Month: August 2008

Scoreboard, Brought to you by Last Placers at Black Sheep

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O’NEALS

  1. Young, Old and Restless 108
  2. Team #7 106
  3. Scrotto Saggins 106
  4. Frackin Toasters 101
  5. She Works Here 87

BARDS

  1. Sofa Kingdom 104
  2. Hurtin’ Bombs 100
  3. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion 87
  4. Bulgaria is For Lovers 83
  5. Touch Dicks 81

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

  1. The Jams 111
  2. But My Mom Says I’m Cool 107
  3. Barry’s Energy Policy 97
  4. Susan’s Peters 94
  5. 1022 93

BLACK SHEEP

  1. The Michael Phelps of Quizzo 88
  2. Duane’s World 85
  3. Catdog 85
  4. Pressed Ham 78
  5. East German Olympic Team 77

GOOD DOG

  1. Straightjacket and Tights 93
  2. Diego’s Panties 90
  3. Shomer Shabbas 77
  4. Ezekiel 25:17 75
  5. Cornbread Mafia 72

BARDS

  1. Sofa Kingdom 109
  2. Touch Dicks 103
  3. Eschaton 102
  4. Wait…Freddie Mercury was Gay? 76
  5. Jessie Spano’s Caffeine Pills 69

Wow.

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Really, his convention role is unclear? I think it should be very clear: John Edwards may not come within 2,000 miles of the convention. What a skeevy snake. My favorite line in all of this so far came from a Huffington Post commenter: Who says a $400 haircut doesn’t get you chicks? It was the HP that raised some questions about Rielle Hunter in the first place, back in September. Off to Phils game. Scoreboard manana.

Happy 08-08-08 Everyone!

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As if 08-08-08 wasn’t eerie enough, get this: both Drew Lachey and JC Chasez are celebrating their 32nd birthdays today. So trippy. Scoreboard and pics of a couple of quizzo cuties on the way this afternoon. In the meantime, read the story of the German terrorists who were supposed to wreak havoc in the US during WWII, only to completely screw it up. It happened on this date in 1942. And read a bit about the trouble detectives are having solving a sheep sexual assault case-because the suspects are twins, and they only think that one of them is guilty.

Watching Ryan Howard Field First Base is Like…

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  • watching a quadripalegic operate a forklift.
  • watching George Bush read.
  • watching Larry Mendte do the Superman.
  • watching a man with no thumbs use chopsticks.
  • watching Ryan Howard hit a slider from a left handed pitcher.
  • watching a blind man drive a dump truck.
  • watching JGT trying to pick up a woman at a bar.
  • watching John Popper take off a life preserver.

Got any other ideas for what watching Howard play first base is like? Post ’em below.

Um, yeah, good luck with that

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The NFL just unveiled a new Fan Code of Conduct: drunk and “disruptive” fans can be ejected from stadiums or parking lots without refund — and stripped of their season tickets. The same goes for fans who verbally or physically harass other fans, use obscene language or gestures or interfere with the game by throwing objects onto the field. Fans who become drunk or unruly during pregame tailgating will not be allowed into stadiums.

Fans becoming drunk during pregame tailgating will not be allowed into stadiums? Yeah that should go over well for the 50,000 Philadelphians whose entire lives revolve around becoming drunk during pregame tailgating and then going into stadiums. But other than that (and I’m sure I’ll catch heat for this), I think this is a good policy. Listen, I’m all for getting drunk and cheering on your team. But truth be told, the level of obnoxiousness I’ve witnessed at Eagles games is beyond absurd, to the point of being disgusting. Sorry glutton, but save your beer throwing, vomiting, and sexist/racist/homophobic screams for Wing Bowl. (scroll down.) But don’t worry, Eagle fans. You can still boo your quarterback, even though he’s the best one the team’s ever had. They can stop you from being drunk, but they can’t stop you from being stupid.