Sorry, but I can’t say that I’m all that upset about that douchebag that got tasered at the John Kerry speech. He was an obnoxious ass who kept running from the cops and then screaming “What am I doing?” You’re resisting arrest, dumbass. Now take your medicine. ZAP! I’m just hoping that we can hire those cops who have no patience for douchebags to start patrolling Manaynk.

Rumors were bandied about that K-Fed was going to be assassinated, but apparently this so called killer was no Gavrilo Princip. Hell, he was not even a Leon Czolgosz. Listen to me, potential killer, and listen real good: You lay one finger on Kevin, and it’s going to be you and me, bub. And trust me, you don’t want that. Not at all. You are Playing With Fire, Buster. Playing With Fire.
UPDATE: Suspect named! (NSFW due to cussin’)

A great song by impressive local rapper Reef the Lost Cauze called The Sound of Philadelphia will be played tonight on ESPN Monday Night Countdown. Peep it! 7 p.m. tonight on ESPN.
RELATED: The Sound of Philadelphia.
We respect guns, we respect funds
Let’s face it..my future don’t look like the Jetsons
Brilliant line.
RELATED: Speaking of rap, the Diabolical Biz Markie DJs Saturday at Fluid. I am so there. And while Just a Friend is still a fun song, it’s no Vapors.

Alright, alright, I’m working on the week in review now. I know, I know, but the first fall weekend was great for napping, not for getting work done. So I laid on the couch and watched football and baseball essentially all weekend (best game: Alabama vs. Arkansas). And I went to King Tut. It was pretty good but I think it’s lame when, after you’ve already paid $32.50, they charge you $6 for a set of headsets, so you appear either a) cheap if you don’t get them or b) anti-social if you do. I think you guys know which choice I went with. Oh, come on, not because I’m cheap, because I’m social. And when the whole image of King Tut is that headdress thing, and that is even what they are advertising it with, it is a bit disappointing when that thing is nowhere to be seen.

Also went bowling on Saturday. Much better deal than King Tut. Ten bucks all you can bowl, though you do have to deal with a lot more hipsters than you have to deal with at Tut (I think me and the Sofa Kingdom guys were the only people there without tattoos, ironic eyewear, and painted on jeans). More importantly, I bowled my best game in years, a 133. I was pretty psyched about that. And, having matured in the last 6 months, there were no a) keg stands or b) temper tantrums. A very grown up performance by me.

In sports, I will be talking about the Phils this afternoon. And my fantasy team played against Carson Palmer this week, and he outscored my entire team.
ALSO: Will you people freaking vote already? Seriously, only 47 votes, and 11 of those are Steve O. voting for himself.

Well, the Mission 300 crew is back at it; after all the mission for a 300 has thus far been a failure, though there has been a lot of fun in trying to get the perfect game. Anyways, bowling in South Philly on Saturday night, and all you can drink for $10? Easily the best deal in town. And I know how cheap you people are (not me. I’ll be arriving at the bowling alley after ordering a “Biggie Size” meal at Le Bec Fin). If you wanna guarantee a spot, click here and order from our friends over at Badminton Stamps. Tix online are $10, they’re $15 at the door. Details are as follows:
St. Monica’s Parish
16th and Shunk
10 p.m.-???
MIssion 300 On Myspace
RELATED: JGT goes bowling, and gives a short history lesson about the sport.
RELATED: Mission 300 gets some love from Philly Weekly.

First off, this is kind of gory, so you probably don’t wanna watch from work. But the Nike commercial with Stephen Jackson got me totally fired up about the movie the music came from, Last of the Mohicans. I watched it for the first time when I was a freshman in college with the girl I was dating at the time, Nikki Santos (her current status: married w/ three kids). A couple of summers later, me and two of my buddies on the Shore, Rob and Pete, hung out just about every night and drank cold beverages on a dock at a place called Red Bank. Then, before calling it a night, we’d swing by Pete’s place and watch the final ten minutes of this movie, because they were so badass. We must have watched it 40 times, and we were all three in love with Jodhi May (the one on the cliff). Yeah, boring story, I know, but the bottom line is, if you haven’t watched Last of the Mohicans yet, I highly recommend it. Oh, and Magua is one of the most underrated bad guys ever.

–This is AWESOME. You can try to hold farcical “closed door public meetings”, but in the end, Democracy rules! Ok, fine, in the end big money rules, but being a dreamer has its perks.

-You know what the terrorists need? Better logos.

-If a head falls in the woods, and no-one is around to hear it fall…

-No sooner do I call Donovan McNabb underrated than the Onion goes with this story.

1. When Israel’s first president died in 1952, this man was offered the position, but turned it down.
2. Australia, Brazil, and New Zealand all have this constellation on their national flags.
3. What state capital is named after a German chancellor?
4. Who was shot and killed William McKinley by on this date in 1901?
5. The title of what play do essentially all performers consider unlucky to say at the theatre

Answers and interesting facts about each after the jump.

Continue reading “What we learned last week” →

It seems that everyone is buzzing about what a terrible performance Britney put on the other night. And it was pretty awful. But what is all this talk about how “fat” she looked? This from the AP: Out-of-synch lip-synching. Lethargic movements that seemed choreographed by a dance instructor for a nursing home. The paunch in place of Spears’ once-taut belly. The New York Post’s headlines read, “Lard and Clear”. “The bulging belly she was flaunting was SO not hot,” wrote E! Online. Well, forgive Britney for looking like an actual human being. I happen to think that actual human women are attractive, and I am not really all that attracted to women who look like they’re addicted to heroine or who have washboard stomachs that look like they belong to a young male athlete. So the AP and E! calls a healthy looking mother of two fat, and then in a few weeks they’ll run a story trying to figure out why so many young girls have eating disorders. (Speaking of pathetic, how about the fact that this is the 2nd time I’ve discussed Britney this week, and it’s only Tuesday?)

OK, so I went to a Fringe play on Friday with buddy and fellow Metro scribe Bruce. We saw “Hearts of Man” which was about this guy who tries to pick up kids in a chat room and about how his lawyers and the prosecutors handle the case. It was like a bad Law and Order episode. So then we went and got Happy Hour Margarita’s at the Mexican Post. That was followed by a trip to the Bards where I watched the Phils lose and then to a party hosted by a member of a member of Narcotyzing Dysfunktion. A fine time was had by all.

Saturday was spent recovering from Friday and winning a game of Rat a Tat Cat. Rat a Tat Cat is my jam. If anyone would like to become a better Rat a Tat Cat player, please let me know. I am thinking about teaching a Rat a Tat Cat class.

And then there was Sunday and the Eagles game. Watched it with the Sofa Kingdom crew. Needless to say it was a disappointment. It was the first time that I can say with a straight face that if I had been returning punts for the Philadelphia Eagles, they would not have lost the game. The loss was compounded by a loss at RISK, as, after 6 1/2 hours of play (seriously, 6 1/2 hours), Nate dominated the world. Oh well, at the least the Phils won 2 of 3. And oh, Trivia Art was at Lambeau yesterday and is at Wrigley today. Pretty sweet.