There has never been a higher intensity haiku competition in the history of the world, as Jim F. has staged a last minute comeback and, as of 3:38, we’ve got a tie! I’m going to extend the contest. Whoever is leading when I wake up tommorrow morning and check the site will be the winner. That could be 9 am. It could be noon. Hard to say. Ok, so it won’t be 9 am.

You ever see an animal with that, “Why doesn’t anybody love me?” face that just melts your heart? Well, that’s Harley, and he needs to be adopted so he can have a new “Look, somebody loves me!” face. If you know anybody looking for a dog, please tell them about Harley, a German Shepherd mix. He is housebroken and affectionate, but most people look past him when they come to the pound because they want puppies. But come on, puppies poop everywhere and yelp and are downright annoying. If you are interested, please send me an email at johnny@johnnygoodtimes.com, and I will put you in touch with the SPCA. Please tell any friend you have who is looking for a new dog.

…to anyone who punches former Education Secretary William Bennett in the face. Bennett said that “aborting every black baby in this country” would reduce the crime rate.

With only a few hours to go, it looks like Nate is going to take the haiku contest, barring a last minute comeback from Jim F.

It’s Good to Have Land laid the smackdown today, as team member Steve Lambeau said, “Sofa Kingdom might wanna make this little break they’ve taken recently a permanent vacation. There are new sheriffs at the Bards, and they’re wearing assless chaps.” Meanwhile, Nate of the Sofa Kingdom has had to look on in horror, as his lead in the haiku contest has evaporated, with voting ending tommorrow. The winner gets two free tix to the Adventure Aquarium in Camden. There are a lot of people winning free tix to upcoming shows at the Troc. All you gotta do to be eligible is play quizzo tonight.

Not since the ACLU came to the side of Rush Limbaugh in his pill-popping case have we seen anything like this: Johnny Goodtimes is defending a writer for Philly mag who is under fire from all fronts. Noel Weyrich wrote the only interesting article in the most recent episode of Philly mag, one about the disappearance of local girl LaToyia Figueroa, and now he’s getting blasted for it. It seems that the people bashing him, such as Will Bunch at Attytood, get caught up in the personal attacks on bloggers and miss the real point.

Continue reading “Johnny Defends Philly Mag Article” →

So I’m relaxing by the fireplace in my luxury home the other night, reading my latest issue of Philadelphia Magazine. And by reading, I mean flipping through 200 pages of ads for handbags and Stephen Starr and looking at pictures of rich white people. Now keep in mind, it took a while for me to even get the magazine open, because I couldn’t stop staring at Kevin Bacon on the front cover, sporting the worst haircut I’ve ever seen on an actual human being. He looked like a 15 year old girl in 1994. Anyway, I’m trying to make up my mind about whether or not to read some article about Chaka Fattah’s wife (ok, ok, so they occasionally cover rich black people) when I saw a sidebar about Jessica Pressler’s infamous Sixth Borough article.

Continue reading “Philly Mag Takes Cheap Shot at Johnny” →

…Idi Amin or PGW? I’ll give you a little while to mull over that one. I’ll be back this afternoon with my response to the cheap shot I received from Philadelphia Magazine. Also, be sure to vote for your favorite haiku.

The Man in Black will be appearing at the World Cafe Live on Friday night. It’s a cd release party for a local artist named Kate Gaffney. Tix are $12. By the way, the free ticket raffles were a huge success last night. The Troc was nice enough to give me a bunch of tix, so we had a lot of winners, and will have a lot more tonight!

Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? You try for a completely unnecessary base with two outs and the hottest bat in the majors coming to the plate? I was so wrong about being wrong about you.

Johnny Goodtimes is teaming up with the Trocadero to give you free tickets to upcoming shows! Over the next couple of weeks, Johnny will be giving away tickets to The Faint, Blues Traveler, Philly favorite Amos Lee, and Super Diamond, which is, you guessed it, a Neil Diamond cover band! I’ve got lots of tickets to give away and not much time to do it. All you have to do to have a chance to win is show up at quizzo!