Month: June 2008

FLESH TUXEDO EDGES HURTIN KINGDOM AT PACKED KIMMEL CENTER

picresized_1214294072_DSCF0663.jpg
It was a thriller at the Kimmel Center on Saturday night, as a packed house of I’d say (roughly) 150 people played to determine who would win the first ever Summer Solstice Spectacular. In the end, we had a shocker, as the Flesh Tuxedo edged the Hurtin Kingdom (a mashup of the Sofas and the Bombs), 104-103. It all came down to the final question. “What legendary water ice shop will you find on 7th and Christian?” The Kingdom answered Jack’s (wrong), the Tuxedo answered John’s (right), and that was the difference in the contest. I’ll try to post some questions a little later, and will also talk a little more about the other acts as well. Click “Continue reading” below to see all of the final scores.

Continue reading “FLESH TUXEDO EDGES HURTIN KINGDOM AT PACKED KIMMEL CENTER” →

Scores and Pics this afternoon

Gonna go grab some breakfast with the parents. Be back this afternoon with scores from the Kimmel Center Show (which by the way was awesome. Big ups to everybody who came out.) Also, I’ll have to tell you about seeing not one but two 1980s hip hop legends over the weekend. One of them was great, one was lame. Details this afternoon. In the meantime, here’s some great George Carlin quotes. One of my favorites is: The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”

Scoreboard, Brought to You By Richard Simmons (This is the Funniest thing ever)


O’NEALS

  1. Testicular Fortitude 102
  2. Goodbye Bobbie 100
  3. Dorksided 97
  4. Young, Old and Restless 90
  5. L. Ron Hubbard’s Diabetics 89

BARDS

  1. Sofa Kingdom 107
  2. El Narcotizo 105
  3. Hurtin Bombs 102
  4. The Epidermitologist 81
  5. Cold Popeyes For Breakfast 77

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

  1. But My Mom Says I’m Cool 97
  2. Meet the Cemetary 91
  3. Drunk Baby Brighton Early 89
  4. 1022 72
  5. Good bya Minaya 67

BLACK SHEEP

  1. The Axis of Evil Knieval 103
  2. Duane’s World 97
  3. Ass Destruction 89
  4. Penn Fifteen Club 85
  5. Ebony Ovines 66

GOOD DOG

  1. The Penn Fifteen Club 89
  2. Chelsea’s Kosher Kitchen 86
  3. Morningwood 71
  4. Rocket Scientists 70
  5. Pelvis Breastley 66

BARDS

  1. Hurtin Bombs 101
  2. The Excessively Hirsute 98
  3. Sofa Kingdom 95
  4. Jesse and the Rippers 95
  5. Western Omelette 84

Soccer Action! Get Excited!

full.getty-fbl-wc2006-match49-ger-swe-fan_10_35_31_am.jpg
Big match today between Germany and Portugal! SPOILER ALERT: Nothing will happen for a while and then several guys will fall on the ground holding their ankles and then nothing will happen for a long time and then hey look, boobs! (Pretty safe for work, unless you can’t look at girl in bikinis or body paint.)
UPDATE: Germany wins 3-2, which we’re pretty sure is the highest scoring game in the history of soccer.

Dirty Hipsters Get What’s Coming to Them

dn.jpg
On our pantheon of people we don’t like, hipsters fall somewhere between New Jersey drivers and Boston Red Sox fans. So we were tickled pink when we saw that a few of them in Francisville got strong-armed by the police a few days ago. After a search of their shelled out home, the cops quickly concluded that they were more than mere hipsters, they were possible terrorists. “They’re a hate group,” (Police Captain Dennis Wilson) asserted. “We’re trying to drum up charges against them, but, unfortunately, we’ll probably have to let them go.”

Of course they are a hate group. They’re hipsters. They hate everything. They hate fun, they hate sports, they hate people, they hate laughter. They are the walking definition of a hate group.

My suggestion for the “Francisville Four”? Go back to listening to the Puffy Doorknobs or whatever random band you’re going to love for the next 15 minutes before you suddenly decide that they’ve sold out for playing in a venue that has electricity and then hate on them over the Champagne of Beers at Johnny Brenda’s. And shave that damn beard off. It’s summertime, fool.

RELATED: Our prediction? Philebrity hosts some sort of Belle and Sebastian dance party fund raiser for these clowns.