Controversy, Cute Babes on New Year’s

Johnny’s fortunes took a quick turn for the worse on New Year’s Day, only moments after meeting the cute babes pictured above. After going outside this bar (which we won’t name, but will tell you has been in business for over 140 years) to check his voicemail, the bouncers (shown below) told him that he couldn’t go back in. Despite pleas of “Do you know who I am?” the bouncers held their ground, and now Johnny hopes they are both killed by Al-Quaeda. “That would be great,” said the self-proclaimed King of Quizzo. “My New Years Resolution is to spearhead an effort to get this bar (which I won’t name) closed down. 140+ years is long enough.”
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Us Again was able to sweep past the field at Nick’s Roast Beef on Wednesday, which earned them a sweeping endorsement from Pete Rose. “Hey, these guys are winners. Will they repeat next week? Well, let’s just say that’s where I’ve got my money.”

Broad Street Bullies Win

The Broad Street Bullies were able to pull off another victory on Tuesday by answering the weekly double question correctly and squeak past the Jams. I’m not sure what place the girls below finished but hey, let’s face it, who the hell cares. When they play, we all win.

Rochelle Rochelle Victorious

Rochelle Rochelle was able to leave Aiken for Clay in the dust in Round number Four and take the cake at Doc Watson’s on Monday. Aiken for Clay left their namesake disappointed. “I guess we’re losers, just like Clay,” said Randolph Hernmeister of the Aikens. “It was nice of Clay to come and support us,” said team member Chelsea Clockwise, “And I felt bad that the owner of the bar made him watch from outdoors, on account of Clay being such a loser.”

The Hot Four

Here are the Four hottest teams on the Johnny G. Quizzo Circuit:

The Missing Heads (Pictured below) have won four straight at the Black Sheep, and were only one question away froma perfect score last week.
S2 has won three straight at O’Neals.
Would You Eat Them has won two straight at the Bards, becoming the first team to repeat at 20th and Walnut.
The Sulfur Clams got a phone call from George Bush after a 6th place finish two weeks ago, then moved all the way up into fifth place

Question of the Week

What is the Blood Type of the Universal Blood Donor?

Comedy Show Every Monday

Johnny Goodtimes and friends Dan Goodman and Chip Chantry host a comedy show every Monday night at Finn McCools on the corner of 12th and Sansom. Catch the hottest comedians in Philadelphia each and every Monday. The best part about the show is that, amazingly, it’s free! McCool’s also offers $2 kamikaze shots during the show. This is the only free comedy show in Center City, and we only hire the funniest comedians in town, so be sure to check it out!

Johnny’s Bio

Johnny Goodtimes was born in Virginia (which is NOT the same as West Virginia), just like Thomas Jefferson and Moses Malone. In high school, Johnny played against Iverson in summer league b-ball, and rumor has it that Johnny shut him down. He received a PhD in Spermology (the study of trivia) from Quizzo A & M in 1997, and moved to Hawaii in 1998. In Hawaii, Johnny served as a dolphin trainer for a few years (seriously) before returning to the mainland. While training dolphins, Johnny learned two vital Japanese phrases. Sabadu sudu sudu (Touch softly, softly) and Iruka ha hachi chu hachi ha (The dolphin has eighty eight teeth). Goodtimes moved to Philly in October 2001. He began hosting Quizzo at Nick’s in August of 2002 after going to one and being bored to tears. The business expanded rapidly, and in October of 2004 his quizzo was named Philly’s Best by City Paper. Philly’s Quizmaster laureate occasionally does consultant work for a dolphin facility in Mexico. Johnny hates the Cowboys, eggplant, and Manyunk. Here’s a few other worthless facts about Johnny (And be sure to check out his MySpace Profile):

Favorite movies: Pee Wee Herman’s Big Adventure, Scent of a Woman
Favorite musicians: The Roots, Johnny Cash, and Nina Simone
Favorite comedians: Steve Martin, Bill Hicks, Dave Attell
Favorite disease: Scurvy
Favorite Presidents: William Henry Harrison (I’m a big fan of any politician who dies after a month in office), Grover Cleveland (Two non-consecutive terms; what’s not to like?)
Hottest actresses: Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, Marilyn Chambers

Least favorite movies: Zoolander, Twister
Least favorite musicians: Celine Dion, P. Diddy, all modern country music
Least favorite comedians: Marguaret Cho, Sinbad
Least favorite disease: Lumbago
Least favorite presidents: George W. Bush, George Bush, Sr.
Overrated actresses: Kirsten Dunst, Liv Tyler, Julia Roberts

Special Ed Ed Wins!

Special Ed Ed scored a perfect score through the first two rounds, and held off the Sealappers in round four, to win 96-92. The Broad Street Bullies struggled in the wild card round, and landed in third with 87. The defending champs Do We Get Cheated and How never got on track, finishing with 66.

Author: Johnny Goodtimes