Goodtimes Wants to advertise on your baby

baby (Custom).jpg
In a sickening display of soulless greed, Philadelphia’s most reviled quizmaster put in a bid on a newborn baby on EBay. “Yeah, I offered to advertise on a newborn for a month,” said an unrepentant Goodtimes. “Unfortunately, you only get to put your logo on his clothes. I had hoped to maybe write in marker on his forehead or something.” When asked if he had any reservations about doing anything so ethically questionable, Goodtimes added, “Of course. I wasn’t sure if I wanted my company associated with something that poops all over itself. But it’s cheaper than advertising in the paper.”
UPDATE: Well, it looks like Goodtimes will not be advertising on the baby, as he had hoped. He went all the way up to $25 without the reserve even being met. “I ain’t spending more than $25 to put my website on that stupid baby,” says JGT. As of 11:50 a.m., the highest bidder was $100, and the reserve had still not been met. He does take credit for opening the floodgates, however. “Yeah, everybody was scared to advertise on that baby until I stepped up to the plate. I’m like Grandmaster Flash, getting the ball rolling, but never really getting the credit I deserve.”