Glad I found this article three days before I fly back to Philly:
Authorities called in the bomb squad early Tuesday and diverted a flight to Las Vegas after Los Angeles International Airport security screeners found hidden wires and other objects in a body cavity of a Philadelphia-bound passenger.
Yeah, so this guy, who just so happens to be from Iraq, attempts to get on a plane with wires, a rock,and bubble gum shoved up his bum. Oh, and previously this guy “was arrested on suspicion of possession of a destructive device”. Hmmmm, wonder what he’s up to:
A preliminary investigation appeared to rule out a theory that Al-Maliki may have been looking for weaknesses in security or was rehearsing for a terrorist act.
WHAT?!?!?!?!?! Who conducted this preliminary investigation, Barney Fife? This dude from a country we are currently at war with and who has a track record with explosive devices tries to get on a plane with bubble gum and wires in his ass and we seem to think that it was something other than preparation for a terrorist attack? Hey gang, here’s a quick thought: I, who have no previous police experience, can tell you with 100% F******CERTAINTY THAT THIS NUT WAS PREPARING FOR A F****** TERRORIST ATTACK!!!! As if flying didn’t make me nervous enough. Damn.
Heading out the door, but before I go, I thought I’d leave you with this.
In case you were wondering who posted that write up about the Oscars yesterday, that was Darth Ern. Trivia Art tells me that he stormed Mission Control only hours after I departed, and has been at the controls ever since. Due to the fact that I am over 5,000 miles away, I am helpless to stop his maniacal website takeover. I have contacted the proper authorities, and they are looking into this obvious breach of national security.
Alright, I’m leaving Sunday for two weeks. While I’m gone, Jam Master Sean will take over on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and Dark Horse John will take over on Thursdays. I am hoping to blog from Hawaii while I am there. Depends on whether I can find a cafe with wireless internet. If not, I’ll probably get Trivia “Foobooz” Art to help me out. We have beefed up security at Command Central, so any would-be renegades who want to take over this operation while I am out of town, be warned: resistance to my power will be futile.
As for my plan, well, I don’t really have one. Staying with a buddy of mine near Kona for a while, then I’ll probably get a hotel room for a few nights. Plan to fly to Oahu for a day or two and see some friends there. Am hoping to see the dolphins I used to help train, but nobody I used to work with is still employed there, so we’ll see. I do think I’m gonna go out on a boat looking for humpback whales, as it is humpback whale season, and my best buddy out there tags them for a living. Will spend a day on the other side of the island at Volcanoes National Park. Will spend another day doing drugs and snorkeling at Kealekekua. Haha! Just kidding. I won’t be doing any snorkeling. Other than that, just gonna lay on the beach all day and eat mahi mahi and drink mai tais every night. Hell yeah!
We have encountered a few minor glitches in the system the past few days which have us worried. Why? Because the quizzo grapevine is rife with rumors of a website takeover when I leave the state and am helpless to stop it. I probably have nothing to worry about. I mean, who could be so sinister as to take over a simple blog like this? Nope, probably just unnecessary anxiety on my part. In fact, just forget that I ever posted this. I’m quite sure things will run swimmingly here on the website when I’m gone.
I’m flying to Hawaii on Sunday, and as you might imagine, that is a brutally long flight. I doubt I’ll be able to pull a Ralph Fiennes, so I need some good reading materials for that full day in the sky. Anybody got any good suggestions for sky fare?
She is shaving her head and checking in and out of rehab on a daily basis, then trying to get into her ex-husbands house to take back her children. She’s crashing the parties of complete strangers. She apparently has picked up such a vicious drug habit that rumor has it that she shaved her head to avoid drug testing. The next thing we know she’ll be riding in a white Bronco with Al Cowlings. Question is, “Is this the worst meltdown in celebrity history?” I mean, that one dude from Milli Vanilli turned a life of drugs after they got exposed, but they weren’t early as big as Britney. Mariah had a meltdown that was fun, but not nearly this awe-inspiring in scope. Of course, there was Terrell Owens, uh, every times he leaves his house. But nothing like this that I can think of. Anybody got any other good meltdowns they can think of that even compare to this one?
RELATED: MSN’s top 10 celebrity meltdowns.
Went to eat at Fogo de Chao (1337 Chestnut) the other day, and I gotta say it was the best $25 I have ever spent on lunch. Easily one of the best deals in town. They have an amazing salad bar, and evey kind of meat you can dream of. Filet, sausage, beef wrapped in bacon, you name it, they bring it by the table. According to Trivia Art, all the guys who serve the meat are also the guys who cook it. And they keep it coming until you are so full you flip a card to the color red because you can’t possibly eat another thing. I don’t do many restaurant reviews, but yo, you gots to check this place out.
RELATED: Philly Weekly’s review
-Bounty Bowl at O’Neals (3rd and South) tonight. $25 extra to anyone who can knock off the Young the Old and The Restless tonight.
–Quizzo for the Cause this week. Was gonna do it last week, but we had low turnouts due to the weather. So $1 to play, with all proceeds going toward my Little League.
–Phillies tickets go on sale manana. Anybody up for opening day? That’s Monday, April 2 at 1:00 P.M. Holla at me if you’re up for it.
-I’ve got a bunch of free movie passes to see an upcoming release called Starter for 10. Let me know at quizzo if you wanna see it and I’ll hook you up with passes.
