First the Austrians arrest a man for thinking he had a right to free speech, then the Germans have the nerve to arrest a man who came into the police station with a nearly half-pound bag of weed to complain about the fact that he had bought bad pot. I mean, for the love of God, you can’t even bring a giant bag of shake into a police station and demand that the police stop this schwag seller before he rips off somebody else w/o getting arrested yourself. It’s madness, I tell you. I just hope George Bush puts some pressure on the Germans to let this man go and go after the dealer of the brown frown. Because when you let dirt sellers go free, the terrorists win.

For those of you who missed my appearance on the 10! show a few weeks ago, here is a chance to see the most incredible moment on the show, and one of the most incredible moments in live tv history…when Bill Henley complimented Miss America on her box. There were some other decent moments as well, and I’m hoping to get some video up on this website in the near future.

Jeanne Calment was born on February 21, 1875. When she died, she had the longest confirmed life span of any human being ever. How old was she? (That’s her above, giving the Four Horseman salute).

Don’t know if you’ve seen this story, but it’s pretty big over in Europe right now. A discredited bigot is being sent ot jail for three years for being, well, a bigot. David Irving, a revisionist historian who has tried to paint a brighter side of Nazi Germany, was jailed for three years in Austria for denying that the Holocaust ever happened. Now, while jailing someone for their beliefs would hardly ruffle a feather in say, Nazi Germany, what makes this scary is that it’s happening in Austria. In case you were wondering, Austria is a democracy. Is there any possible argument that this guy deserves jail time for being an idiot? Should people who don’t think that man landed on the moon be imprisoned? I mean, there is overwhelming evidence that it happened, just as there is overwhleming evidence that the Holocaust happened. Should the cartoonist who drew the Mohammed cartoon be imprisoned? After all, his cartoon insulted a lot of people of a major religion, just as Irving did. Of course not. So not only has Austria pulled a fascist style move and jailed a man for his beliefs, but they have also turned a fringe historian who nobody took seriously into a martyr for anti-semites all over the world and given this idiot a platform for his despicable beliefs.

Hey, I’m stealing this one from my man Dan over at Blinq. It’s a website that tells you what song was #1 on the Billboard charts the day you were born. For me, it’s “Fire” by the Ohio Players. I’m kool with that. Dudes had like the hottest album covers ever (OK, besides Herb Albert’s “Whipped Cream”.)

Well, yet another joyous President’s day is before us, and knowing that we have one of the best ever in office right now just sends goosebumps up the spine. But we have to think about the ones who came before him. Let’s start off with a compendium of little known “facts” about each president that are pretty hilarious. Of course it’s important that we honor our fourteen lost presidents today as well, the unfortunate souls who led our country when all we had was those crappy Articles of Confederation (I mean, seriously, who’s brainchild were they?) And let’s not forget my main man, David Rice Atchison (above), prez for a day. Oh, and more importantly, Grey’s Anatomy was really good last night. I think I wrote it off a little too soon. But Desperate Housewives is really getting boring. I mean, seriously, when your entire plotline is about babysitting, it’s time to re-evaluate.

I knew that Rita’s had expanded out as far as Lancaster, but I had no idea…Thanks to Barry for sending this in.

Johnny will be starting a quizzo in New Hope on Monday, February 20th! The quizzo is gonna be at the Havana bar. I was pretty determined not to host something that far away, but I went there and the bar is just incredible, so I figured I would give it a shot. Kickoff is 7 p.m. Have a great weekend everybody.
In Case You Missed It: Bobby Badtimes goes off the Richter.

Well, after careful consideration, I have decided on what I think are the worst love songs of all time. I expect there to be debate in the comments section. Also, be sure to vote in the new poll (right side of page). Here they are:
1. My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion. There is really no question that this is the worst love song ever. I don’t ever have suicidal tendencies, but when Celine hits that high note late in the song, I start to stare longingly at my Ginsu knives.

2. Muskrat Love by Captain and Tenille. The sound of muskrats, uh, loving, by means of a synthesizer midway thru the song, ended the “Age of the Synthesizer”. I mean really, when was the last time you heard a song with a synthesizer breakdown? Not since Captain and Tennille used it to simulate rodents f******.

3. You’re Having My Baby by Paul Anka. “You’re having my Baby. What a wonderful way to show me that you love me.” Listen, if there are any women out there who love me, please Do NOT show me by having my baby.

4. There’ll Be Sad Songs by Billy Ocean. It was such an emotional roller coaster with Billy. First he comes out with Caribbean Queen, and I’m like, “This guy rocks.” Then he comes out with “There’ll Be Sad Songs”, and I’m like, “This guy sucks”. Then he comes out with “Get Out of My Dreams, Get Into My Car,” and I’m like, “Damn, if we were like the Greeks and had gods for everything, he would be the God of Kicking Ass and Getting Laid.”

5. I Will Be Right Here Waiting For You by Richard Marx. If wherever I go, whatever I do, Richard Marx is right there waiting for me, I’m calling the cops.

6. Broken Wings by Mr. Mister. Hmmm, more of a “let’s get back together” song than a love song, I suppose, but it’s soft and slow and is just so f****** awful I needed to add it to the list. “And when we hear the voices sing, The book of love will open up, And let us in.” REMAIN CLOSED, Book of Love! Listen to me! You must remain closed!

7. Teen Angel by Mark Dinning. This song is so awesomely bad that it’s actually kind of good. See, the teen lovers car stalls on a railroad track. Fortunately, they are ok. Great, a happy ending, right? Not so fast. Suddenly the girl completely loses her freaking mind and heads back to the car as a train is coming. She climbs inside the car and THWACK, next thing you know her brains are splattered all over the tracks (that’s a bit of an embellishment by me, not really found in the song, but come on, she got hit by a freaking train!) So now he sings to her in heaven. Amazing.

8. I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight by the Cutting Crew. What can you say about the Cutting Crew that hasn’t already been said? After all, “They suck” has already been said thousands of times.

9. I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That) by Meatloaf. OK, I give up. What WON’T Meatloaf do for love?

10. The Glory of Love by Peter Cetera. Any glory that came with love was destroyed by Peter Cetera. “Just like a knight in shining armor, from a long time ago”. As opposed to one of the more contemporary knights in shining armor.

Johnny is working on his ten worst love songs of all time. He will be posting them later today. Also, be sure to pick up a copy of today’s Metro and read the interview with JGT.