The Week in Review

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The week started with an unfortunate loss by my crack team at Dark Horse Quizzo. Then, on Tuesday, we saw a huge blowout at the Bards. The Young, the Old, and the Restless, blew out Philly Hardcore, 106-79. Defending Champs Dork Sided finished with a 55.

On to the Bards, where we saw a memorable meltdown. The Sofa Kingdom and the Narcotyzing Dysfunktion entered the final round tied at 58. On the weekly double, the question was asked, “Before the Titanic sank, the White Star Line was going to name it’s sister ship this, which sounds like Titanic.” The Narcotizers got it right (Gigantic). The Kingdom had Gigantic written down, but in a brief fit of insanity, changed it to Titanic II. Their defense: they had been drinking at the Phils game. (Best answer to that question, though, came from Hitler Wore a Spam Shirt, who guessed “Super Titanic”.

The Jams
headed into the final round down four to Nottingham Hill, but blew past them in the final frame to notch a 110-89 win. It is their 4th win in a row. A bounty next week? Certainly a possibility.

Things were a lot tighter at the Black Sheep. Duane’s World kept their heads above water during the rap round, and was still within 8 points of Catdog after three rounds. In the final round, they made their move, and edged a CatDog team still anxious for their first win, 90-88.

A MAGMA-less field at the Good Dog, and Fat Kid 6 too full advantage of it to come away with a 90-81 win over Fun Rocket. Team F****** Awesome put fought the good fight, and finished in 3rd with 79.

A emotional night at the Bards, as long time Satan’s Minions member Diane would be taking the field for the final time before moving to DC. The Minions entered the final round down three to the Kingdom, but fought on and came away with a 111-104 win. My Pubic Hair is an Exact Replica of Tom Selleck’s Moustache finished with 82.

NBC glorifies mass murder

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NBC, which thought that the best way to honor the victims of this weeks massacre was to glorify their killer and let his thoughts be known, is starting to face a backlash. Matt Lauer made the lamest defense, saying, “But we’ve made the decision because, by showing some of this material, perhaps it will help us understand the question why. Why did it happen?” Well, gee, Matt, why don’t you show us some child pornography so we can try to figure out why. Why do people watch it? It’s simple, because gratuitous and disgusting pornographic acts are not meant for the public airwaves. Nor should we give over our airwaves to pieces of human filth who want to inspire a cult like following. NBC, when it sent out the materials to other stations, demanded that its logo be stamped in the corner and said that other stations must give mandatory credit to NBC News. They’re hoping that the recent mass murder will lead to an increase in ratings for Scrubs. Hey NBC, sorry there couldn’t have been a camera inside the schoolroom when the guy killed the Amish girls. After all, I’m sure it could have helped us understand, “Why?” Too bad, b/c that would have been a ratings bonanza, you sick f****. Interesting, isn’t it, that Don Imus is too disgusting to speak on NBC, but mass murderers aren’t?
RELATED: NBC Exploits Killings for Ratings.

One of these things is not like the others

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Ok, so this is weird, and I’m kind of wondering it it’s true. There is a politician in India named Adolf Lu Hitler Marak. He is in the state of Maghalaya. While reading about him, I came to this sentence, “It may be noted that his name is not particularly curious within Meghalaya, where other local politicians are named Lenin R. Marak, Stalin L. Nangmin, Frankenstein W. Momin, or Tony Curtis Lyngdoh.” Hitler, Lenin, Stalin, Frankenstein, Tony Curtis. A five headed hydra of evil, if you ask me.

Phils WIn! Phils WIn! Phils WIn!

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Do you believe in Miracles? Yes! The Nats loaded the bases with nobody out in the 9th, but the Phils escaped with a 4-2 win. Hallelujah! Btw, as D-Mac says, shouldn’t they trade Rowan right now that he’s hitting so well? Also, Mitch WIlliams is excellent in the post game coverage. Seriously, he is really good.

Let’s take this back to the old school

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Nothing really interesting in the news today, so I found myself flipping thru phillyhistory.org (via Phawker). Found some great stuff. First saw a pic of the Horn and Hardart Automat, where you bought your lunch from a vending machine. It was the original fast food, and it began in Philadelphia. For some more pics and info on Horn and Hardart, click here. Then I came upon the phillyhistory.org blog. This is awesome. Stories about how bad Philly’s drinking water was, the Divine Lorraine, and about the legendary Man Full of Trouble Tavern. Here’s the best part from the drinking water story:
Schuylkill water was so bad by the late 19th century that “…a physician offered $50 to anyone who would drink a quart of it ten nights in a row. Each evening, the doomed man comes on stage, the stipulated amount of water is brought out and he takes the draught to slow music before a sympathetic audience. It is the agreement that if he vomits or dies, he will lose the prize.”

Doctors were so much more fun back then, offering prizes for not dying, then forcing people to drink typhoid water. Now it almost seems like they’re trying to saaaave lives. BORRRR-RING. I may not be a doctor (at least not officially licensed as such), but I am carrying on this proud tradition nonetheless. I will pay $50 to anyone who will drink water from the Schuylkill 10 nights in a row. If you vomit or die, you will lose the prize.

Thoughts on Charlie

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Wow, things are really getting nutty now. Charlie Manuel reportedly challenged Howard Eskin to a fight last night. Now had he actually fought Eskin and beaten his ass, we would clamoring for the Phils to sign Charlie to a lucrative extension. But instead there was just some yelling and, at the end of the day, all we have is the second worst team in the majors (only the Royals, who my intramural softball team beat a few weeks ago, are worse) and Howard Eskin still on the air.

I have to admit, I like Charlie, and this makes me like him even more (We’re both from VA, so that makes us peoples). And it’s not his fault that the only player on this team that can hit is the one we were most worried about (Pat the Bat) and that if you sent up a decent junior high team against major league pitching I really don’t think they would do worse than .200 with runners in scoring position. But the fact is that he’s not a good National League manager, and I can’t understand why the Phillies will yet again let the best available manager get signed by someone else while we sit on our thumbs and get worse and worse. You would have thought we would have learned when we let Jim Leyland go. Yet Joe Girardi continues to announce games, will get signed eventually, and turn some team around. But hey, look at the bright side: since we are trailing every game by the 5th inning, we haven’t even really had to deal with our biggest weakness, the bullpen. So the $64,000 question is: Will Charlie make it out of April?

In honor of scrapplefest: Gross food news

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Scrapplefest is being held this weekend at Reading Terminal. They will actually be showing how scrapple is made. It’s a fascinating process which involves sweeping hot dog leftovers off the floor of the slaughterhouse.

-This is incredible. A guy bought a hamburger from McDonalds 18 years ago, and it hasn’t decomposed at all! He says that flies won’t even touch it.

-How do strawberry milkshakes get their red coloring? Ground up beetles, of course.