Went to Phillies game last night, and sat next to a couple who were not only Giants fans, but who also had a sign which read, “We believe in you, Barry.” The fans in my section were not pleased with these people. The man beside me, who was a bit older and balding, sat quietly as the fans chanted “Ro-gaine! Ro-gaine!” and also had to endure chants of “She’s on steroids” aimed at his wife. The man made the mistake of standing up with his cardboard sign and then all hell broke loose. Somebody yelled something, then the man’s wife yelled back, “Suck a d***!” Well, then this lady in front of her who had come with her kids started going nuts. Apparently it was ok for Phillies fans to scream obscenities, but not Giants fans. So now she and the GIants lady were screaming and the crowd was going absolutely wild. Security started flying in from all sides. The crowd began chanting, “Kick them out! Kick them out!” I thought they were kicking them out, so I told one of the security guards, “They’ve been taking a lot of s***.”He said that they knew and that they were just going to move them to another section. The crowd, unaware of this, started singing the “shananana hey hey hey goodbye” song. Somebody dumped a beer on the dude, just because he had a freaking Barry Bonds sign. Philly sports fans, once again, jumped on the opportunity to make asses of themselves. It’s one thing to chant. It’s another thing to dump beer on somebody. Pathetic. Other than that, though, it was a great game. I’ve never seen a ball hit as high as the one Bonds hit. It was majestic, and for all the booing as we did all game, we certainly stood in awe of Barry’s shot. The best sign I saw at the park? One which read “To boo list” then followed with a list of each of the following things checked off: “Santa, Kobe, Barry Bonds, Clubber Lang.”

There are rumblings coming from Bobby Badtimes camp. Major rumblings. The type of rumbling that makes you wonder if your cities infrastructure can handle what is coming next. Though nothing has been confirmed, rumor has it that you are going to be seeing more of Bobby Badtimes next week. A lot more! A whole lot more! Details coming on Monday!

I’m going to be honest. I’m a little disappointed with my performance on the gayometer. I’m only 40% gay. I thought I was a little gayer than that. Anyways, take it yourself, and feel free to post the results below.

I’ve had a ton of people ask me about the address to Tony’s Pizza. It is 6300 Frankford Avenue. Yes, a bit of a trek, but well worth it. Also, the Man in Black is back. The Johnny Cash cover band will be playing as part of a cinco de mayo spectacular at Barrister’s on friday night. In Anthony Dimeo news, this comes to us courtesy of my good friend D-Mac over at PhiladelphiaWillDo. Meanwhile, over at Philebrity, you can get a taste of the new Gnarls Barkley album. I like track number five. Alright, I gotta wipe away the cobwebs and get crackin’ on this site. I got some quizzo results and a couple of pizza reviews coming soon. Oh, and about the 24 inch pythons in the picture above, a member of the JAMS brought in the actual ECW championship belt which he had won at a trivia competition recently, so I had to see what I would look like if I were a heavyweight wrestling champ. A champ who wears a lavender shirt.

It’s fun to occasionally look at my web stats and find out what brings people to the website. For example, last month 85 people landed on johnnygoodtimes.com because they typed Bernadette Stanis into their search engine (the hottie from the show Goodtimes and former question of the week). 82 got here by typing in eazy e. I don’t always believe this thing, though. For example, 73 people landed on my site after typing in Jesus. I can’t imagine my site comes up real high on google when you type in “Jesus”. 21 people got here by typing in Intercourse. Probably not what they were looking for. Other search engine requests that brought people to johnnygoodtimes.com in the month of April? Birthday spanking, tony toni tone, mexican police, claire huxtable, great asses, lazy sluts, von hayes devil, lay pipe, hitler personality quiz, stalin is good, eaten by a jellyfish, and wear your ass as a hat. Sounds about right.

Cinco de Mayo commemorates the victory of Mexican forces led by General Ignacio Zaragoza in what battle?

In a shocking announcement this morning, Juan Buenostiempos, Johnny’s cousin from south of the border and a well known and respected entertainer in Mexico (he’s won numerous Latin Grammy’s), declared that his RPS days are over. “Yo estoy finito,” said a disconsolate Buenostiempos, who actually won two matches last night. But it was his behavior in his second match, where he nearly ripped the arm off of a female contestant and threw her into a table (“El fue un accidente,” said an apologetic Buenostiempos), that turned the crowd against him and prompted his retirement. When the crowd began jeering, Buenostiempos shot them a double bird. He said “Lo siento” after the match was over, but the damage was done. Buenostiempos will head back into the studio, and is expected to record a song about his experiences on the American RPS circuit. It will be muy bueno.

George Bush got roasted this past weekend at the White House Correspondants dinner, including a double who acted as his conscious. It was pretty funny. Check it out here.