Big things in 2007

A quick reminder for all responsible males in the area who want to do their part to make Philly a world class city: I’ve got your New Year’s Resolution covered. I am undertaking the most ambitious project of my life and I will not succeed without your help. I don’t need your money, all I need is a little bit of your time to achieve the lofty goal I have set for myself. I will have more details at the start of the New Year.

Inquizzinator tonight

Hey gang, I started driving up the road today and then decided I wanted to spend a little more time with my family. So the Inquizzinator is gonna take control tonight. Now, now, I’m coming back on Saturday, so if you’ll just wipe the tears out of your eyes, maybe we can do something together on Saturday. Anybody got any fun ideas? The night before New Years should be good.

The YEAR IN REVIEW

Alright, I’m starting work on the World Famous Johnny Goodtimes Year in Review. While I do work, why don’t you check out a couple of past year in reviews. Ah, good ol’ 2005, when JGT went Punkin’ Chunkin’, went to Intercourse, and tried to advertise on a baby. Let’s also take you way back to 2004, when Russians went rubber woman rafting, Johnny had his laundry stolen by a crackhead, and JGT dated a hot Jersey girl.

Merry Christmas Bedford Falls! Merry Christmas You Old Savings and Loan!

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Just got done drinking a little wine and watching Wonderful Life. It’s as good on the 15th viewing as it was on the first. Here’s a downright hilarious article about why Pottersville is soooooo much kooler than Bedford Falls.
The sole bar in town appears to be Martini’s, a rest home which has a policy against admitting anyone under the age of 60. The strict family values of its devoutly Catholic Neapolitan owner, heavily watered drinks, the constant attention of a kindly bartender who knows your mother and a particularly anodyne menu of Christmas music are the attractions of this morgue, where your chances of getting lucky range between nil and zero.

Rocked the mic with a little “Christmas in Hollis” at my grader party last night. I wish I had video, but I got some good photos. I gotta be honest, I kicked total ass, and the 22 year old girls at the party gave me extended glances before deciding that they weren’t interested.

Looking forward to Christmas day. Will watch a little Christmas Caroll early while we wait for my sis to get here, then watch Elf while we open presents. One of my best friends is a big Cowboys fan, so I’ve invited him and his family to come by and watch as the Eagles destroy them manana. Then, in the spirit of Christmas, I will laugh heartily at his expense and tell him what a fraud his favorite team is. Ah, I love the holidays. Anyways, I just wanna wish you all a joyous Christmas and be sure to check back this week as I work on my world famous “Year in Review” both here and in this week’s Philadelphia Metro.

A week for Christmas Miracles

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Now, I usually start the Week in Review with coverage of Movie Monday. But when Christmas Miracles occur, they get paragraph one treatment. Quizzo at the Rendezvous seemed like the usual quizzo at the Rendezvous. The Jams held a 12 point lead going into the final round. But they missed the special holiday edition of the 12 point weekly double, and two other teams got it, giving us our first ever three way tie in quizzo history (89-89-89). The first question of overtime was, “What year is on the screen at the start of the Christmas in Hollis video?” Perennial sixth place finishers Leftover Crack and the Jams got it right with 1987. The Merry Jolly Consumers guessed 1984 and were eliminated. Next question: “In what year was ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ released?” The teams both got it correct, 1946. Triple overtime. “In what year was the George C. Scott Christmas Carol released?” The Jams guessed 1971 and Crack guessed 1983. The correct answer was 1984, and we had one of the biggest upsets in quizzo history! God Bless Us, Every One!

Continue Reading to see who won, who lost, and what questions were asked.

Continue reading “A week for Christmas Miracles”

Ginger Thursdays…on Friday

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Ginger missed her deadline yeserday, so we had to push her back to Friday’s edition. Today she talks about the Pen and Pencil and her Christmas wish list:

As many know, you never wake up the next day, with the notion, “Wow I am really glad I went to the Pen and Pencil last night.” For those of you who don’t know, back in the day the Pen and Pencil was a place for journalists to go, write and chat. Current day, it’s a late night destination for hospitality industry folk. Bathroom lines are long due to lines in the bathroom, if you catch my drift. Co workers smut it up- sitting on each other’s laps, throwing back whiskey and lagers, hoping everyone’s so out of their mind that they won’t remember who was making out with who the next night at premeal.

Now that I have educated you on the glory laden club, let’s talk about the lovely ginger’s christmas wish. I am asking the bearded one for a new late night destination spot for Philly. One with separate rooms, so you can avoid someone if you don’t want to see them. Possibly a Miss Pacman machine. Good craft beer like Sly Fox and Yards is a must. A bowling lane or two would be nice. Oh, and I don’t want it to be open every night of the week, because that’s too tempting and the lovely ginger needs her beauty sleep.

I am also asking Santa for a digital camera (time to stop the ghetto disposable thing),
knee highs,
an alarm clock, (currently using my cell phone),
more bars with fire places and mulled wine,
inspiration to actually use my gym membership,
a new computer,
this owl tea set,
A better neighborhood grocery store than save-a-lot,
A new advertising campaign for Old City’s Eulogy (nodody wants to read in the PW every week that you are the only Real Belgian-owned bar),
a partner in crime to help me bomb the Philadelphia Parking authority on Filbert St and George Smith Towing in Southwest Philadelphia,
a trip to Belgium or the Czech Republic, and
a new best friend, because Johnny gets too tempermental sometimes.

What’s the best Christmas Movie Ever?

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I just posted a new poll, so be sure to vote. If you’ve got any movies that aren’t on the poll but should be, post below. My favorite Christmas movie of all time is “It’s a Wonderful Life”, hands down. Indeed, watching this film is one of the highlights of the Christmas season. While most movies are about romantic love, this is a film more about platonic love, about the meaning of friendship and how important it is to our lives. But at the time it was released, it received mixed reviews:
-Indeed, the weakness of this picture, from this reviewer’s point of view, is the sentimentality of it—its illusory concept of life. Mr. Capra’s nice people are charming, his small town is a quite beguiling place and his pattern for solving problems is most optimistic and facile. But somehow they all resemble theatrical attitudes rather than average realities. -New York Times

Oh, and apparently there are people who are such stoners that they have figured out when to synch up “It’s a Wonderful Life” and Pink Foyd’s “Wish You Were Here”. Another strange fact about the film: the FBI hated it. A 1947 FBI memo stated that, “With regard to the picture ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’…this film is a rather obvious attempt to discredit bankers by casting Lionel Barrymore as a ‘scrooge type’ so that he would be the most hated man in the picture. This, according to these sources, is a common trick used by Communists.” Final fun fact, this one courtesy of wikipedia: After Uncle Billy chooses between his three wavering hats and leaves George’s house drunk, it sounds as if he is falling over trash cans. This scene was unplanned. A technician accidentally dropped some equipment off-set, making a loud noise. Shouting “I’m all right, I’m all right,” the actor saved the take and made comedic history. The stagehand made an extra $10.