Month: December 2006

Bobby Badtimes is Back! Beware his Wrath!

05-12-2006 008 (Custom).jpg
A lot of youse been wondering where I’ve been. Well, it’s simple. I’ve been spending a lot of time in exotic foreign places that people like you can’t afford to go to, and spending my evenings wining and dining women who wouldn’t give losers like youse the time of day. Finally the funds ran a little low, so I agreed to write a little piece for this pathetic website that about two of youse read for anything other than the question of the week. Here goes:

Hey hipsters. I’ve had just about enough of you greasy annoying whiners who buy $10 ugly ass shirts at a second hand boutique for $20 so you can say that it’s used and listen to bands that suck on the offchance that the band gets a record deal someday so that then you can say that you saw them at the Khyber back in the day and “To be honest, you weren’t really that impressed.” Hey hipsters, here’s a few tips: pants legs rolled up look stupid, bed head looks stupid, you are ugly, you are an idiot. I hope Vladimir Putin finds you and slips polonium 210 into your Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Continue reading “Bobby Badtimes is Back! Beware his Wrath!” →

Johnny tries to find love on the internet again

-Hey, do you think this is gonna work? (Be sure to scroll down and see accompanying photo. SFW).

-Congratulations Good Dog! Craig Laban says they have the best cheeseburger in Philadelphia. (Inky via Foobooz.)

-Don’t worry. Just because Rummy left doesn’t mean we still can’t torture US citizens w/o charges against them. (NY Times)

-Happy 43rd to pole vaulter Sergei Bubka (pronounced, delightfully, Sir-gay Boob-ka)) and happy 37th to Jay Z.

-It was on this date in 1872 that the ghost ship Mary Celeste was discovered, in excellent condition, with nothing missing but the passegers and crew. What happened? The Straight Dope investigates.

Eagles vs. Panthers on the big screen!

03playoffs_carolinahdr.gif
Here’s the thing gang. If we win tonight, we will be tied for the 4th best record in the NFC! As much of a total disaster as this season’s been, there is still a chance to turn this thing around and make the playoffs. But we have to win tonight. As one of America’s greatest band ever said, “Don’t Stop Believin'”. So come out to watch the game on Philadelphia’s largest screen and come to the only place where you can watch and possibly even participate in the Wheel of Terrific. It’s also dollar dog night, we’ll be giving away a bunch of stuff, we’ll have some speed comedy with some of philly’s best young comedians, and beers will be super cheap. And it’s free! Honestly, there is nowhere you can go in Philly and have more fun watching the game than the Trocadero (1003 Arch Street). See ya there!

You Gots to Chill Trivia

Yeah, it’s getting chilly outside, and you know what that means: that it is absolutely freezing in my giant old drafty house. Thusly inspired, the questions below all have to do with the cold. Please only one guess per person, and no googling for answers. Good luck!

Week in review

12-01-2006 016 (Custom).jpg
We turned it up to 11 on Monday of this week, and it stayed one higher all week long. Spinal Tap played on Monday, and though I would have liked to have seen a few more of you who voted for it, I understand that it was the Monday after Thanksgiving, so I’m gonna let this one slide. We still had a good crowd, and they seemed to enjoy Wheel of Terrific games such as Big Bottom and Lick My Love Pump. I’m telling you guys, you’ve got to check out the Wheel. You all would love it.

Check to see if your team made the bold print, read about controversy on Tuesday, a major upset on Wednesday, and a bounty bowl, after the jump.

Continue reading “Week in review” →

Killer Whale attack

killer%20whale.jpg
By now, you have all heard about the killer whale attack, and since I worked with marine mammals for a few years, I thought I would throw in my two cents. I am whole heartedly against killer whales in captivity. To be honest, I have very mixed feelings about dolphins in captivity, but not about killer whales. It is simply tragic that these incredibly intelligent creatures are kept cooped up in tiny holding areas, wasting away. In the wild, these creatures swim about 75 miles a day. Their holding tanks are usually not too much longer than the whales themselves. Their life spans are much shorter in captivity.

I have a good friend who is an orca trainer, and she is saddened by the treatment that some of these animals receive. While the trainers no doubt love the animals, there is a very powerful force at work here: this is a multimillion dollar industry and there are corporate interests that could care less about the condition of the animals, as long as they are healthy enough to perform and rake in money. Sorry to sound cynical, but I assure you I have seen plenty of this with my own two eyes. Exotic animals in captivity are a cash cow, and people who know very little about animals often run the financial side of things. These people don’t care whether or not the animal is having a bad day or isn’t in the mood to perform-that animal WILL perform, no questions asked. So the animal that dragged the trainer to the bottom of the pool may have shown signs of aggression earlier in the day, but that would not have mattered. The show had to go on, and the money had to be made.
RELATED: Sad truth about orcas in captivity.