JGT in Comedy Show tonight

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Yes, I know the Eagles are playing the Cowboys. Yes, I know that probably no-one will show up. But the hell with it. I haven’t done stand up in a while and need to get my chops back. So if anyone wants to see me fail miserably, then be at the Khyber tonight at 8:00 p.m. If you tell me you came after seeing this on my site I will buy you a beer. $5 to get in and beers are dirt cheap. And after my little run in with Hipster Nation last week, I might even get a few hecklers. We’ll be done by 10, so you will not miss the 2nd half of the game (And that’s the only one that matters anyway.) I think I might go down to Nick’s Roast Beef to catch the 2nd half. Chip is hosting the show and two of my favorite comedians in Philly, Dennis Horan and Amir Gollan, are in the starting lineup. Hope to see you there.

Alf Landon Bad Writing Contest Deadline Today!

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The Deadline for the First Annual Alf Landon Bad Writing Contest is today at 11:59 p.m. Be sure to get your entries in by then! I’ve gotten some great ones so far, and I’d love to get a few more. Winner gets two tix to the Academy of Natural Sciences and a $20 gift certificate to the Bards. Send your entries in by emailing them to me. I won’t add your email address to my mailing list (unless you want me to.) I’m way too lazy for that. By the way, I just thought of a new one:

Landon, light of my life, fire of my loins.

Scoreboard, Brought to you by Milton Berle and Statler and Waldorf

O’NEALS

  1. We Got Nothin’ 91
  2. Young Old Restless 90
  3. EPM 78
  4. Mike Hunt’s Clam Juice 74
  5. My Dacky Wears Adidas 58

BARDS

  1. Sofa Kingdom 110
  2. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion 105
  3. Bring Back RJ Swindle 97
  4. This is my first time…Be Gentle 95
  5. The Homosexual Agenda 84

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

  1. Trust Us We Know 105
  2. Spongebob 89
  3. 1022 85
  4. The jams 83
  5. You Can Put Lipstick on Barack… 70

BLACK SHEEP

  1. Duane’s World 108
  2. TO Has BO 106
  3. Axis of Evil Knieval 104
  4. CatDog 99
  5. Doc Eison’s Leisure Time Products 98

GOOD DOG

  1. Double D List Celebrities 93
  2. Oakwood Rectal Exam 91
  3. C+ Average 74
  4. Team Ketchup 73
  5. Balls in an Urn 54

BARDS

  1. Sofa Kingdom 109
  2. The Lord Cometh…Twice 91
  3. Stop Being a B***** 83
  4. Almost as Good As Bad Sex 82
  5. 3’s Company, 4’s a Crowd 78