Needless to say, people all across Philadelphia have been wondering where Johnny Goodtimes will land on Tuesday nights at 10:15 p.m. But instead of just announcing it, JGT decided to get interviewed by Jim Gray so he could talk a bit more about himself. Here is the transcript of that interview, with the decision after the jump.
Thank you very much. Everybody is on pins and needles across the country, particularly those bars who are in the running for Johnny Goodtimes. Are you ready to go Johnny? Where is the powder?
What powder?
The baby powder you throw into the air before each quizzo.
I don’t do that. Someone could slip and fall on the powder and then I’d find myself in legal trouble.
What have you thought about this process?
This process has been everything I’ve thought and more. I enjoy any process that revolves around me, Johnny Goodtimes. Did I mention that I’m donating all of the money earned from this interview to the Orphans of Oddfellows?
You weren’t able to be recruited because you went straight to Quizmaster from a job waiting tables while dressed in a colonial outfit. Have you enjoyed this recruiting process now?
I have enjoyed it. It’s been an unbelievable experience, a real humbling experience to be even to be in this position. But I’m sure it’s even more humbling for the bars that have had a chance to talk to me.
How many people know your decision right now?
Not many. It’s a very, very small number. I probably could count them on my fingers.
One hand or two hands?
Well, I would use one hand to count the fingers on the other hand, so would that count as one or two?
When did you decide?
I think I decided this morning. I mean, I decided this morning, but I went day to day. I wake up one morning, it’s this bar. I wake up another morning, it’s this bar. I wake up another morning, and I can’t find my toothbrush. So then I go to Walgreens and buy a new one. And while I’m there I pick up some dog food. What was the question again?
So the last time you changed your mind was yesterday?
The last time I changed my mind was probably in my dreams. As real as it may seem. It was only in my dreams.
Who in this process, Johnny, have you taken advice from and who has had the biggest influence?
I’ve taken a lot of advice from my friends and family. And there was a guy in Rittenhouse yesterday that was mumbling something about government mind control. He seemed to know what he was talking about, so I took some advice from him.
Would you like to sleep on it a little longer, or are you ready to make this decision?
That depends. Who would I be sleeping with?
Are you still a nail biter?
I’ve never bit my nails.
You’ve had everybody else biting their nails. So I guess it’s time for them to stop chewing. The answer to the question everybody wants to know: Johnny, what’s your decision?
In this fall, this is very tough, in this fall I’m going to take my talents to…
University City and join the City Tap House (3925 Walnut)! This is going to be a great quiz. Amazing prizes, $3 Sly Fox cans, and pizza served until midnight. And we are starting immediately. That’s right, this coming Tuesday night at 10:15 p.m. we are on like Donkey Kong. I’m excited to move into new territory and confident that this is going to be a great quiz at a great bar. Hope to see ya there!
Did this place open yesterday, or recently change its name? I live in the neighborhood and constantly walk down that section of Walnut– I was walking down it within the last hour– and I’m not familiar with the place.
BTW, Johnny Goodtimes, we who live in this particular area prefer to call our ‘hood West Philadelphia, decidedly not University City. Calling it UC is giving way too much credit and prominence to those scumbag Penn people who already tend to feel a few shades too good about themselves, and also are inclined to think the world revolves around them and their petty little concerns. So don’t encourage the wankers.