Month: July 2007

Around the Horn

tom_delay_mugshot.jpg
-The bowling party on Saturday was a huge success. Well, not for me, but for the guys who put it on, Badminton Stamps and Emily and Lee from Narcotyzing . Nice show, though I was nine pins away from winning a date…again! I was extremely disappointed by my performance and acted like a spoiled rotten child the entire night.

-Steve O. is performing at the Khyber tonight as part of Die Actor Die, Don Montrey’s monthly show. Check him out. It’s at 8 p.m. and tix are $5 cheap.

-A few quick questions with Bill Maher.

-Philebrity wonders: Is the reason that the media cares so much about the weekends murder of a 14 year old bike rider because it happened near tourist mecca Pat’s and Geno’s?

-And Bob T. and Darth Ern’s hero, Tom Delay, is gonna speak at the Constitution Center tonight. Following his speech, Delay will be sacrificing live puppies.

Hurtin Bombs win First US History Quizzo

07-14-2007 013 (Custom).jpg
It took overtime, but the Hurtin’ Bombs knocked off the Champs at the first ever Quizzo at the Constitution Center. It was an interesting quizzo, as the booming acoustics of the building rendered the mic needless, and the life sized bronze statues of the Founding Fathers looked on from a nearby room. There were a few things that worked out great, a few things we need to tweak (if the weather’s that nice again, we gotta do it outside!), but for the most part it went pretty well. A crowd of about 45, which wasn’t bad considering the fact that there was no time to advertise anywhere besides my website and that most of the regulars couldn’t make it (No Kingdom, no Minions, no Duane’s World, no Jams, though Darth Ern put up a damn impressive 83 playing by himself.) We’ll do it again on August 3rd, and it’ll be even bigger and even better. I’ll post the Constitution quizzo questions shortly.

A little part of history

07-14-2007 020 (Custom) (2).jpg
I was at the historic game and it was, well, really not that fun. I mean, baseball games are always fun in a certain sense, because they are a good excuse to spend a little QT with your peoples. But the action on the field was terrible, and it was humid enough that the crowd didn’t really seem to get excited about the 10,000 losses And to be honest, it was one of the most pathetic performances I’ve ever seen this team give on the field. It was the first time I’ve ever left a baseball game before the final out. With it 10-0 in the 7th, after the Cards 6th home run, I couldn’t stomach anymore. However, I do think it’s worth noting that the following people were part of the 10,000th loss: Jose Mesa, who pitched a perfect inning. Scott Rolen, who still gets booed loudly every time he bats. And home plate umpire Jim Wolf, who is Randy Wolf’s brother, called balls and strikes for the 10,000th. And for the first time probably ever, a used Phillies ticket will be worth something on ebay. Final little fun fact: The Phillies 10,000th loss was the first Phillies loss in Lucia Marie’s life. It’s been reported that she cried and cried all night long after the loss.
RELATED: My column in the Metro about 10,000.

The Week in Review

07-14-2007 006 (Custom).jpg
The week started on Monday with the birth of my 8 pound, 20 inch niece, Lucia Marie Sullivan. I smoked a celebratory cigar with my dad and brother in law on Tuesday morning, then drove back to Philly to get the quizzo week under way. Let’s face it, the questions on Tuesday and Wednesday were as tough as I have ever asked, and scores were pretty low. But before we get to quizzo, I gotta make sure that those of you who haven’t already read about Willie Gee getting fired at the thrift store do so, and read the ensuing comments section, as numerous people from the Eastern Shore challenge Palestra Jon to a fight.

We got back in the swing of things tuesday night, as the Young, the Old, and the Restless scored a 92 to cruise past the competition at O’Neals, and the Sofa Kingdom finally ended their longest schneid ever, winning for the first time in over a month with an easy 95-80 win over Narkotyzing.

LadyBird Has Flown the Coop (aka the Jams) knocked off Steve O and D-Macs team, Easy Round My Ass, 88-82, at the Vous. It was the Jams 5th straight win. I feel a bounty coming on. Duane’s World posted a 96-90 win over Toxic Megacolon at the Black Sheep.

A strange night at the Good Dog. We had a nice sized crowd, but I don’t know if I recognized a single player. A lot of new blood at the Dawg, and Nazakhstan came away with a 92-88 win over Salt ‘N’ Pepa.

On to the Bards, where the Hurtin Bombs missed 2 of the first 6 questions and then did not miss another one to knock off the Kingdom, 116-101. My ex-girlfriends team (The Birfday Squad) finished 4th with 91. We also saw our lowest score of the week, a 33 by I’d Rather Be Drinking at Drinker’s. Pics of winners, toughest questions of the week, and results of Constitution quizzo coming Monday.

News and Notes

Will get the Week in Review done manana. Gotta get to work on this American quiz at the Constitution Center. Again, the details are: Exclusive tour at 6 p.m., quizzo at 6:30 p.m. It will be a quizzo with lots of Americana and such. It does cost $12 to get into the museum but after that the quizzo is free. They will be selling booze and light snacks. Each member of the winning team will walk with a $20 gift certificate to the Stephen Starr restaurant of their choice. 2nd place gets free movie passes to the Ritz 5. We’ll be done around 8-8:30ish. Hope to see ya there!

Around the Horn, brought to you by Bad Idea Jeans

bad_idea_jeans_2_2.jpg
-Have you heard about ghost riding the whip? I highly encourage you all to ghost ride the whip yourselves, just to see what it’s like. I particularly think Darth Ern will enjoy it. What could go wrong?

–15 worst music ideas ever. Me performing “Flashdance” at Quizzo Bowl 3 did not make the cut, surprisingly.

-Did you know that there were porno games made for the Atari 2600? Did you know that one of them was called “Custer’s Revenge“, in which a visibly aroused Custer dodges arrows to have sex with a Native American woman tied to a cactus? Should I repeat the second half of that last sentence? “A visibly aroused Custer dodges arrows to have sex with a Native AMerican woman tied to a cactus.” Thank you.

–The worst baseball trades of all time.

Constitution Center Quizzo

constitutionCenter_256x257.jpg
The first of the three US History quizzos I’ll be hosting at the National Constitution Center will be tommorrow night at 6:30 p.m. It should be a lot of fun. You have to pay the regular fee to get into the museum, but the quizzo is free. Each member of the winning team is gonna get a $20 gift certificate to the Stephen Starr restaurant of their choice (team size max is 8), and 2nd place will get free movie passes to the Ritz 5. Not too shabby. Here is the press release:
JOHNNY GOODTIMES TO HOST THREE QUIZZOS AT NATIONAL CONSTITUTION CENTER

(Philadelphia) – Philadelphia’s only true man of leisure will be taking time out from his life of idle tranquility to host three U.S. history themed quizzos as part of the Happy Hour With the Founders event at the National Constitution Center (525 Arch Street), with the first quizzo occurring on Friday the 13th of July. The quizzo is part of the Historic Philadelphia Nights series, as the Constitution Center will be staying open until 8 p.m. on Fridays and Saturdays on most weekends of the summer to offer dance lessons, exclusive tours, and bands in addition to quizzo.

Goodtimes, who has performed at the Palestra and the Franklin Institute in the past, is particularly excited about this one. “I am a big US history buff, and am looking forward to challenging the good people of the most historic city in the United States to quizzos that will cover all aspects of the American experience, from Presidents to athletes to rock stars.” There are rumors that Goodtimes will be dressing himself in colonial garb for the events, but Goodtimes says that these are just “Scandalous lies perpetrated by my enemies.”

The Historic Summer Nights series begins on July 13, at 5 p.m. At 6:00 p.m.and 7:00 p.m., the Center will be offering a scandalous “Lurid Lives of the Founders” tour , which will let you know which of the Founding Fathers were lovers, gamblers, and schemers. Quizzo will begin at 6:30 p.m., shortly after conclusion of the 6:00 p.m. tour of “Scandalous Lives”. Quizzo and the “Lurid Lives” tour are free with regular Museum admission. For more information, go to www.johnnygoodtimes.com or call Johnny at (215) 327-4191.