Month: October 2008

Good For Her

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When I was in the 4th grade, a kid named Matt H. (Front row, 2nd from right, with the pink ears. That’s me next to him, in all white.) used to always pick on me, and I would always come home in tears. Finally, my mom had had enough. So she said, “Call him and challenge him to a fight tomorrow.” I was astounded. My mom has never been a violent person at all, but apparently she realized that every once in a while, a person’s gotta stand up for themselves (and she knew that I was going to be calling his bluff.) So I called Matt H. and the conversation went as follows:

  • JGT: Hey Matt.
  • Matt: Hey.
  • JGT: Hey listen, I’m just calling to challenge you to a fight out by my swingset at 10 o’clock tomorrow morning.
  • Matt: Um, hold on a second. Let me go ask my mom. (long pause) Hey, my mom says I can’t fight you tomorrow. But do you want to go to the movies tonight?
  • JGT (Who was scared to death that he might accept the challenge): Yeah, sure!

And Matt H. and I have been friends ever since. So when I read about this mom in Dover who drove her daughter to the house of a girl who had been picking on her and told her to fight, I said, “Right on!” Yeah, the cops are pissed and the media won’t give you a fair shake, but every once in a while you gotta stand up to a bully, critics be damned. And, according to this story, the bully got her ass beat. Good on ya, I say. Maybe if the bully had invited her to the movies, none of this would have ever happened.

This is really, really cool

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What if George Washington hadn’t been the first person to ever turn down the idea of being King for the good of his country? Who would be King now? George had no direct descendants, so the question is kind of tough to answer, but somebody at ancestry.com was able to figure it out. And if GW had declared himself King? Things would probably be about the same as they are now. The man who would be King is a George Bush supporter. Sidenote: my sister had a Custis in her class at school that was a direct descendant of Martha Washington (nee Custis) by her first husband. I wonder if that side of the family would have attempted to overthrow the Washingtons. Probably.
RELATED: A sort of Beckish rap about George Washington. (NSFW) Pretty funny.

Somebody has a crush on Me! Yessssss!

Now a lot of you probably think that I just sort through missed connections on craigslist everyday, hoping against hope that someday someone will leave a missed connection for a certain quizmaster. That accusation is nothing short of outlandish, and I can’t believe you even made it. That being said, I was searching through missed connections on Craigslist the other day for the first time in my entire life and happened to come across this. Awwww. I don’t know who it is, but needless to say I have a crush on them too.

Going off the Rails is this Crazy McCain

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McCain’s attacks on Obama recently have shrieked of desperation, as the right wing talking points now are the same tired topics that were relevant 6 months ago, when Hillary was trying to knock off Obama. But Obama has proven more evasive than Kerry with the Swift Boat or the Flip flopping, and in the midst of a horrific economic downturn that has American’s freaked, McCain’s attacks about people Obama served on an education board with in the mid 90s is just white noise. Obama won the first debate and he won again last night, with McCain’s only “highlight” being his cringeworthy “That One” comment. McCain’s current strategy seems to be, “I am so disgusted by this man that I won’t even call him by name.” It doesn’t seem to be working. Why? Because we saw hateful character attacks in 2000 by Bush (McCain has a black baby) and in 2004 (Swift Boat) and what did voting out of fear get this country? One of the three worst presidents in the history of this country, a man whose approval ratings are lower than Nixon’s on the day he resigned. McCain seems to have cast his lot, but it simply seems to paint him as a sad, angry old man, willing to shed his dignity and honor to sling mud, thinking that it’s the only way he can pull off an upset and defeat “That One.” It is a sad ending to the storied career of a great American.

Quizzo Tonight

We kick it off at O’Neals at 8 p.m. with Why is the Rum Gone Trying to Win for the 3rd time in three weeks. We then move over to the Bards, where the Narcotyzing Dysfunktion will try to do the impossible: throw back to back no-hitters. Goodtimes has vowed to not let that happen. Expect tonight’s questions to be a little tougher than normal.
Alright, I gotta go work on questions, but in the meantime check out the new sign in the window at Pat’s, the Eagle fans throwing eggs at the Redskin team bus, and maybe, just maybe an answer to a question at this weeks quizzo over at totalphilly.com.

I Heart Manayunk!!!

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Finally a website that adores Manayunk as much as we do! Looks like it isn’t updated all that often, but I found the following write up fascinating: The one major thing I noticed is that either Manayunk is becoming more like Olde City, or otherwise people are just beginning to dress like it. Whatever happened to Manayunk being the chill, summer spot to go when you’re not down the shore? I didn’t realize that leaopard-print minis on girls and v-neck tight black tees on guys were in-style for a Philly suburb outdoor deck bar. I mean, come on, people!! Oh, and another thing…stop shoving your tongue down your boyfriend’s throat in public! That’s just gross.

Apparently the author of this column just opened her eyes for the first time. Manayunk has long been the worst place in the entire Philadelphia area, including Old City. I mean, I have had a good time in Old City before. I have never had a good time in Manayunk. Of course, I haven’t been back for a couple of years now. I think I need to make a triumphant return and have an awful night.