Beware my wrath

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Hey Phillies, would you mind just playing the rest of your games on the road? CB Park is so nice, it seems like such a waste to have a team like you playing in it when we could have like kickball games and picnics and stuff there.

To the dumb chick who spilled red wine on me last night at McGillan’s: after you bumped me with your elbow for the third time and excused yourself (this all before before the wine incident), don’t you think it might have a decent idea to quit swinging your elbow onto my table? Good work.

Don Rumsfeld is now being sued by veterans at a military retirement home. But don’t get the impression that EVERYBODY thinks that Rummie is either an arrogant ass**** or an incompetent buffoon (or both). There are several tribes of bushmen in Australia who probably don’t even know who he is.

Is every white kid who disappears for more than an hour going to be CNN’s lead story every single day for the rest of eternity?

Hey Spanish language, why can’t you be more like English, especially when it comes to indirect objects? You’re making me look like an idiot in front of my teacher.

Hey dumbass DJs in New Jersey
. If they’re voting, they’re American, not Chinese. You have to be an American citizen to vote, you morons. Jersey trash shouldn’t decide american elections. Americans should.

Well, unless those American voters happen to be Krystyna supporters, who did a nice job of waiting until she lost the “Be the Next Johnny Goodtimes Contest” to start voting for her on the website. I got an idea for you people. Head down to your local polling place and tell them to “Tally up another one for Kerry”.

Hey Philadelphia Weekly, great cover story this week about delivering pizza in New Jersey in the early ’90s. Groundbreaking! If you want, I can write you an eight page tale about cutting grass in Virginia in the late ’80s. Or maybe just supply you with my list of chores in elementary school. Whatever’s clever.

Hey Brent Musburger…um, uh, oh yeah. Happy Birthday!!!

My name is Bobby Badtimes. Beware my wrath!!!