Can someone take out Pat Robertson?

Johnny Goodtimes is offering a $15 gift certificate to anyone who beats the living s*** out of Pat Robertson. This messenger of God is calling on America to assassinate the president of Venezuela because he doesn’t agree with our policies. Christians wonder why so many people are leaving the church, and why we are becoming a godless nation. I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that every time I hear a “Christian leader” speak on tv, he sounds like a bigot out of 1960’s Mississippi or just a completely clueless idiot (or, in the case of Pat Robertson, both)? Yes, Chavez is a polarizing figure, and has done business with Castro and China. He’s also instituted free health care for his nations poor and instituted major literacy and education programs. Robertson calls him a dictator. He’s not a dictator. He is the president of Venezuela, elected by popular vote and he survived a recall vote. Below is a list of some of my favorite Pat Robertson quotes. Enjoy!
(P.S. I’m not really giving away a $15 gift certificate to anyone who gives Pat Robertson a beat down. Let’s make it a $20 gift certificate.)

There is no such thing as separation of church and state in the Constitution. It is a lie of the Left and we are not going to take it anymore.
He must have accidentally skimmed over the part that says, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.”

We have imagined ourselves invulnerable and have been consumed by the pursuit of … health, wealth, material pleasures and sexuality… It [terrorism] is happening because God Almighty is lifting his protection from us.

When I said during my presidential bid that I would only bring Christians and Jews into the government, I hit a firestorm. “What do you mean?” the media challenged me. “How dare you maintain that those who believe in the Judeo-Christian values are better qualified to govern America than Hindus and Muslims.” My simple answer is, “Yes, they are.”

The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians.

[Planned Parenthood] is teaching kids to fornicate, teaching people to have adultery, every kind of bestiality, homosexuality, lesbianism — everything that the Bible condemns.

Many of those people involved with Adolph Hitler were Satanists, many of them were homosexuals — the two things seem to go together.
If there was one thing the Nazis loved, it was homosexuals! Almost as much as they loved midgets and gypsies.

I think we ought to close Halloween down. Do you want your children to dress up as witches? The Druids used to dress up like this when they were doing human sacrifice… [Your children] are acting out Satanic rituals and participating in it, and don’t even realize it.

I think “one man, one vote,” just unrestricted democracy, would not be wise. There needs to be some kind of protection for the minority which the white people represent now, a minority, and they need and have a right to demand a protection of their rights.
Robertson explaining that white people in South Africa ought to have more votes than black people because they are in the minority.

Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It’s no different. It is the same thing. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history.

Communism was the brain-child of German-Jewish intellectuals.

The key in terms of mental ability is chess. There’s never been a woman Grand Master chess player. Once you get one, then I’ll buy some of the feminism… (According to the Chess Federation of the U.S. there were already two women Grand Masters at that time, both from Georgia. Since Robertson’s gaffe, three more women became Grand Masters)