Liveblogging the tourney

Alright, so I’m gonna write about the early games as they happen. LIVE!!! Holy cow, the future is here. (Btw, I totally stole this idea from D-Mac, but there is nothing he can do to stop me.) Here goes:

12:41: Why is our game Georgia Tech vs. UNLV? In 1990, this would have been an AWESOME game, but now I really don’t care. I wanna see North Texas, who is beating Memphis 17-11. I did wanna see UVA, but that game is a blowout, 33-14.

12:45: Do you ever notice that this is the pre-eminent sports tournament of the year, and the stands are always completely empty for the first round games? Can someone explain that to me?

12:50: I’m glad that they’ve got the 2nd whitest black man* in America in the studio, Greg Gumbel. I think he has the all-time record for most hours spent in front of a television camera without ever once saying something interesting or informative. I’ve gone to the NCAA on Demand feature on to watch North Texas and Memphis. It’s like watching a game on Youtube, but this Tech-UNLV game sucks.
*Bryant Gumbel is number one. Michael Jackson recently slipped to third.

12:53: Bill Raftery just said, his voice progressively rising, “His derriere has the presence, the power, the prowess to take it to the tin.” Bill Raftery, by the way, is my favorite announcer in all of sports. I’m not kidding. I love that guy. HE KICKS BILLY PACKERS SORRY ASS!!!!!

12:58: I wish Bill Raftery was my grandfather.

1:03: I wish Billy Packer was Dimeo’s grandfather.

1:04: I bet Billy Packer eats at Applebee’s all the time.

1:06: Now I’m pissed. I got kicked out of the CBS Sportline thing for no reason, and now I am like 8,000th in line to get back in. Which means I have to listen to Billy Packer. I’m surprised Packer would stoop to covering a 10 seed like Georgia Tech. I thought Billy Packer only covered One seeds and national championships. Oh well, at least Tech is an ACC team. I’d hate for Billy to have to cover a mid-major.

1:12: Jim Nance is CBS’s version of Bob Costas, solid on his sports facts but devoid of a sense of humor. I also think that Nance is much more of a corporate shill than Costas.

1:18: Verne Lundquist: Was there a little bit of a Louganis there?
Bill Raftery, his voice progressively rising: A bit of a dive.

Why is it hilarious when these guys say stuff like that, and so annoying when they do that stuff on Sportscenter? B/c these guys sound like they’re having fun, and the Sportscenter anchors sound like they’re enjoying hearing themselves talk.

1:20: I love the new Holiday Inn Express commericals with the rodeo clown. Better than any Super Bowl commercial.

1:23: Oh yeah, the actual game. North Texas starting to look shaky. Memphis has gone up by five. North Texas with four TOs in 4 possessions. Memphis up by 7. THis could get ugly real fast. Alley oop. Memphis up 9.

1:26: What day is St. Patties Day? I honestly have no idea. Memphis up 9 at the half. Oh good, here comes Greg Gumbel for the halftime show!

1:45: My buddy Nathan just called from Virginia. That’s one thing I love about this tournament. My friend Mark from Utah called this morning. Both guys I grew up with. I probably talk to each of those guys a handful of times a year. But this time of year all my friends from back home are calling around to each other b/c we have to compare brackets. This is better than Christmas.

1:48: CBS is doing a good job of moving the action around. They used to be really bad about that, but finally got sick of hearing people say, “ESPN used to do such a better job than CBS does with first round games.” So now they go the game that is most interesting, not the one that they think we want to watch because one of the colleges is within 700 miles of us.

1:59: North Texas just keeps hanging around. They’re only down 5. UNLV/GT is actually a pretty good game too. The UVA game is a total blowout. UVA looks great, which means only one thing: they are going to lose their next game by 30, guaranteed. They’ve had essentially the same team fr 30 years. They look like the best team in NCAA history one game, and then look like the Washington Generals in the next.

2:03: North Texas guy just missed a breakaway dunk. As some of you know, I play quite a bit of hoops. And please know that I am telling the truth when I say: I have never missed a breakaway dunk.

2:11: If Jim Nance and Jeff Probst ever traded jobs for a week, would anyone notice?

2:20: This UNLV/GT is by far the best game going. UVA won big, and it looks like North Texas gave up after that guy missed that dunk. Still no big upsets in the tourney yet. Will this be the year without a Cinderella?

Looks like this UNLV-GT game could be just our 2nd really good one of the tourney (Duke-VCU being the first). I’ve got Tech winning in my bracket, so it is vitally important that they win.

2:28: Georgia Tech can’t buy a rebound. They are blowing it. Come on Yellow Jackets! I need this!!!

2:31: Bad foul call. He didn’t touch him. These refs have a personal vendetta against me and my bracket!!! It’s sooooo obvious.

2:33: 5 second call with less than a minute left? These refs are obviously working for the Soviets.

2:36: Looks like UNLV is gonna win. They are up four with 36 seconds left. Then the Rebels and the refs are gonna go to the locker room and laugh at my bracket, which they have teamed up to ruin.

2:41: UNLV wins. I hate UNLV. Seriously, a 5 seconds call with less than one minute left s really a terrible call. Hate to see refs decide the game. Well, that’s about it. I ain’t gonna do this all freaking day, but it was a lot of fun.