Quizzo Bowl IV: Legendary

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Those of you who saw me on Wednesday night saw a nearly broken man. I had sold only about 150 tickets (these things are usually sold out by the Wednesday before), and, having expected to sell numerous tickets at the Black Sheep that night, I sold one. There was no hope of getting help from the TV or the papers. There was no money in the budget for advertising. The Inquirer, after making overtures of doing a story on it, backed off. The Weekly and the City Paper decided not to cover it for the first time ever. After three straight classics, it looked like Quizzo Bowl IV was gonna be a dud. And it would be a failure in front of the Burnin’ Loves, a band made up of guys I had grown up with. But, in a show of what an incredible community we have, things started to turn around, Blues Brothers style. Trivia Art posted a contest on Foobooz, D-Mac did the same on PhiladelphiaWillDo. Dark Horse John sent a message to his listserve. Jam Master Sean told the RPS crowd. Chip posted bulletins on Myspace, as did Steve O., Smackdown, and the Lovely Ginger. Gabe and Andy at the Temple Law School posted flyers all over the facility, while I posted them on bulletin boards, walls and bathroom doors at Temple and Penn. Despite being ignored by the press, the buzz started to spread, and by the time doors opened at the Blue Horizon at 7 p.m., a sea of people poured through. In the end, it worked out incredibly. I had set up 38 tables of 8 eight each, and in the end every seat was filled, for a total of 304 people, our 4th consecutive Quizzo Bowl sellout.

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As for the event itself, it was legendary. The Burning Loves opened sans Black Elvis, and got the crowd warmed up with a few classics, such as “Hard to Handle” and “Me and Bobby McGee”. JGT broke his promise of not rapping, and opened with “Mama Said Knock You Out”. Then we began a rather difficult easy round. Of the 38 teams, only one, Dork Sided, got all 12 questions correct. The much maligned defending champs, the Sofa Kingdom, aced Round Two, and took the lead after the first two rounds. It was then time for the halftime show, featuring Chip Chantry and the Legendary WID. Chip’s set went pretty well, despite the fact that the audio was a little off in the old building. Then came the WID. I wish he had performed on stage instead of in front, because I think some people in the back couldn’t really see what was going on.

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Long story short, he got sha-na-nad off the stage, despite pulling out two stuffed lions, and saying “Hey, I’ve got my pride,” then dry humping one of the lions and saying, “What do you think I’m F****** Lion?” (How is that not hilarious? I just don’t get you people.) There are already talks of a “WID’s Revenge” show, so stay tuned.

On to Round Three, the wild card round. After starting off slowly, two time champions the Champs (aka Rob’s Zombies) were one of only two teams to pull off a perfect round, and moved within a question of the lead heading into the final round. The other team to have a perfect round three, Lambda Lambda Lambda had a narrow lead, with 71 points. MAGMA was close behind with 69, and Blowback Chicken Army (featuring Triva Art, D-Mac, Smackdown, and a few Western Omelette’s) were in 3rd with 68. The Kingdom and the Zombies both had 67. Dork Sided, looking for the upset, was still within a question of the lead, with 66.
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Meanwhile, between rounds, Black Elvis had completely caught fire. His booming voice and the bands rollicking play had the place rocking. Suspicious Minds was amazing, Hound Dog was downright nasty, and they ended the night by getting away from the Elvis with a little Chuck Berry “Johnny B. Good”. By the end of the night, the nerd elite were dancing in the aisles. Unreal.

But back to the action. Round Four, which kicked off with Eye of the Tiger playing in the background, was a doozy. When the dust settled, the Resevous Dogs aka The Jams, with an impressive final round, had moved to 5th place. MAGMA finished in 4th. Rob’s Zombies, despite losing their effervescent leader during the previous year (I missed him eating other peoples food while taking his table at this year’s Quizzo Bowl. And great team name. I am quite certain that would approve.), finished an impressive third. So it came down to two teams. The defending champs the Sofa Kingdom and Steve O.’s team, Lambda Lambda Lambda. The crowd began banging on the tables as I prepared to read off the winners, followed by an actual drum roll. Ladies and gentlemen, “Your 2008 Quizzo Bowl Champions…Lambda Lambda Lambda!”
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The crowd went wild, the Kingdom hung their heads, and the Lambdas began jumping up and down as if they had just made the Final Four. The Kingdom hung their heads as if their three pointer at the buzzer had grazed the iron. Unlike the Final Four, there were no TV news crews there to record the moment, no write-ups about it in the Sunday paper. But there is no denying that the Kingdom was overthrown. The Revolution was not televised, but I’ll be damned if it wasn’t a hell of a lot of fun.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Your Quizzo Bowl IV Champions, Lambda Lambda Lambda

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Congratulations to your 2008 championship team, Lamda Lamda Lamda, at the 4th consecutive sold out Quizzo Bowl! I had fun. I hope you guys did too. Be back with a full wrap up, lots of photos, and a full scoreboard so you can see how your team did on Monday. I am now gonna kick back on the couch for the next 10 hours and watch basketball and baseball while eating unhealthy food and passing in and out of consciousness. If you got any good shots of last nights show, please send em to me. I’m gonna do a photo gallery manana.

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OK, gang, here is a final rundown of everything you need to know about the most prestigious Quizzo event in the history of the world.

  • HOW TO GET TICKETS: Click here. There will be also be tickets at the door. However, I only have a certain amount of tables set up for teams. Once they are filled, doors close. I have about 220 sold and room for about 60 more people. To ensure yourself a seat, get your tickets now. If you are going to get your tickets there, I would suggest being there when doors open at 7 p.m. Online sales end tonight.
  • WHERE: Legendary Blue Horizon (1314 North Broad Street) Cross street is Thompson, two blocks north of Girard. I will have cab numbers in the program so you can call for a cab after the event.
  • WHEN: Tomorrow night! Doors open at 7 p.m., band comes on at 7:30 p.m., quizzo start at about 8:15 p.m.
  • WHAT DO I GET FOR MY MONEY: For a mere $25, you get all you can drink Sly Fox (at least until we kick 6 kegs), Black Elvis, Chip Chantry, and the Legendary WID, probably my favorite comedian in Philly. Oh yeah, and a shot at the $1,000 purse. Also, I will have lots of gift certificates to give away in random drawings. In addition, the first 100 people through the door get a free copy of Mental Floss magazine. You will not find a better deal than this in Philadelphia this weekend. Or ever, for that matter.
  • FOOD AND DRINK: Like I said, plenty of beer. Will also have several bottles of wine, for the sissies more sophisticated palates. As far as food, I would suggest eating before you arrive. I will have soft pretzels, courtesy of the Philly Pretzel Factory, and some chips, but nothing too hearty. There will be also be food for sale at the afterparty.
  • AFTERPARTY: Going down at the Urban Saloon. Great bar, if you haven’t already been. They are totally styling us out with $2.50 drafts and $3.50 imports and crafts. They will also have food for sale (they have good, inexpensive food).
  • HOW DO I GET SO MUCH BANG FOR MY BUCK? Thanks to the sponsors on the right side of the page, we were able to keep prices extremely reasonable. I cannot thank them enough for their contributions to this event. I do ask that you please check them out when you get a chance.

Oh, and one more thing: I have known several member so the Burnin’ Loves since I was about 5 years old. So tomorrow night is your chance to find out what a loser popular guy I was in high school. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. This is gonna be a blast. Hope to see you there!

Elvis-Presley.jpg
OK, gang, here is a final rundown of everything you need to know about the most prestigious Quizzo event in the history of the world.

  • HOW TO GET TICKETS: Click here. There will be also be tickets at the door. However, I only have a certain amount of tables set up for teams. Once they are filled, doors close. I have about 220 sold and room for about 60 more people. To ensure yourself a seat, get your tickets now. If you are going to get your tickets there, I would suggest being there when doors open at 7 p.m. Online sales end tonight.
  • WHERE: Legendary Blue Horizon (1314 North Broad Street) Cross street is Thompson, two blocks north of Girard. I will have cab numbers in the program so you can call for a cab after the event.
  • WHEN: Tomorrow night! Doors open at 7 p.m., band comes on at 7:30 p.m., quizzo start at about 8:15 p.m.
  • WHAT DO I GET FOR MY MONEY: For a mere $25, you get all you can drink Sly Fox (at least until we kick 6 kegs), Black Elvis, Chip Chantry, and the Legendary WID, probably my favorite comedian in Philly. Oh yeah, and a shot at the $1,000 purse. Also, I will have lots of gift certificates to give away in random drawings. In addition, the first 100 people through the door get a free copy of Mental Floss magazine. You will not find a better deal than this in Philadelphia this weekend. Or ever, for that matter.
  • FOOD AND DRINK: Like I said, plenty of beer. Will also have several bottles of wine, for the sissies more sophisticated palates. As far as food, I would suggest eating before you arrive. I will have soft pretzels, courtesy of the Philly Pretzel Factory, and some chips, but nothing too hearty. There will be also be food for sale at the afterparty.
  • AFTERPARTY: Going down at the Urban Saloon. Great bar, if you haven’t already been. They are totally styling us out with $2.50 drafts and $3.50 imports and crafts. They will also have food for sale (they have good, inexpensive food).
  • HOW DO I GET SO MUCH BANG FOR MY BUCK? Thanks to the sponsors on the right side of the page, we were able to keep prices extremely reasonable. I cannot thank them enough for their contributions to this event. I do ask that you please check them out when you get a chance.

Oh, and one more thing: I have known several member so the Burnin’ Loves since I was about 5 years old. So tomorrow night is your chance to find out what a loser popular guy I was in high school. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. This is gonna be a blast. Hope to see you there!

Scoreboard, brought to you by the Legendary WID

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ONEALS

  1. Lamda Lamda Lamda 106
  2. Young, Old and Restless 100
  3. Drinkin For Two 97
  4. We Got Nothin’ 97
  5. Michale J. Fox…95

BARDS

  1. Sofa Kingdom 114
  2. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion 102
  3. Western Omelette 101
  4. Fat Kids Always Win at See Saw 98
  5. Sop You Up with a Biscuit 80

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

  1. Barack and Angie (The Champs) 86
  2. A Man With No More Seasons (Jams) 84
  3. This Round Sponsored By…73
  4. But My Mom Says I’m Cool 67
  5. Spitzer Swallows 63

BLACK SHEEP

  1. Always $$ in a Banana Stand 107
  2. Duane’s World 106
  3. Happy B-Day Sherpa 106
  4. Sara Goodtimes 94
  5. 4 Horsemen of Pinpocalypse 92

GOOD DOG

  1. Fort Awesome 89
  2. Dr. Girlfriend 85
  3. Shomer Shabbas 77
  4. Goodbye Egg McMuffin 70
  5. The Underachievers 6

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THE BARDS

  1. Off Like a Prom Dress 90
  2. Malibu Love Nest 87
  3. Not in Front of the Virgin 84
  4. Scissor Me Xerxes 81
  5. Youporn.com 69

JGT hears from Arch Enemy

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Remember Mike Pomranz, the young man who blasted me in a letter to the editor a few weeks ago. Well, in a cruel twist of fate, he got press from the Inquirer last week. (Apparently open mic night at The Fire is newsworthy, but the largest and most prestigious team trivia event in the world is not. Not that I’m bitter.) Here’s my favorite part: So why go to open mic? “To meet people and to find support,” Pomeranz says with a laugh. No wonder he was laughing. “To meet people and find support” is a hilarious line, and it comes as no surprise that Mike came up with something so witty.

Apparently the surge in recognition had all sorts of folks just crawling out of the woodwork to be his Myspace friend, so he changed his status to private. Not just anybody can be Myspace friends with Mike Pomranz, author/signer/letter to the editor writer! No sir, it’s an exclusive club, and only a few are allowed in his inner circle!

Anyways, he has emerged from an important meeting with his well-rounded, intellectual, and extremely urbane circle of Myspace friends to engage us with his thoughts on my last two columns, first the one on the NCAA tourney I did last week, then on the one I did on celebrity run-ins a few days ago. Click below to read Mike’s take on the two columns.

Continue reading “JGT hears from Arch Enemy”