Phillies Phever: Get Ready to Pay More for it!!!

The Phillies, who have made a number of exciting offseason moves recently, including a) getting rid of the best relief pitcher in baseball, and b) hiring a pitcher who loses two out of every three games even though he’s on steroids, further excited their fan base on friday by announcing that they will be raising ticket prices. “We really think that we have got baseball fans in this city whipped up into such a frenzy that it seems like the perfect time to raise ticket prices,” said Pat “Ed Wade” Gillick. “We plan on putting a sub-.500 team on the field this year, but we have a lot of exciting opponents who will be well worth the price of admission.”

Magician/Comedian Norm Klar added to the show!!!

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Norm Klar, who has opened for the likes of Tim Allen, Emo Phillips, and Soupy Sales, will be providing halftime entertainment at Quizzo Bowl 2! Klar, “The Man Who Does for Magic What Michael Jackson Does for Cosmetic Surgery”, has made numerous appearances in Atlantic City, and will be appearing at the World Cafe Live exclusively for Quizzo Bowl 2. “I saw Klar’s performance a couple of years ago, and it was so awesome that I thought of him when I was trying to figure out what to do for halftime a few weeks ago,” said Goodtimes. “This is really a once in a lifetime opportunity for people in Philly to hear two of the best bands in town (the Philadelphia Bluegrass Band and Nate Wiley and the Crowd Pleasers) and see the best magician in town for only ten bucks a pop. Plus they’ll have the opportunity to win $450 in cash and lots of prizes. This is going to be an absolutely incredible event.”

Sue, Sue, Sued You

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Another day, another docket for Philadelphia’s favorite blueberry heir, as Anthony “Hold” Dimeo has decided to take Le Jardin restauranter Athmane Kabir to court following the disastrous New Year’s Eve party at Le Jardin. DiMeo, who first came to fame for suing Jessica Pressler of the Philadelphia Weekly, claims that “Mr. Kabir bit off more than he could chew.” During the melee that ensued during the disastrous party, a local artist named Antonio Puri had two paintings stolen. To learn more about the Delaware Valley’s first family of blueberries, click here.

Philadelphia Bluegrass Band to Open Show!

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The Philadelphia Bluegrass Band has signed on to join the festivities at Quizzo Bowl 2, and will opening the show! “I am exremely excited to have one of the most popular bluegrass bands in Philly opening Quizzo Bowl 2,” said Johnny Goodtimes from his yacht in the Meditteranean. “I try to find new and different kinds of music for each of the big events, and I think that these guys and Nate Wiley together are going to make for a night of not only great quizzo, but of outstanding music as well.” Tickets to Quizzo Bowl 2 can be purchased from Johnny at quizzo for $10, or ordered online by clicking here. Maximum team size for the event is eight.

Hitler Bad, Stalin Good

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Couple of interesting thoughts brought up while talking over a beer with a buddy of mine after quizzo last night. I told him that I had watched Hitler: Tyrant of Terror on the History Channel earlier in the day. First of all, he said, “What if Hitler has a relative who ever comes forward to claim royalties off of all the Hitler shows they air? They’re not going to be able to sustain the station. They’re gonna owe this guy a lot of money.” Then the topic turned to one I’ve had numerous times before. Why is it that Hitler, who killed 6 million of his fellow countrymen in death camps, is held up to be the most evil man of the 20th century, while Stalin, who killed 20 million of his own countrymen in death camps, not considered the most evil? Is it because we realize that victory in the European theatre would not have been possible without Stalin’s help, and we were fighting Hitler in that war? Is it because, at the time, the concept of a bunch of dead Russians wasn’t all that bad of a thought? Or is it because Stalin looked like our sweet old grandpa, while Hitler looked like some sort of backwoods sheep solicitor? Is it worse to kill one particular group of people than to kill any random person who pisses you off?

Now, before you get your panties in a bunch, don’t read this as a freaking endorsement of Hitler. He was a sick, twisted bastard, and he deserves all the villification he gets. I’m just wondering why Stalin doesn’t get the same treatment .
RELATED: Who was worse, Hitler or Stalin?
RELATED: 16 dictators battle it out to find out who was the most evil.

Happy Birthday, Homeboy!

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Philly’s favorite homie, Ben Franklin, turns 300 today. Here’s everything you need to know about the baddest dude to ever rock the illadelph.
Here’s a really good bio of Franklin, not too long and not too short.
Here’s some Franklin quizzes I did last week: Who said it, Franklin or Confucius? And here’s a regular quiz on Franklin.
Here is a write up about Franklin’s famous(and not so famous) inventions.
Here’s some of Ben’s maxims.