Yeah, Tuesday got a little wild, but I did only end up doing one mind eraser, and a few more shots. But I was able to get out of bed before 3 p.m. the next day. The Narcotyzing Dysfunktion, meanwhile, had been saving up gift certificates for like a year and spent, I think, $560 worth of gift certificates Tuesday night. Pretty incredible. I wasn’t sure, but I thought I saw a few of them with a decent buzz.

1. What was the name of Will Smith’s first solo album?

2. J-Roll became the 3rd shortstop in MLB history to record 30 homers and 30 stolen bases in a season. One is still a ML star, the other one retired in 2004 after playing for the same team for 19 years. Who are they?

3. This future president was an illiterate tailor in Tennessee in the 1820s when his future wife taught him how to write.

4. In what important document would you find the words, “We pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor”?
a) Declaration of Independence b) Gettysburg Address c) Magna Carta d) US Constution

5. How far is it from the bowling foul line to the front pin?
a) 50 feet b) 60 feet c) 70 feet d) 80 feet

6. In this popular Nintendo game, Bill Rizer and Lance Bean fight Red Falcon terrorists on the island of Galuga.

Continue reading “Things we learned last week” →

-Rush Limbaugh calls soldiers who don’t support the war “phony soldiers”. What does that make people who get out of fighting because they have a cyst on their ass?

–Alyssa Milano says she’s done dating athletes, I have not played organized sports since I was 18; she was on “Who’s the Boss, I used to watch “Who’s the Boss”; she was in “Poison Ivy”, poison ivy gives me a terrible rash; Hmmmm, I hate to use the term “match made in heaven” but I think we may be on to something here.

-George Bush, in an effort to get his approval ratings under 25%, vetoes a bill that would help the poor get healthcare. \

-Chip Chantry tonight at Helium. 8 p.m. Be there.

-Attention bars: If you plan on carrying today’s game, please CUT OFF THE CLOSED CAPTIONING! I mean, if someone deaf comes in the bar, sure, you can cut it back on, but otherwise, keep it off! Nobody cares what the morons calling the game say, especially if the words are blocking the action on the screen, which they always do. Man, that drives me crazy!

Only in Philadelphia would a guy who impersonates the head football coach hang out on a bus with Mitch Williams, Hugh Douglas, and the baseball team’s mascot. I still don’t think I understand where the hell they were going, just cruising around South Philly on a bus. I mean, what??? Here’s Steve-O’s report (That’s him, above, with LA’s NLCS ring). This is pretty insane.

Last night was Comcast Sportsnet’s 10th anniversary special at Chickie’s and Pete’s in South Philly. The place was full of Philadelphia sports personalities and I was invited there to participate in the live broadcast of “Monday Night Live”. I was there as part of the cast of the Eagles documentary film “Green Fans”. Other fans included “helmet man”, “cheesesteak man”, “Tattoo man” – it was like a dysfunctional Ocean’s 11/Island of Misfit Toys/SuperPhriends. Our Superpower? Strong Spelling ability.

There was a VIP party in the back, but the real fun was on the “Scotty Express” – one of the premier Eagles tailgating group buses. Once the players, broadcasters, etc., left the VIP party, we guided them towards the bus for some drinks and Philly sports talk.

Each time one of the name guys would get on the bus, we would joking yell, “Lock the doors! Let’s get moving”!!!!

Some of the more notable names to hang with us on the bus:

Mitch Williams – was in awe of the bus and called Philly fans the best fans ever. When we were taking group pictures, I suggested we should exercise terrible aim and capture shots of our feet as a tribute. He found that pretty funny.

Phillie Phanatic – Well he has no real mouth, so there was no drinking. Just the usual craziness he brings to the table. He has serious ADHD.

Bob Kelly – Former Flyers legend of the 70s. Not very amused when I yelled out, “Hey. It’s Charlie Manuel”.

Ike Reese and Hugh Douglas – both are still baffled about the lack of adjustments made during the Eagles game to help Winston Justice.

Steve Coates – Flyers play-by-play announcer. Fun guy.

Gary Matthews – Drinking water when we saw him last night. Very uncharacteristic if you knew of some of the legendary stories involving him as a 1983 Phillie.

Larry Andersen – I’ve hung out with him before. But for most of the guys on the bus, it was their first time. At first he was reluctant to get on the bus, and wanted to make sure we were all Phils fans too (which we all are).

He had plenty to say about this bunch of Phillies. He is still in awe of how they put it together. Along with Mitch and Sarge, he gave tons of credit to Uncle Charlie. He said other managers would never have been able to weather the storm from early this year. He said that he likes Eskin, but that Charlie woulda taken Eskin out if they had fought. We were going crazy when he said that.

We also celebrated seeing all the Mets fans in tears.

Then LA, Mitch and our group started singing High Hopes (seems like we only knew the one line about apple pie in the sky). LA knew the whole song and as we all started drinking, we suddenly hear him singing the 2nd verse (and possibly 3rd).

It was a good night. People are pumped about the Phillies.

Watching the Padres-Rockies game and a promo comes on for NBC10’s local news team. After the usual stuff about fires and weather, all of a sudden the cheesy announcer dude says in his serious voice, “A psychic poodle…a deadly message. Exclusively on NBC.” Wow, I bet FOX and KYW are just kicking themselves or not being able to land the psychic poodle story.

Gonna post pics of the winners of last weeks quizzo with questions about the Phillies underneath. One guess per person.

-I used to hang out with these guys, the Tangled Thoughts, a few years ago when they still lived in Philly, and used to watch them at Abilene’s. Well, things have taken off since they moved to Cali. They got hooked up with Kurupt and just released their first album. Here’s a few tunes they have on Myspace. I like “Jumpoff”.

–The Metro launched their new blog, Metropolis, today.

–Rudy Giuliani is going to eat at Geno’s tonight to show his support for racism. If anybody wants to go and chant, “Gen-O-pho-bic! (clap-clap, clap-clap-clap) Gen-O-pho-bic!” give me a holler. I’m down.

–Have you heard of Pricasso? The artist who paints portraits with his, um, manhood? (This is SFW, but if your boss walks by he’s going to think you are kind of insane.)

-Steve O. is gonna be playing Andy Reid on Comcast Sportsnite at 7:30 p.m. and 11 p.m. After last night’s game, I think this could be a great opportunity to see Steve O. get beat up on television.

Yo, I’m gonna check out the rally at City Hall. It’ll be a little different than the impromptu celebration we had on Broad yesterday (more on that later), but it’ll still be fun. I’ll be back this afternoon to do my write up about what was an incredible weekend of celebration, heartbreak, and finally euphoria in the middle of Broad Street. Oh, and if anybody wants to see me follow through on a dreadful bet, be at the Bards tomorrow night. I have to drink Mind Erasers. I told the Kingdom I would never drink another one unless the Phils went to the playoffs.

If you haven’t played the new online quizzo, check it out! If you have played it, please tell your friends. I think I have an opportunity to really do some fun stuff here, but I really need you guys to help me promote it. I greatly appreciate your help. Should have a new one up next week.

Also, I’m going to the Phils games tonight and tomorrow. Neither is an afternoon special, so they should be OK. Right? We sweep and we’re in, and we can celebrate with an Eagles win over the Giants on Sunday night. Fellas, the fact is that you will not be leaving the couch or bar stool all weekend, so you’re gonna have to agree to take the little lady out somewhere real nice next week. I suggest Chili’s. And to show her how much you care, give her the gift that lasts forever: plastic roses.

The good guys at Lazaro’s hooked it up a couple of weeks ago. We had an open house for the basketball Little League at my YMCA (if anyone is interested in volunteering or donating funds, jerseys, etc., let me know), and the guys at Lazaros (17th and South) gave us a great deal on pizza. Thanks guys! And keep up the good work.