Heading out to take a friend to the airport, then I gotta grab some pizza for lunch. I’ll be back in the office (by office, I mean the dingy little room in my house that has a computer) this afternoon to work on stories and pizza reviews. Until then, learn a few things about the Iran Contra affair. Just because.

Hey, today is Billy Dee’s Birthday. In honor of his borthday, I implore you to take the Billy Dee Williams Smoothness Test. Actually, it’s nto nearly as funny as it should be. And remember, before there was Billy Dee, there was John Q. Adams.
RELATED: It’s also Zamfir’s birthday! Zamfir rules!

Hey gang, not gonna get much done on the site today. First I had pizza with an old friend, which I’ll write about tommorrow, and now I’ve got to go to traffic court. All the while I gotta get questions done for tonight. Anyways, I was kind of excited when I got a comment from Angelo Cataldi yesterday on my MySpace account, saying, “Johnny, good to hear from you, pal. I like your shirt, its beautiful, just beautiful…” Well, I shoulda smelled something fishy when a former sportswriter didn’t give his s an apostrophe. According to Dan over at Blinq, it’s all sham.

First of all congratulations to two members of La Salsa Caliente, Graham “Don’t Stop Believin'” Baird and Daneen Stamps, who are engaged to be married. Well, the 10! show (greatest episode ever: February 1, 2006) is having a contest whereas they are going to feature five couples, and the one who gets the most votes gets an all expenses paid wedding. Daneen and Graham will be featured on tommorrow’s show, which airs at 10 am. Voting commences tomorrow at 11 a.m. I’ll throw a link up when voting starts. Now, I know what you’re thinking: Johnny with your contacts at the 10! show, why aren’t you involved in this contest? Great question. Well, I had resigned myself to being an old maid. That is, until I fell in love with fruit salad.

The Alterna Servers proved to be a force at O’Neals on Sunday, in a private party that inspired Johnny to post his worst pun headline ever. The party was for the employees of Gayle (617 South 3rd Street), a Queen Village restaurant that opened a few months ago to rave reviews. The alterna servers included Ed “Nails” Galluzo, a former member of the notorious Western Omelette.

I gotta go study Spanish. In the meantime, read here about a dude who thinks that the cure for all of our current problems is to eliminate 90% of the current human population. I found thsi story on my buddy Donald’s Imploding America website. Oh, and a happy 42nd birthday to Kid of the dynamic duo Kid n’ Play (he’s the one with the tall hair). Johnny claims he can do that dance move where you hold your left leg in your hand and jump over it with your other leg, but I’m not sure I believe him.
Related: Kid n’ Play “Gettin Funky”

Yo, y’all can check me out on MySpace. I’ve been on there for a while, but I wanted to get some friends added before I told you people about it so you wouldn’t think I’m a loser. If you wanna be MySpace friends, just holla!

Stacie was the winner of the 2nd annual JGT Bracket Spectacular by virtue of having UCLA in the final game. I don’t think anyone in our pool had Florida in the Final Four, much less winning the whole thing. As for me, I felt kind of bad for winning last year, so I decided I would do really, really poorly this year. Mission accomplished! I finished 28th out of 37 teams. Peep My Popesack finished in last with a 33. She did not have a single team correct in the final 8. My favorite team name of the whole thing was “The Knicks Are an 11 Seed”. Stacie wins a $50 gift certificate to Barrister’s. We’ll have to have some sort of tiebreaker for 2nd, as Niederdeppe and Pauly O both finished with 70.

For what is former University of Florida student Paul Tibbets best known?

Well, after a terrific tourney followed by the worst two final four games ever, here’s hoping that the final game is a good one. Best place to watch the game? I say Barrister’s. They’ve got $3 Bud Light and Miller Lite drafts, the Miller Lite girls are gonna be there, and there is a drawing to give away a Sirius radio!