The JGT Power Rankings

powerranksThey’re back for the first time since Quizzo Bowl. And with Lambda offering only a token defense of their title, they have quickly slid down the rankings. Furthermore, with a lot of interesting developments the past couple of weeks, they are rather surprising.

  1. L. Ron Hubbard’s Diabetics. Simple: they’re the only team to go undefeated since Quizzo Bowl, and that includes a one point win over a stacked Steak Em Up team last Tuesday at Bards. Their 15th place finish at the Bowl, however, has numerous critics howling at this selection.
  2. Duane’s World. They’ve won 3 straight at Black Sheep, won at the Vous when Black Sheep cancelled for St. Pattie’s Day, and have won 2 of the first 4 at Westbury (yes, Mike’s quiz counts in the power rankings). In addition, their sister squad, Eschaton, finished 3rd at Quizzo Bowl and beat Steak Em Up two weeks ago. They’re on fire.
  3. Steak Em Up. Close but no cigar has been the name of the game for Steak Em Up since Quizzo Bowl. A one point loss Tuesday, an overtime loss last Thursday, and a two point loss the week before has people wondering if Steak Em Up has taken over Donovan’s role as official city choker.
  4. Savage Ear. With Where’s Jon’s Rum retiring from O’Neals quizzo and Lambda resting on their laurels, Savage Ear has rushed in to fill the power vacuum left by their departure. 3 wins in the last 4 weeks.
  5. Lambda. Yeah, they won Quizzo Bowl. Yawn. That was a month ago, and little has been seen of them since. Fishtown’s Finest are like a boxer who wins the title and then refuses to fight anybody for 10 months so they can still be called “Champ” when they go to the grocery store.
  6. Slicklizzard (aka the Champs) They’re baaaack. Nice to see the legendary Champs crew back on the scene. They’ve won twice at Ugly American on Monday and two weeks ago at the Rendezvous.
  7. The Jams. Speaking of the Rendezvous, hard to get a grip on ranking the teams there, as it is by far the most evenly matched bar. However the Jams are the only team to win more than once in the last 6 weeks, and they’ve been top 3 each of those weeks, so they get the nod.
  8. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion. Really establishing themselves as Philly’s finest 2nd place teams. You have to wonder: if they got the whole team out instead of just three or four the last few weeks, would they winning these close games?
  9. Death Panel Killed Grandma. Come out of nowhere to pull off upset at the Vous this week. One week wonders, or real contenders on the scene?
  10. Magnus ver Magnusson. One win, one place, and one show in the past month has Magnus living large.

Also receiving votes: Same Name as Last Week, Inglorious Barristers, CatDog, Joe Spector, April Fools, Tooth Wind and Fire, 5th Estate, Phillie RNs

Special “Most Spirited Team” Award: Team Friendship, Bards.

25 thoughts on “The JGT Power Rankings

  1. Yo, this entire list is corny as fuck. I've been to Quizzo and I've seen these teams, and trust me, most of these dudes are an embarrassment to their families. Only cool team on the list is Team Friendship, those guys kill shit at Bard's. They never win, mainly because they're not grade-A trivia dorks like all these other chumps, but they're always entertaining. They just exude spirit and friendship and they're always having a good time. Not like those dickwads on Steak Em Up, who always win but sit there lookin' sad as fuck because they know they'll never kiss a girl without paying her first. Buncha dumbass team names too. “Oh, we'll name ourselves DUANE'S WORLD! It's like WAYNE'S WORLD, only my name is DUANE!” Fuck outta here with that nonsense. Narcotyzing Disfunktion sounds like a German thrash metal band with an autistic lead singer. And don't even get me started on The Jams, whoever named that team is the laziest cornball ever. Step your name game up, nerds.

    1. I've always thought shit needed killing. Thank you, Team Friendship, for performing a valuable service.

  2. Dumbass has got a point about team names. So, what's the best team name ever, JGT? I think “Free Mumia, with a Purchase of Mumia of Equal or Lesser Value” was my favorite.

  3. This site needs waaaaay more input from “Name.” The only other decent nut-job we have is Bob, and we've all seen his show many times before. I mean, he brings a consistent product, but I want a little chocolate with my vanilla. “Name”, I am holding up my lighter, hoping you trot out for an encore. Dude! Bring it!

  4. “Name” is clearly a regular of some sort in disguise, hoping to get a rise out of people. Or maybe he's that guy from Fishtown.

  5. I don't understand why you call me a “nut job,” Mr. Hunter. I'm pretty connected with reality. As I've pointed out before, I'm not the one who believes ridiculous horseshit such as Obamacare is going to improve health care in this country and lower costs at the same time. I also didn't think Obama was “going to bring us together,” or run the “most transparent administration in history.” I thought and still think that he's a lying sack of shit. I also thought that the surge in Iraq had a good chance of success and didn't believe, like a certain president and his slavish admirers, that it had absolutely no chance of success and would only make things worse. I didn't think it would be advisable or even possible to close Gitmo in one year. (Deadline was four months ago and counting.) I didn't think Iran would abandon their nuclear weapons ambitions and negotiate, because Obama smiled at them and asked them to do so pretty please with sugar on top.. I didn't think the Muslim world would suddenly embrace us because Obama apologized for all the horrible stuff we supposedly did to them. And I also never thought al Qaida would go away after George W. Bush left office. I could go on and on. I'm not the “nut job” here. I've been consistently right in my opinions. It's the people who believe silly shit like the above who are the deluded ones around here.

    1. You are indeed consistent. If the question involves sending someone else to his death, you know Bob is for it. The sad thing is that there is a significant proportion of the population which believes as Bob does, that any war is a good war as long as other people are fighting it. This guy is a walking billboard for the reinstitution of the draft. If people's own kids were the ones that Bob would have marching to Tehran next week, there would be a groundswell of opposition to these adventures.

      Let's see, in addition to the pure goodness of the war in Iraq, you were in favor of instigating the Georgian government to antagonize and throw out the Russians. That went pretty well. You are in favor of putting missiles on the Russian border, supposedly to guard against Iran. And if you believe that, I have not one, but two bridges to sell you. We might as well march on Moscow as well, since if Palin can hear Putin coming over the horizon from Alaska, we certainly would sniff him out from our perches in Eastern Europe. PAX AMERICANA!!!

  6. I'll say one thing. You are a durable and prolific performer. Your willingness to run the same old show out there every night, despite the torrent of boos and rotten tomatoes, is laudable. Rock on, Neil Diamond! America salutes you!

  7. I notice that you seem to have no problem sending other people's children off to war now that Obama has taken over the show. Anti-war sentiment has pretty much dried up these days. Demonstrate and rail against the wars of a Democrat? Hell, no fun there.

    I might also point out that your hero, Obama, has pretty much adopted the entire Bush anti-terrorism program, in a piecemeal fashion, of course, and bad-mouthing his predecessor every step of the way, and such criticism is, incidentally, unprecedented in the annals of the presidential behavior. Rendition, indefinite detention, passage of extension of the Patriot Act without so much as a murmur from the Democrats, Gitmo continuing to remain open, military tribunals– the trashing of the constitution continues apace without any murmurs from hypocrites such as yourself. Nothing to see here, folks. Move along.

    Your constant harping about the draft simply shows how out of touch and uninformed you are about anything connected with the military. Except for the unlikely event of a total war of long duration, the draft is gone forever. It is impractical, as well as unpopular with both the public and THE MILITARY, who do not want a constant revolving door of short-term, raw and unmotivated recruits staffing what has evolved over the years into a professional military.

    Your repeated bullshit argument about “sending other people's children off to war” is so inane and illogical anyway that it hardly merits a response. I never wanted to be a policeman and I wouldn't particularly want my children to be cops either. I suspect you feel the same way about your children. Does this then mean you're opposed to law enforcement? You probably don't wish your children to become carpenters or plumbers or electricians. Does that mean you're opposed to the building trades? What a stupid argument. What a stupid, stupid argument.

    I don't espousing any of the statements about the Georgians or Russians that you attribute to me. This is what I believe is called setting up “straw men.” Why don't you stop making up shit about me and stick to the opinions I actually state?

    1. The reason the draft turned what you described is because the rich and powerful were able to get out of it. If you doubt me just ask our former VP.

    2. The reason the draft turned what you described is because the rich and powerful were able to get out of it. If you doubt me just ask our former VP.

      1. Oh… I think that there were whole lots more people opposed to the draft than our former VP and the wealthy. In my experience, opposition to and avoidance of the draft transcended class and economic lines. But what do you suggest? Should we reinstitute the draft? Maybe we could have a draft only for people whose parents earn more than $250,000.00 per year. Would that work for you?

        I personally think that since gays and lesbians are so upset about “Don't Ask Don't Tell,” that we should re-institute the draft and draft only gays and lesbians. It would function as a sort of affirmative action program to make up for past discrimination and greatly increase the numbers of gays and lesbians in the services. And those folks seem so pissed off about being denied the opportunity to enlist and serve. So we give them what they want. We could solve several problema all at once.

    1. Indeed. The earth is warming. Now that he has brought us affordable health care, ended terrorism, brought us together, and instructed us on the basics of civility in public debate, perhaps Obama can now turn his divine gaze and attention toward saving the planet through a cap and trade regime to limit carbon emissions.

  8. Goodtimes, if you ever get Bob and Palestra Jon in a Hell in a Cell cage match, please webcast it so I can watch in VA. Their political shouting matches are making for annoying, yet surprisingly captivating, comment sections both here and isportacus.

    1. Bob and I, who are old enough to remember “60 Minutes” in the '70s, simply long for the old “Point Counterpoint” segment in which a lefty (originally the great Nicholas Von Hoffman, who was replaced by Shana Alexander—the inspiration for Jane Curtin's spoof of the segment) took on a righty (James Kilpatrick) in a 3 minute bit which at least originally was no holds barred. Once Shana took over for Von Hoffman, it was too polite and the segment was replaced by Andy Rooney in '79.

      But in the spirit of your post, I make this observation:

      Bob, you ignorant slut!

    1. He is, however, not so easy that he is unable to distinguish between the preposition “to” and the adverb “too.”

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