was a great article on Pat Robertson’s website that I think you might enjoy. In fact, I know you will enjoy it. It is awesome. Kimberly Daniels reports:

The danger of Halloween is not in the scary things we see but in the secret, wicked, cruel activities that go on behind the scenes. These activities include:

  • Sex with demons
  • Orgies between animals and humans
  • Animal and human sacrifices
  • Sacrificing babies to shed innocent blood
  • Rape and molestation of adults, children and babies
  • Revel nights
  • Conjuring of demons and casting of spells
  • Release of “time-released” curses against the innocent and the ignorant.
  • Another abomination that goes on behind the scenes of Halloween is necromancy, or communication with the dead. Séances and contacting spirit guides are very popular on Halloween, so there is a lot of darkness lurking in the air.

Those of you (and you know who you are!) who are sacrificing babies to shed innocent blood to celebrate Halloween need to come to your senses! What you are doing is flat out wrong, I don’t care what the holiday is. As for the orgies between animals between humans and animals, well, let me just say I was at one of those parties last year, and I felt uncomfortable nearly the entire time. If you are going to be hosting animal/human orgies to celebrate the holiday, it should specifically stated on the evite (I’m looking at you, Steve-O). As for the sex with demons, well, we broke up, so that’s no longer an issue. But Kim Daniels isn’t quite done yet! It gets worse! There is something else you should be aware of: your candy is being possessed by witches.

For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches. I do not buy candy during the Halloween season. Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store.

So I also have a message for all of you witches in the greater Hershey, PA, area. Stay away from the candy factory! Let our children eat un-possessed candy this year. Otherwise I will unleash a “time- released” curse on all of you.

RELATED: The Huffington Post has some of the more evil candies that have been prayed over by witches.

2 thoughts on “Demonic Witches from Hell are Responsible for Halloween Candy? Just as I Figured

  1. We've all been there, JGT. But sex with demons gets old. And it's hard to feel good about yourself after doing the nasty with a demon, even if she is really hot. The morning after remorse is even worse when there are animals involved.

    As for time released curses, maybe you could put one on Mariano Rivera for Saturday night.

  2. If good ol' Pat is so up in arms about Halloween, he must really go crazy at Christmas time. Of course, Christmas was the direct descendant of the Roman December 25 holiday Saturnalia. Read this description of that event:

    Roman pagans first introduced the holiday of Saturnalia, a week long period of lawlessness celebrated between December 17-25. During this period, Roman courts were closed, and Roman law dictated that no one could be punished for damaging property or injuring people during the weeklong celebration. The festival began when Roman authorities chose “an enemy of the Roman people” to represent the “Lord of Misrule.” Each Roman community selected a victim whom they forced to indulge in food and other physical pleasures throughout the week. At the festival’s conclusion, December 25th, Roman authorities believed they were destroying the forces of darkness by brutally murdering this innocent man or woman.

    B. The ancient Greek writer poet and historian Lucian (in his dialogue entitled Saturnalia) describes the festival’s observance in his time. In addition to human sacrifice, he mentions these customs: widespread intoxication; going from house to house while singing naked; rape and other sexual license; and consuming human-shaped biscuits (still produced in some English and most German bakeries during the Christmas season).

    Other than the going from house to house while singing naked (which I regularly engage in), I think the whole derivation of the holiday is outrageous and we must boycott it in the future.

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