Author: Johnny Goodtimes

Gallows Humor

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A few last words from men about to be executed.

Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel.
Executed in electric chair in New York.~~ George Appel, d. 1928

You sons of bitches. Give my love to Mother.
Executed in electric chair.~~ Francis “Two Gun” Crowley, d. 1931

How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? French fries.
Executed in electric chair in Oklahoma.~~ James French, d. 1966

I’d rather be fishing.
Executed in electric chair, Louisiana.
~~ Jimmy Glass, d. June 12, 1987

I did not get my Spaghetti-O’s, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.
Executed by injection, Oklahoma.
~~ Thomas J. Grasso, d. March 20, 1995

Perfect Game in Quizzo?

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The Big Unit, who undoubtedly has the best mullet in sports, threw a perfect game last night, which raises an obvious question: Has there ever been a perfect game in Johnny Goodtimes Quizzo Spectacualr history? The answer is no, though three teams have come extremely close. Easy Money, who has the all time high score of 116 (out of a possible 118), missed two questions in Rd. 1 and then never missed another question. Two teams have had perfect scores going into the final question. The Missing Heads would have had a perfect score on December 3rd at the Black Sheep, but they misspelled the city of Reykjavik by one letter. Then the Western Omelette had a perfect score through 39 questions at the Bards on Jan. 20th, but missed the question “What was the only film Jimmy Stewart ever won a Best Actor Oscar for?” The quest for Quizzo immortality continues. And while we’re on the topic of baseball, check out this site which claims that former Phillie Von Hayes is the devil.

Comedy Spectacular on Sunday

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The Johnny Goodtimes Comedy Spectacular will be taking place on Sunday, May 23rd at Doc Watson’s (11th and Locust). The show will showcase local comedians Dan Goodman, Steve Zorbalas, and *** ****** and of course, Johnny Goodtimes. Tickets are only $5, and showtime is 8:30 p.m. There is NOTHING you will find more entertaining on Sunday night than this show. That is a guarantee from me, Johnny Goodtimes.