I Think We Have a Winner

trouble-everydayAnd it’s not even really close, even though the facebook suggestion of Cannibal Holocaust certainly carried some intrigue. Here is Gabe’s story, in case you missed it in the comments:

The worst first date movie I or anybody else ever took someone to see is “Trouble Every Day,” which was the last film being shown the last day of the Philadelphia Film Festival about 7 years ago. I had been flirting over the bar where I worked with a woman for weeks, and we had talked about going to the Festival, but I never got up the nerve to ask her to go. The day before the Festival ended, sensing my chance to ask her out without it being awkward almost over, I finally ask her if she wants to go on the last night with me. I had no idea what film they were showing, and I failed to mention that to her. She agrees, no questions asked.
The movie, starring a pre-Brown Bunny Vincent Gallo, has about 20 words of dialogue and revolves around a group of de facto vampires who walk around, having brutal, graphic sex with people, then eating parts of their bodies. In one scene the woman rips the lips off the man beneath her with her teeth, in another a man goes down on a woman and proceeds to actually eat her…oh, and there’s a scene where Gallo masturbates against the glass door of a shower, avec money shot.People walked out of the theater cursing. I mustered up the courage to look at her once during the film, just to see if she was still there or if she had called 911. She was, and she didn’t, though, in retrospect, I guess I wish I had walked out myself. We ended up going out for two more years.

5 thoughts on “I Think We Have a Winner

  1. Well at least both he and she can be thankful that he didn't take her to “An Inconvenient Truth.” I would much rather see “Trouble Every Day.” It sounds much more worthwhile.

  2. Here's an Inconvenient Truth, Bob: you are mentally unwell and should be walled up somewhere, or shot, or whatever it is people like you do with, er… people like you. If I thought you were trying to be funny by commenting on every car that goes by, that would be one thing. But you, my Kraut Mick friend, are nuts.

  3. Actually, I did have my tongue kind of nestled in my cheek with this particular comment, but I wouldn't expect a slow learner special Olympics lib Dem like you to keep up with my subtle use of irony. And what's this Kraut Mick crap? An ethnic slur? I suppose I might possibly have some German in my background, but it's mostly good old Anglo-Saxon with a small dash of Irish thrown in for laughs.

  4. And I don't really comment under every post that comes along. But you can hardly expect me to remain silent when Goodtimes mentions me by name. I'm not so vain that I think every song is about me.

    But I should try to be gentle with you because you're no doubt in mourning for Michael Jackson who passed over today and went to that big kindergarten in the sky. My condolences to you.

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