Month: January 2008

Around the Horn, brought to you by a Sexy Robot

SexyRobot2.jpg

  • Spent my Saturday night lying on my couch watching the Buddy Holly Story (and you thought I didn’t have an exciting life!) Anyways, great movie. Did a little research after it was over and stumbled across something pretty incredible. Peggy Sue (the inspiration for the Holly song) and Holly’s wife, Maria Santiago, have never gotten along. Well, Peggy Sue recently decided to release a book in which she says that Holly was planning to divorce Santiago and marry her. Santiago is not pleased, and is suing for the book to not be released. I wish two women would get in a catfight over me 50 years after my death. That is my main wish. My 2nd wish is for a time machine.
  • It was on this date in 1950 that George Orwell died. Here is his obit in the BBC. One of my favorite Orwell shorts is “Shooting an elephant”. The correlation between this story and our current foreign policy is striking.
  • Sex with robots is on its way. Finally! Levy, however, foresees dolls imbued with artificial intelligence to give them personality and charm. The first talking sex robots, he says, could just utter a few stock phrases. (“You’re huge!”) With my luck with electronics (and women), I’m sure I’d order a defective one. “Wait, before we do anything, I’d like to…beeedie, beeedie, beedie…rehash that argument we had last night. “
  • Ram It! Just Ram It! Man, I hope the Patriots put out a rap song before the Super Bowl.

Scoreboard, Brought to you by King Obnoxious at the Black Sheep

01-2008.jpg
O’NEALS

  1. Young, the Old and the Restless 90
  2. Cornbread Mafia 89
  3. Does the Speed Round Involve Meth? 88
  4. I Got Nothin’ 83
  5. Dork Sided 82

BARDS

  1. Sofa Kingdom 115
  2. Western Omelette 107
  3. Hurtin Bombs 95
  4. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion 92
  5. Obama’s Not Half Bad 86

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

  1. The Jams 100
  2. This Is Not a Bus 96
  3. The Marcie Salad is People 84
  4. Oprah’s Book Club 80
  5. If She Were a Tub, I’d Caulk Her 79

BLACK SHEEP

  1. Duane’s Satans 91
  2. Fine Young Cannibals 86
  3. Oops I Lost My Kids Again 81
  4. Philly Hardcore 77
  5. Baron Munchausen 75

GOOD DOG

  1. The Axis of Evil Knieval 101
  2. Fort Awesome 90
  3. Grandma Ashlie 89
  4. Crusaders 84
  5. The double dot Fa-Chinas 80

BARDS

  1. Sofa Kingdom 103
  2. Space Toilet 2: Electric Boogaloo 92
  3. Hurtin Bombs 88
  4. Western Omelette 87
  5. Brokeback Mountain 2: The TO and Romo Story 76

After a week full of upsets, the universe returned to normal this week, with the favored teams winning every single quizzo. But we did have some real tight contests, and one of the biggest shootouts in recent memory at the Bards. This is Not a Bus is the first team in a long time to consistently give the Jams fits. Hopefully next week will bring some more surprises. One surprise we had this week was the guy above, the loudest, most obnoxious player we’ve probably ever had to deal with. In the opening rounds, every time his team got one right, he would holler out, “Yeah M***** F******!!!” at the top of his lungs. Fortunately, as the game progressed and his team slipped further and further behind, the yells came at longer intervals.

Philly Beer Week

header.jpg
I guess most of you have heard by now that Philly is hosting it’s beer week on March 7-March 16. Ginger will be by as we get closer with more details. There is talk of a quizzo event as part of it. I will keep you updated. But in the meantime, I just thought you might want to check out the specifics. I would link you to the write up by Joe Sixpack on today’s Philly.com, but I try to avoid linking to things that have little images that pop up in front of the words trying to sell you stuff. It drives me crazy. However, here’s a nice little quote about beer from Cliff Clavin:
“Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”

Raising Arizona

raising_arizona.jpg
It’s currently on the TV. I had forgotten how many classic lines were in this movie:

Me and Dot went in to adopt on account a’ somethin’ went wrong with my semen, and they said we had to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said, “Healthy white baby? Five years? What else you got?” Said they got two Koreans and a negra born with his heart on the outside.

Ed McDonnough: You mean you busted out of jail.
Evelle: No, ma’am. We released ourselves on our own recognizance.
Gale: What my brother here means to say is that we felt that the institution no longer had anything to offer us.

Evelle: These blow up into funny shapes and all?
Grocer: Well no… unless round is funny.

Cellmate: …and when there was no meat, we ate fowl and when there was no fowl, we ate crawdad and when there was no crawdad to be found, we ate sand.
H.I.: You ate what?
Cellmate: We ate sand.