Around the Horn

-Good news. They’re keeping the turkey testicle festival!

-Be careful women. Try not to get your breasts caught in escalators. As a special bonus, click here to see how these deadly machines work.

-Happy birthday, Ann Putnam, Jr. She was one of the girls whose testimony had numerous people killed in the Salem Witch Trials. Even more incredibly, she’s the only woman I’ve ever heard of named Junior.

-I do appreciate, long after the contest ended, the volume of haikus in the comments section. I think we’ve got something magical going on here.