-Wow, did you see Sarah SIlverman rip Paris Hilton last night? Priceless. Jack Nicholson enjoyed it. I think Paris should write a book and call it, “When Bad Things Happen to Bad People.”

-You guys heard of Gary Webb, the journalist who discovered that the CIA was putting crack in the inner cities who was then discredited and his career ruined by the liberal NY Times and Washington Post? Pretty fascinating stuff.

-Happy birthday Bjorn Borg! Just say his name 5 times and see if you’re smiling. You are.

-That TB guy is gonna be on Larry King Live tonight. He’s the biggest media whore since Bono. Geez, if I knew all it took to be famous was to contract deadly tuberculosis, I would have caught it years ago.

Well, Rubefest was almost a reality except for one thing: beer. I had a great space (outside at Jamaican Jerk Hut) but I couldn’t charge people to attend if I had booze (it’s a BYO), and I didn’t have enough time to get kegs donated. But I still think we could have a great event, maybe in July, with music, food, and booze, but we need something Phillycentric and/or absurd to celebrate. Any ideas?

The good news (for him) is that my freaking editor gave Art more space in the paper than she gave me, and he does a good job with it again this week, writing about good Happy Hours. The bad news is that he blew out his Achilles tendon the other night while walking home. He stepped on a hubcap and came down awkwardly. Only in Philadelphia can you hurt yourself by stepping on litter. Anyways, tell Art to get better soon.

ALright, I posted a column a couple of weeks ago where I asked what the best non JGT quizzo related bar in Philly was. Got a lot of answers, so I had to narrow it down somewhat but still giving you a bunch of choices, and an “other” option if you feel like you need to write one in.

Needless to say, the game went well. The Phillies really put up a spirited fight. But hey, I got a Schmitter and still had a good time. So after the game, me and the crew went to the Cantina, where they have happy hour pitchers of Margaritas for $10. After stumbling out of there, Nate and I were walking at around 12th and Washington when a disheveled, moderately crazy looking guy, wearing three winter coats on an 80 degree day and waiting for the bus with a bag lady, noticed our Phillies shirts. We thought he was gonna ask us for change. “As a Phillies fan for 40 years, can I tell you guys something?” he asked rhetorically and a little wild eyed. “Never go to the businessman special. They always lose the businessman special games. They don’t even try. What was it, 8-1?” We told him yes and he replied, “See, I told you, they don’t even try. You can go to the Sunday day games, but don’t bother with the businessman specials.” The bag lady started screaming madly at him. “They don’t care!! Shut up!!” (You know that optical illusion where one of them is a pretty young lady with a necklace and the other one is an old lady with a bonnet over her head? She looked exactly like that old lady.) He continued. “That was a nice blast by Victorino yesterday wasn’t it? You can go to the Sunday day games, that’s fine. They try to win those.” The bag lady screamed again like a 3 year old. “The bus is here!!!!” “But they always lose the businessman specials. Been losing them for 40 years.” He spun on his heels and hopped on the bus. And that, my friends, is what happens to Phillies fans when they get older. They begin stocking up on winter coats and dating angry bag ladies.

-If you are looking to participate in this years City League Rock Paper Scissors Championship, you better play this week. “But Johnny, I haven’t played yet. There’s no way I can earn enough points to move to the Championship.” Oh, but there is. Jam Master Sean has decided to make this week double points week. So win a match or two and you should be eligible to knock off the cities defending champion, whoever that might be (ahem).

-The Phillie foie gras war is heating up. A cover story in the Sunday Inky. Of course, this follows the surreal standoff at Le Bec Fin a couple of weeks ago when some enormous rich guy pulled out his dong and wagged it at a bunch of protesters. I remember the last time I whipped out my unit at Le Bec Fin. It didn’t go over as well as I had hoped.

-It was on this date in 1919 that Congress approved the 19th Amendment, giving women the right to vote. And the country has gone to hell in a handbasket ever since.

-There is a MAJOR quizzo development in the works for mid August. Details in the coming weeks.