Teams That Dress Up For QB5 Get VIP Seating

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The first few rows of seating to QBV will go not to the teams that arrive earliest but to the teams that arrive flashiest. VIP seating this year is being reserved for teams that either dress outlandishly (and yes, I will be the final arbiter of what constitutes “outlandish”) or dress in team uniforms. I saw how just about every single team dressed up for Denver’s Geek Bowl and I refuse for Philadelphia to be outdone by those clowns in the mountains. If you are curious where you can get team uniforms for a fair price, contact Triple Play Sporting Goods at 9th and Christian. (215) 923-5466. They’ve always given me a good rate and you’ll be supporting local business to boot. Also, I’m coming up with more ways to give VIP status to teams that dress up, so I’ll have more details soon. You’ve got plenty of time to pull this together. Now get crackin’!

Johnny Goodtimes to Host Chip Chantry Zero Man Show!!!

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Hey kids, just got a call from Chip, who told me that he is sick as a dog** and he can’t make it to his own show tonight. However, the show must go on, and will therefore be hosted by me (above, being punched in the face as an adolescent). Now, I know what you’re thinking: “This is some sort of put-on by Johnny and Chip and then Chip is going to show up halfway through the show and pretend like he’s sick and yadda yadda yadda.” No, we’ll probably do that next month, but this month it’s for real. So we’re gonna put the Wheel of Terrific off until next month, and in the meantime we’re adding Philadelphia’s Funniest 2008, Kent Haines to the show. That is in addition to Steve Gerben, who was named Philly’s Funniest by Helium Comedy Club in 2007. That’s two of Philly’s funniest for the price of one, and should counter the damage done by me, Johnny Goodtimes, who was named Philadelphia’s Least Funny Man for three years running (2004-2006). So, the story is this: Show starts at 8:30 p.m. sharp. Drinks at the Khyber are ridiculously cheap (I think PBR is like a buck a can.) It’s gonna be a good show, and it’s only $5 to get in. And most importantly, if it goes well, I can tell Chip that he isn’t really needed anymore and I can become the new permanent host of the Chip Chantry One Man Show! I’m drunk with my newfound power. Braw-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

**a chocolate lab